I apologize for my bad English

Hello girls,

Yes, you read right. I do not want to be his pickmeisha for another five years. I broke up with him and told him how humiliated I felt and wished him the best. He replied with a heartwarming 'bruh', and I blocked the hell out of him.

I feel like a queen. I could not bear his lack of attention and affection any longer. I deserve better. I DO.

This dickhead wished happy birthday to another girl (he met her almost two years ago), but is effing incapable of remember mine. (This wasn't part of the argument, I just found out a few days ago, but didn't tell him). However, my gut tells me there's something going on. I don't know why, I just feel it.

Thanks to the quarantine I discovered his shit. He asked me for nudes, I sent him some, but I was uneasy. I'm not thrilled knowing that he has my photos, but thank God they were very vanilla. Anyways, everyday he asked me for nudes and I told him 'No, babe. Give me some days', and he was like 'ok' and tried to 'bribe' me with his own damn nudes. I wasn't interested. I missed him so much, I wanted to be tucked in by the sound of his voice. Yes, I missed his touch, but I wanted emotional intimacy and I told him. I also told him to give me more time because this was my first time taking nudes. I wanted to do it, but at my own pace and he didn't respect that.

He also knows that my father and I lost our jobs due to this whole Covid-19 situation, and how that affects my emotional stability so I was moody or sad some days. It's a huge pressure knowing that my family counts on me, especially my father who has a disability. I needed his support and he needed to fap with my tits. He helped a lot, but I don't what happened.

He didn't respect my wishes and tried to guilt trip me about it. He was so manipulative, saying that he was leaving, and guess what? I effing left him.

I was feeling like I wasn't good enough, but nah, I'm fine. He's an insensitive scrote.

I already wasted 6 years of my live with this dude. One whole ass year in love with him before he noticed me.

I need to move on.

Do you have any advice. When we used to argued, I just blocked him, but felt guilty. I don't want to feel guilty. I do not want to crawl back to him. Please. I'm going to rehab for being a pickmeisha. I need to work on myself.

Since this was my first everything, how do I deal with the pain?

Thanks for reading.

This is for me, but feel to repeat it with me:

I am beautiful.

I deserve to feel loved everyday by a good, thoughtful man.

I deserve to be worshiped as the goddess I am.

I deserve so much better.

I AM WORTHY OF LOVE.

I WILL BE LOVED.

Hold on tight, girl, and as Martha Walsh says: carry on.