The thing I love most about this sub is how we stress confidence and being self-assured. It really is SO important- not only in dating but literally everything.

All of my life I pinned confidence as a masculine trait so, naturally, I stayed away from it. It didn’t help that as a kid, all of the adults in my life praised my passiveness so I kind of took that with me as I grew up. I had no idea why people loved to pick on me or straight up ignore me and the dudes that liked me didn’t really... like me. I had no idea why I was told I was pretty but treated as bottom tier. I had no idea why my first boyfriend, an ugly midget-sized dude with asymmetric peg legs, tried to cheat and looked down (well, up lol) at me like HE was the prize.

You all know this, but I want to reiterate: low self esteem is bait to the worst side of humanity. People will sniff it and their first instinct is to attack. No one is used and abused like someone who doesn’t project confidence. There’s a good reason TRP guys love to target women who show insecurities. Think about all of the women you know who complain about being pumped and dumped. Who do they value more- themselves, or the men they see?

This is definitely still a journey for me and honestly, I’m not a naturally confident, assertive person. After years of rejecting this attitude, it’s no surprise. However, the phrase “fake it till you make it” could NEVER be more true. After attempting to trade in my humble, meek, passive, “feminine” persona for a slightly more fiery one the difference in others’ treatment of me is insane. I can’t think of the last time I was the butt of a joke, people don’t constantly ask me for favors, people don’t take their shit out on me, dirt value men aren’t as bold to hit on me and I’ve been getting attention from men I used to consider myself blessed to share a room with.

If you don’t see yourself as a queen, I swear no one will.