THIS is why I don't go out - I should've done more to protect my best friend from her abusive boyfriend

RetiredLabRat · 2018-07-11T18:16:16+00:00

You did the right thing by removing both of you from the situation.

I've been in a verbally and physically abusive relationship. Sometimes women are blind and deluded (I was once myself) and believe they either brought this upon themselves, this how "passionate" relationships are supposed to work, or genuine fear of the ramifications of a break-up. If he does that in public, what does he do behind closed doors?

If she continues to see him, which will most likely happen, keep an eye and ear out. Victims of abuse will often hide evidence of abuse because they don't want family and friends to tell them to end the relationship.

If you notice an escalation in this behavior CONTACT SOMEONE. Sometimes it does get to the point of needing an intervention OR people removing her safely so he does not come after he. She may even need a place to stay.

That being said, don't let this instill fear in you of going out and meeting people. Just don't go out with this crowd. She will probably brush it off and try to convince you to come out again. DO NOT DO THIS. Tell her, adamantly, that he makes you extremely uncomfortable.

I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted.

dancinginwaves · 2018-07-11T07:32:43+00:00

unfortunately you can’t really do as much as i know you want to. from experience the best thing you can do is just be her friend and don’t bring it up unless she does, ESPECIALLY if she gets back together with him. she’s much more likely to tell you things if she doesn’t think you’ll judge her and you definitely want to keep the lines of communication open.

i definitely wouldn’t tell her mom but if you want to have a conversation with her about it i’d say it once and then leave it alone. i hope she gets out of there!

MentORPHEUS · 2018-07-11T20:09:07+00:00

I've had decades to watch these situations play out.

Intervening in a domestic fight is a great way to find yourself under attack by BOTH parties!
She is highly likely to get back with him or someone just like him. It takes sheer dint of HER willpower to break this pattern. There was just someone elsewhere on Reddit who finally gave up on a friend after over 10 years of propping her up through abusive relationship after abusive relationship, only to start yet another relationship with the exact same kind of guy.
Don't YOU stop going out with friends over this... just THAT friend.
Rule of power #10 avoid the unhappy and unlucky lest you be dragged to their level.
Try to develop friends whose idea of an evening out doesn't include bars.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2018-07-12T00:05:03+00:00

If you try to fight the relationship he will convince her to cut you off. Don’t try to talk her out of anything, just be a listening ear and wait for her to bring it up.

If you can’t do that she will stop being your friend.

CalvinRichland · 2018-07-11T15:38:51+00:00

You can't fix people like this. Stay away from the drama so he only kills her and not you too. She is choosing this.

pame12 · 2018-07-11T12:58:29+00:00

Something else might have been going on in the background (e.g. they had a fight prior or he was pissed at her for doing something wrong that is irrelevant to the current situation) and that "where did my friends go" event just happened to be the loose brick.

Title	THIS is why I don't go out - I should've done more to protect my best friend from her abusive boyfriend
Author	RRDF0223
Upvotes	2
Comments	11
Date	July 11, 2018 7:10 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/8xxh08/this_is_why_i_dont_go_out_i_shouldve_done_more_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/this-is-why-i-dont-go-out-i-shouldve-done-more-to.74917 https://theredarchive.com/post/74917

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