Hi guys, beta here, or former beta I do not know what to call myself, not good looking below average actually. In my 20s I used to spend a lot of time on my computer, not on games, it just programming stuff and IT , most of girls that I was friend with in my social circle considered me just an emotional support, where they start bragging about their boyfriends and their issues. And every girl, that is my looks match, I approached, I was rejected immediately, I only had one date and when she asked me what am I doing? I told her that I m working on my computer science degree she told me owww a computer nerd .

After I got in my tech career I made a lot of money from one my frameworks that I sold, I invested some of it and and by the time I reached 30 I made 8 figures in the bank. And Suddenly I become interesting to all the females that did now me.

I used to spend a lot of money and time for women in their 30 and I thought that I was winning all the suckers that date them in their 20s. I have them now. And they just gived me sex in return nothing more .

I started dating a single mom, since my mom was also single when she had me so I tolerate it , and she said explicitly to me that I need to pay for her daughter's need so that I can prove my love to her which I did. Until one day the girl that I was dating cheated on me with her ex who got out of jail and why? Cus it's her baby daddy she wanted him to be involved and it's the best for her kid, I told her that I take care of her kid more than her loser dad and she choosed me over him. I left her and I took the car that I bought for her but sadly I couldn't got back the jewelries I gave her.

After this bad experience I start looking in the internet for some good advice about women and I found the red pill, damn the rabbit hole exposed. I was so fucking angry and bitter, I hated myself, I felt that I was a pathetic and a loser, I hated my mom I called a manipulative whore which is something that I m not proud of.

I paid for a red pill coaches to give me an advices. I stopped working for a year and a half and I focused on myself rather work. I started testosterone therapy,I hired a personal trainer, I did some plastic surgeries,theeth reconstruction, esthetics saloons, and I bought stylish clothes . I was completely a different person with different lifestyle , I start having success with women, and dating attractive high quality women that are around my age or mostly 3 years younger.

But the sad part I feel I missed my youth and I didn't had the chance to try how it feels to be attracted for who you are not because of what you have.

I can't trust women anymore and tell for sure that women are attracted to me for who I am or I m just a beta bux for them