I am 24 and my older brother is 31. He lives out of home and I still live at home. Anyway I lift, eat well, don't smoke and rarely drink, am fairly conservative and have good personal grooming and dress standards. Plus I generally enjoy interacting with people, be it random public people or friends.

My brother drinks 4-6 beers every day, and twice as much on weekends, smokes like half a pack a day, swears every 5th word, doesn't lift or eat healthy at all, has that sort of "my way or the highway" type attitude towards life, has a very short temper and his home is always really messy.

Basically my parents have always tried relentlessly to give him advice and guidance, and since they are 30 years older than him it is coming from a worthwhile place. Yet he never takes it on board. Always saying yes to making positive changes but going back to old ways after a week or two. Plus his partner is basically the same as him and the same age. They just seem to enjoy living life in this "barely getting by" mindset and It turns me right the fuck off.

Any time I say no to them for whatever reason, I am looked at like I said some kind of major personal insult, where as to me it is nothing more than a healthy boundary I set for myself.

Watching the stress he causes my parents and thinking about the stress he caused me growing up, I feel more inclined to stop trying to be close with him. He just always takes what I do or say as arrogance and it is ringing alarm bells in my head.

The older I become the more I feel I don't want to deal with or even pretend to deal with his bullshit anymore. But I still feel guilty about this feeling. Like it's not as if he has done anything unforgivable, more so this pattern of behavior that he demonstrates makes my fucking stomach drop whenever I try to put effort into his life.

Family is tricky man.