only read if you have some time, tried to keep it short but ended up being very long

Long story short; I am 30 and in a difficult situation and am discovering that a lot of it has to do with my being scared of time. Yes, time, which is why I would like some advice from YOU older MGTOWs who are happy/successfully or otherwise fulfilled in life. I will try to keep this as concise as possible but also want to give you context so you hopefully can understand the situation a bit and perhaps offer some advice.

I never went for the traditional career, but managed to become an expert in my field (in tech) and started three businesses. The first failed, the second did close to $3M/YR and was very profitable BUT I got ousted from the company, and literally went from making good money to zero.

I was out on the streets because all my savings were tied to the company and my girlfriend took me in, she was a total sweetheart believe it or not. But we eventually went our separate ways. Then corona hit and after my last (backed but failed business) I am pretty much lost and my confidence took hits.

During my 20s I gave up on many of life's pleasures because I was almost always working and/or learning new things. I managed to travel a bit, live abroad and all that stuff, but all in all I look back with tons of regrets, unfortunately, and that burden is becoming heavier every single day.

I only ever had three dreams in my life; to start and build a business I can be proud of and scale it to great heights, to travel for a year, and to write a book. But with corona hit and me having to rebuild myself entirely from scratch I am starting to think that maybe I should give up on those dreams.

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I looked for jobs BUT that is easier said than done in this economy. I might have an offer at one of the biggest corporates in the world, with a great reputation and good pay, but I am just scared shitless I will just keep on postponing the pursuit of my dreams, because I never wanted to work on those types of companies but also understand I need to be pragmatic.

I know you probably think by now, what a fucking millennial bitch this guy is; and I get that. However, I would say I'm pretty grounded due to my businesses and life experiences. I understand work is work, and it's going to suck, I practice martial arts, am disciplined and never one to complain at all.

But I just can't help the fact that I never fit in with the people who always wanted to climb the corporate ladder (nothing wrong with that BTW). I have always been the outsider in that regard and thus I am now totally lost because I am terrified that I will waste even more years of my life.

The older I'm getting, the more I realize EVERY MINUTE IS VALUABLE. I already have seen people close to me lose their lives still young, and I just get terrified that I might only have another decade left to make it work. It's now or never, cheesy as it might sound; at the same time the world is in the shitter right now.

Nonethless, I am often thinking, fuck it, maybe I should just give it one more go and bet on myself. I don't think I ever really did that to be honest. My downside is zero because I am at GROUND FLOOR right now, but my upside in theory is limitless.

Whereas going for the safe route might provide 'security' but I am conflicted and afraid that I can never get this voice in the back of my mind to shut up until I pursue my dreams and make them happen. I know to some of you that sounds stupid, but this has been my life for the last decade, and I have met COUNTLESS people who are successful business owners. Most are not better than me in any way shape or form, and some just got downright lucky. Still, the job offer lingers..

Yes, the money would be nice, it would be a learning experience, but it would still not create peace of mind for me personally. All in all, I realize that I am afraid of making difficult choices after failures and that time is slipping away regardless. Do you have any word of advice?

TLDR; going through a rough patch, after successes and failures contemplating to continue pursuing my dreams of go work at a safe job at a respectable company somewhere. meanwhile scared shitless realizing time is running out regardless.