With a specific girl in particular...just trying to understand this. I used to date her years ago, so she already knows me and from what I've been told by others I'm still her longest and deepest "relationship" my far. the passion was intense and the sex and everything was great. Since we broke up, she's only had casual and brief flings with passing guys. I now know several of these guys and am even friendly with one of them because we worked together recently. They, to be perfectly clear, are not high competition. They are not particularly great looking and do not really have a whole lot going for them in life. They act more like childish betas who still play video and computer games in their 20s, meanwhile I have a college degree and have a lot going good. (I'm not attacking them...in fact, they seem nice and cool from a bro perspective). But what I'm baffled by is how this girl will not even speak to me anymore (we had a rough falling out that was never resolved), despite me being a very in-shape athlete, taking great care of myself, winning in things, making great progress in life, and treating everyone around me well, etc. This girl (call her my ex if you wish) must see that from a distance but does not seem to care at all anymore.

Basically what I'm asking is, what is up with the psychology of a girl who chooses brief flings with guys lower in the hierarchy over a strong, masculine, dominant, high-energy guy like me? Everyone teaches that girls naturally will chase the strong alpha male. Well, this situation has been the opposite for me. This girl chooses weaker guys for short term friends with benefits situations. I just want to understand what is wrong with the mind of a girl who doesn't chase the alpha male, or if there is anything wrong at all. Is she simply afraid of deep love and attachment since her and I had that and it ended really badly?