I met my boyfriend last year and we have been dating for quite a while now. He's in his mid twenties and for his entire adulthood, he has been living at home and working retail. Going to school for this thing and that was just talk, he didn't really know what he wanted to do with his life. Now he's actually serious about going back to school and establishing a career. He has been working at the same retail place for YEARS and all of a sudden says he wants something better for himself. This is after years of doing the same thing day after day. I'm really happy for him, but I'm terrified that he's going to leave me when he becomes successful. Again, he's in his mid-twenties and pretty much worked full time and honestly hasn't done much with his life. I'm his friend serious girlfriend he has taken home to his parents and whatnot.

I know the nature of men from experience, and once they go from zero to one hundred, they feel entitled to a better girlfriend. I don't want to believe it will be like this. He's so mellow, and quiet. He's never been boisterous, grandiose or shown any signs of being self absorbed like a lot of guys. He truly is his own person, and its one of the things I like about him. He comes from a stable family, he loves and cares for everyone close to him including me. He just got me really nice presents for my birthday and he constantly wants to come hang out with me. He always brings me flowers and snacks I like. At first he wasn't very HVM, but I am his first gf and he's honestly been better. We had a couple issues we communicated and with the help of FDS tips, things have gotten better. But I know I can't let that fool me.

I did nothing to build him. After years of toxic relationships, I knew in this relationship to stay in the background and not try to help. I never EVER suggested he go back to school or anything. I never said anything to him about his life aside from asking if he had plans when it came up in conversation. He completely initiated the idea of going back to school on his own. The only thing I push him to do is to eat healthier because I want to live a long healthy life with him, but I never comment on his career or finances or anything. The old me would believe that me being a go-getter would have rubbed off on him but men always have selfish, ulterior motives deep down inside. I had a career established for years now, I live on my own and my free time is consumed in productive hobbies so I don't behave like an overly clingy pickme. I let him initiate hanging out with me. I go away for days without him with my friends. I'm in the best shape of my life, this is the easiest time I've had dealing with depression for the first time ever. I feel like I've done everything as right as I can so far in my life and my relationship. It's such a nagging feeling taking over me though, that he's going to turn on me.

Part of me wants to pull away from him because deep down inside I'm so afraid that I'm the placeholder girlfriend and now that he "got me" he's confident enough to become successful and get with the women he actually desires. I honestly think I am going to pull away and just focus on myself even more right now before I waste more time just to go through what I did with the last boyfriends. Maybe I'm mistaking mellow and chill boyfriend for unconfidence? I went through a similar situation 4 years ago that left me so traumatized. I was much more of a pickme though, but long story short I had a bf who was super loving, attentive, wanted to be around me all the time then abandoned me when he got an apartment with the guys. However, I ignored a lot of red flags that my bf now doesn't have. At the same time, I'm afraid I am dating the same douchebag packaged differently.

I know you should never date a guy who isn't established. Although he is not the typical "established" I find that he has always been very stable as far as his life goes. He seemed content with where he was at and thought maybe it would be different. He's always been a good money saver, has had the same job for YEARS, he's very mentally stable. It's just now all of a sudden after a year he decided he wants to level up out of the blue and I'm so scared he's gonna get bored with me. I've been burned too much to see it any other way. Would love to hear some brutal FDS insight