I went through my first real heartbreak after my ex dumped me after three years and a few months in I was still vulnerable. Then i met this guy through a dating app. He talked a bit too much about himself is what I firstly noticed, then how he was quick to rush the intimacy and us kissing and doing all these gestures when we first met and talked a bit. He did say before meeting that he is not looking for anything serious in the new few years and I went with it thinking if it's meant to be it will be.

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I've been going crazy over him for months. Gave him space, tried not to message him too much, he was always busy etc. Would take hours to respond to a message, then it got to days. He would usually message me cute good night messages or good morning ones, wishing me a good day and so on. Would occasionally call me like once a week while he was doing grocery shopping. I would call him to my place once every two weeks because he was the type to treat 'the people he sees' as he was 'their boyfriend' and I quickly got addicted to the feeling.

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I would go through phases of tried not to care. Then when I finally felt free I would see a message or he would call me, like he could sense when I stopped thinking about him. Then I would go back to crushing on him and feeling so let down when he would take long to respond. He would be even less active on the days after we've seen each other.

Our meetings involved passionate stuff, also all of the things a couple would do, hand holding, kissing for a long time, spending the night, breakfast together, hand holding while walking outside.

I finally confessed after two months, he said he doesn't believe in relationships and I should not wait for him, and that he likes me and really cares about me. But I can see from everything he does that he doesn't care enough, not like me. I can see it in the way he looks at me, not lovingly, neutral. Or just the way he doesn't laugh sometimes when I joke. How he never said he misses me, or never called me on a date. I asked him once if he wanted to go take a walk and he said he was busy. I sent him two risky messages in the past two weeks and each time he hurried to see each other and talk about the issue.

The one time we went on a 'date' was to discuss my risky message that was mentioning how I want this vague thing to end..

I told him my ex came back and regrets leaving me, and that I will give him a chance. But the one I want is him.

He has told me He think we have high compatibility for something more in a future, but he thinks he can still find someone better for him, so he still wants to date. Confirmed he is seeing other people.

It hurts I have to accept he doesn't really care because he never asks me about my day (only on rare occasions), or about myself, never calls just to say hi, likes talking about himself.

Now, I don't want to block him. I want to stay friends at least, because I felt like we had a connection and would be ok as friends once my infatuation fades out. But I will never be able to get over this if I don't stop seeing him (I don't want it to stop..) I know I am being foolish and he probably doesn't care. I haven't been that focused on my life recently because of constantly being sad, I feel it got toxic for me. I know I was stupid, still am, but I fell in love and I am patient and it backfired, now I just want to stop feeling like this for him so I can get on with my own life. Help?