Title says most of the post, but some more background context to help people understand.

Essentially left me because our sex life plummeted from almost every day to maybe once a week. I struggle with ED and porn addiction and it made it hard by the end of the relationship for me to get interested in her. Now I am in such a shit place mentally that no matter how much I try to move on and ignore the porn and her, I just keep circling back to this state of stress eating and jerking off 3-5 times a day.

I’ve been reading a bit of RP material from sidebar and I’ve started trying to lift 6 times a week (for three months now on and off). I’ve been trying to throw myself into my studies but as soon as I go to my part time job (mind numbingly dull and unstimulating) I end up getting anxiety thinking about what the ex is up to as I know she’s prone to jumping on the CC (had slept with 30+ guys by the time she was 18).

Still have her on socials and message her frequently (always me engaging conversation, though have managed to go a week without doing so recently), but don’t have the balls to fucking ghost her cause my psyche is so damaged.

I just want this fucking dogshit state of mind to go away but honestly have no idea about how to approach it at all. Any suggestions about what to do?

TLDR; I’m a depressed, anxious beta who can’t stop jerking off and thinking about who my ex is underneath today.