Overcoming abuse

hecate9 · 2017-06-08T19:38:54+00:00

I've had similar issues in my past. I had to go into therapy to deal with issues after being in 2 relationships with narcissistic, emotionally abusive men.

It's possible you used to date men with narcissistic personality disorder or another personality disorder, like borderline, as a lot of abusive men fit this profile. Empathetic, sensitive people tend to attract their opposite- narcissists. I would expect many women on this board to have feminine qualities and to be empathetic and sensitive. Sensitive, kind people tend to attract their opposites- selfish, self-centered people. The 2 tend to be compatible in that way, where one just gives and gives and the other takes and takes. These kind of relationships can start off okay when hormones/attraction is high, when you're over eager and you're bending over backwards to make it work, etc, but over time, it is not sustainable and causes a lot of psychological damage to the person doing all the giving.

And you don't have to be "damaged goods" to have had relationships like this. I come from a good family/background, don't have daddy issues, etc, but I was very naive and had self-esteem & body image issues, was too trusting, etc. I attracted very horrible partners because they picked up on my vulnerability and naïveté. For a long time, I felt ashamed of my relationships, and thought I had to be broken or dysfunctional to have such people in my life. Then after I went to therapy, I learned this was a pretty common thing (emotional abuse is far more common than physical abuse), that it's not my fault, and that as long as I learned lessons from the experience, I don't have to regret the experience or let it define me. Therapy also helped to me to learn how to select better partners, pace myself early in relationships, look for red flags, and so on.

I would suggest you go into therapy if your past is hurting your current relationship. Your partner doesn't deserve to be punished for the sins of other men. You should always be vigilant and don't ever let yourself get blinded by infatuation and delusion, but also do not let your past jeopardize your current and future happiness.

HisHumbleDarling · 2017-06-09T04:14:17+00:00

It's very common to feel permanently wounded as well as distrusting of a good man when you've been abused. You're pushing away your Captain to protect yourself and you subconsciously feel like you aren't good enough for love. I'm happy he's patient but that won't last forever. Find a therapist who specializes in abuse recovery

Metalageddon · 2017-06-08T19:34:32+00:00

a abusive relationship

How so?

It's hard to give up control... When it has hurt me in the past

Yes. It is, but is this fair? Your current captain isn't your ex is he? Maybe you need to work on you a bit before trying to be fair to him.

You won't like those bullet points, but it's not about me disrespecting you, I definitely understand serious, brutal, consistent abuse. I will never make light of it, and I honestly hope this is more misconception than actuality.

TheSelfGoverned · 2017-06-11T22:00:15+00:00

Try MDMA and mushrooms. LSD also greatly helps with past trauma, but I find it weakens long term memory as well. The first two have no negative long term side effects, when taken in proper dosages.

/R/psychonaut

Overcoming abuse

Comments

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder

Title	Overcoming abuse
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	16
Date	June 8, 2017 6:41 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6g2wc4/overcoming_abuse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/overcoming-abuse.72946 https://theredarchive.com/post/72946