I am in a relationship that I am utterly trapped in; I never wanted the relationship and did it out of guilt. The guilt came from the fact that I unknowingly gave my plate Herpes (friendly reminder to everyone to wrap up... even when getting a blowjob from some random hoe, that’s how I got it, couldn't even see the coldsore) afterwards I thought I had permanently ruined her life and so got into a relationship with her as a kind of apology? At least that’s what I tell myself but the reality is I'm probably with her because she's the only girl I'm gonna be able to rawdog for the rest of my life. The relationship itself is good, I had been plating her for around a year before I LTRed her. We get on very well; she has a crazy high libido and will literally beg to suck my dick every morning. The sex is good; she has great tits although they're not quite as perfect as they used to be. You may be wondering why I want out of it so badly and the reason is... she's a used up slut, she has slept with 20 people and she's only 21 and for whatever reason this disgusts me to no end. This isn't some inferiority complex either because I have a higher number count than her but still it eats away at me constantly. The filthy shit she's done with random strangers she'd met only minutes before is beyond belief; I fear for the world if this level of filth is considered normal now. Only one of those people that she fucked was in an LTR with her, the rest were filthy ONS's; she is the type of girl to get fucked by two different lads in a night and not even wash in-between. She doesn't act slutty now, she is very respectful, won't even speak to another guy at east when I'm with her. This however does not change the fact that she is not LTR material in any way, she is the fucking antithesis of LTR material and its gone to the point where these thoughts are effecting my day to day life, I find it had to study, hard to focus on anything because I am constantly being bombarded with thoughts about how much of a filthy worthless whore she is. I feel ashamed of myself for even being with her and under normal circumstances I NEVER would have but life had to royally fuck me over. Every time I'm on the verge of fucking her off I get this little voice in my head telling me that I'm throwing away my only chance at unprotected sex for the rest of my life. Yeah I can fuck some sluts with condoms and indeed I have been doing but it’s just not the same, I wanna feel a tight vagina around my dick not a piece of lubed up plastic. How is it even possible to have an abundance mentality when there is only one fucking girl on the planet that you'll ever be able to fuck like nature intended? I wish things were different, I wish she wasn't a slut or I wish I’d have accidentally infected a better suited female with Herpes; hell I wish I never got Herpes at all but I'm powerless to change the past. I am starting to think that I am one of the unluckiest people on the earth, a trait I inherited from my father, it’s like there’s some fucked up curse on the family. Anyway back to the main topic, I only have one option... I need to get rid of her, the thoughts have become too much now and I can't let them effect my studies but fuck man I'm gonna have to throw away my sexual gratification for the rest of my life. If anyone wants to give me some advice I'd be grateful but in this situation I have two options: bad and worse.