Finding a balance in solitude? 27 year old recently moved back home after bottoming out.

AloofusMaximus · 2020-06-25T20:03:29+00:00

So for your points.. A lot of guys use monk mode as an excuse to not try. There's no special growth period in life, you're constantly going to be growing (or you should be at least). It's fine to focus on non women aspects, but that doesn't mean completely eliminating them. Would your life be better if you were having regular sex? Simply by having other more important issues/goals/things to demand your time and attention, you'll derive less if your happiness from a woman. Women ought to be an augment to, not source, of your happiness.

You spent years doing something and it turned out to not go the way you planned or expected. That's not wasted time, that's a valuable lesson. You need to take a hard look at the guy in the mirror and figure out the important things to learn from it

You're going to keep running into struggles and adversity, getting through it is what is going to mold you into the man you want to become.

shouldergirdle · 2020-06-25T20:38:50+00:00

This looks like a good life plan.

Now, proclaim it to the world with confidence. Execute your plan with confidence. But most of all, truly believe in your plan and truly believe in yourself. This is how one develops an iron frame.

Now, once you believe in your plan and believe in yourself, you will be able to meet women and not be embarrassed about your living situation. You can confidently represent yourself to women without thinking that you have to justify anything. In fact, if you are securely within your frame, they will have to justify themselves to you. This type of confidence is irresistible to women.

Your on the right track, man. Keep at it!

MountainFact9 · 2020-06-25T21:32:39+00:00

Go for a trip in the van brotha and experience a heroic dose of Psilocybin along your journey, you’ll find the answers.

NabroleonBonaparte · 2020-06-25T21:58:37+00:00

Your struggle is deciding between long-term vs short-term.

Yeah you can’t get a bunch of girls, but everyday you’re banking, lifting, improving.

If you change that by choosing less money, less time to improve, then you’re going to be stuck in this rut for longer. Sure you might get girls, but you’ll always be worrying about reaching your full potential. Imagine how depressed you’ll be if you start hooking with chicks if they AWALT you and you miss out on all the money and improvements.

Let’s say you just buckle down a little longer and eat shit until you save a shit ton of money and achieve the goals your striving for. You’ll have more options because you’ll have the cash to make more decisions. You’ll have more skills that you can use to build your status.

Ask yourself, are you really going to be slaying while this COVID panic is still happening?

Flirt and try to have a few flings if possible, but keep investing in your future until everything opens up and you have options. If a girl is interested in you, it won’t fucking matter if you sleep in your car, she’ll fuck you.

BetterCallSaulsa · 2020-06-26T06:29:08+00:00

You made and lost a fortune. Do it again but don’t lose it this time.

skyrunner22 · 2020-06-25T23:49:14+00:00

Monk mode should be for a specific reason and time. I also dont think its healthy to stay in monk mode for extended periods of time. Its like you are hiding from something.

There are pros and cons to everything, you will have to adjust your schedule even if for a day or two a week.

AllocNeighley · 2020-06-26T07:28:23+00:00

I can see some of me in your text, a lot of grind, seems endless, little social life and women eat your time...

For the first part, I just got the head in the right place, any way you can.

For the women part, if you've been avid reader of trp you would know that a woman can do anything for a guy she is attractive to ~~likes~~. It's up to you define the relationship by boundaries. It's her job to want the cake and eat it too, and it's yours to show with actions ~~say~~ what's OK, and not.

She won't change because you ask (might), but in my experience manage how she pleases you. A bitch really want to please you if she wants to keep you (HumanSocketPuppet has a few guides).

Example, she cooks for you a good but unhealthy meal, and you are on to prime physique. Simply say, "It's good" and proceed to eat less then usual. You could add some reason, but what caught your lady's eye is the less then usual. She will know something is up, and if you don't direct her (leave hints, or specifically show her, depends on taste) she won't know how.

Next, when she does cook to your liking/direction, show you are pleased with her "Thanks" with extra attention.

You could do this for anything, want her to take up less of your time. Show that you have other things and be congruent in your behavior.

Turning into a long ass post, but bare with me.

Let's say she think she is worth medium effort with low yield. And you spend high effort with high yield on work/mission/gym. There will be some shit tests to see if you are willing to give any up for more medium effort low yield (get comfortable, more sex, food and netflix).

The natural next step for her hypergamy is to think she is worth more than your work/mission/gym and why would she be with someone lesser? Introducing more shit test, to see your fitness, because you failed at a fundamental level.

In short words, her frame will submit to yours - if you are high value - think you are high value - she thinks you are high value.

This is why we say women are the lagging indicator of success", they crave an apex man, like we crave porn and video games.

Get comfortable managing bitches and stop seeking validation from her. If you come from BP conditioning you are well primed to look for approval in women. Don't do that. It's not attractive.

I'm just putting all of this together from my own trp reading, and have some success of my own.

Title	Finding a balance in solitude? 27 year old recently moved back home after bottoming out.
Author	SoloSilk
Upvotes	9
Comments	7
Date	June 25, 2020 7:54 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/hfswdg/finding_a_balance_in_solitude_27_year_old/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/finding-a-balance-in-solitude-27-year-old-recently.699167 https://theredarchive.com/post/699167

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