Parenting, Motherhood, Pregnancy Mega-Thread - June 27, 2020

chickenpants80 · 2020-06-27T16:09:42+00:00

I'm now mom to a 15 year old boy and a 12 year old girl. I can definitely say that motherhood isn't always full of joy, even if your main life goal was to be a mom. The first year of motherhood is probably the hardest. It's exhausting, confusing, and frustrating at times. The loss of bodily autonomy can be incredibly difficult to adjust to - I was used to being able to sleep how much I wanted, eat what I wanted, and go where I wanted without planning. Recovery from delivery was painful. My 'birth plan' had to go right out the window due to medical complications and I was devastated.

But what I want to say is threefold: 1. Not being thrilled and full of joy all the time is TOTALLY OK, and it's totally NORMAL. No mom is perfect- or perfectly happy- from the beginning. 2. It's TOTALLY OK to ask for help. If someone asks how they can help you, let them! Accept offers of meals. Let a family member come do some housework for you. If a dear friend wants to come hold the baby while you have a bath or nap, let them. 3. Recognize the signs of postpartum depression, and make sure your family is educated as well. Often with PPD you don't realize how you're behaving outwardly and it's helpful to have others to say "I'm worried that you're struggling, because you're xyz." Please talk about how you're feeling to a professional, a mom's support group, or your loved ones. You are NOT A BAD MOM for needing help. You can take antidepressants that don't effect breastfeeding for a few months to help you get over the humps.

Your value as a woman and a mother is not determined by your ability to be perfectly happy, graceful, and competent at all times. Your value is in your heart, your commitment to doing the best you can, and your desire to love and teach and nurture this brand new human. You'll have sweet little faces, giggles, and soft baby skin on yours. You'll experience the joy in tissue boxes, putting socks on your head, and splashing in the water. You'll get kisses, big eyes looking at you in wonder, and shrieks of happiness when they see you.

You can do this, mamas. And IT GETS EASIER.

Sassers · 2020-06-28T03:30:19+00:00

To any new momma struggling... My son is almost 3 years old, and I still feel at times PPD is a long lasting thing. It's normal, PPD. Even if your situation isn't the same as mine, your past with depression battles... it's still normal, you aren't alone.
I've always had anxiety and mild depression, so maybe that has added to it, but most days are amazing and I'm happy and fine. But every now and again... it's a bad day and I feel like, "... I am a failure as a mother. He'd have been better off if I left him at a safe spit and disappeared from everyone." You're wrong. I always look back the next morning, thankful to wake up, thankful for my boy. Its a struggle, being a mom, and everything is a first. You're a first time mom, then a first time toddler mom, then a first time potty training mom, then first time EVERYTHING. First time even being a mom to two, or three, even. It is a constantly evolving job. But you can do this, you are capable and I promise you, these babies need YOU, no matter what your mind is telling you. YOU. Keep pushing through.

PR0N0IA · 2020-07-23T22:34:20+00:00

We want to start trying for a baby very soon. I make more money than my husband & my career path has greater earning potential (he’s very supportive of me so that hasn’t caused us any issues as he’s very secure in his masculinity).

We could theoretically live off of just my income & I also have the option of working from home in my current role (it’s common in my career even pre-covid as I’m in tech). Would it be weird for him to be a SAHD?

We do have a traditional relationship component where he’s the natural leader— it’s just I’m in such a high paying career that it wouldn’t make sense for me to stay home financially. Has this type of arrangement worked for anyone else?

Title	Parenting, Motherhood, Pregnancy Mega-Thread - June 27, 2020
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	3
Date	June 27, 2020 1:04 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/hgt5mb/parenting_motherhood_pregnancy_megathread_june_27/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/parenting-motherhood-pregnancy-mega-thread-june-27.699563 https://theredarchive.com/post/699563

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