In need of sex advice (F25)

jew-jips-yu · 2018-11-18T20:53:34+00:00

The other poster (Zegiknie) is a rare case. You are going to have a hard time finding a quality man that also is OK sharing you. That's cuckoldry territory. I suggest either keeping your fantasies fantasies or getting them out of your system now before dating anyone serious. Going into a relationship with the idea that you are not 100% devoted to each other is grounds for it to fall apart. In a rare situation maybe 10 years into the relationship you can work out a swing/share thing if your libidos are off, but a quality man is not going to be OK with that straight out the gate, if you are the high sex drive one.

merel-- · 2018-11-18T23:14:23+00:00

I totally get where you are coming from! I'm also into the idea of swinging and threesomes, especially the thought of my partner having sex with other girls turns me on very much.

Maybe openness to new experiences might be a thing that you should vet for in a future partner? A good thing is ask them to go to a restaurant with food they never tried or go to a concert with music they never really listened to, if they are enthusiastic about trying new things outside the bedroom they might also be enthusiastic about trying new things inside the bedroom!

Zegiknie · 2018-11-18T19:12:28+00:00

We have a one-sided open marriage. I'm fine with it if he seeks sex (just sex, mind, not affairs) elsewhere. As long as he is safe/healthy, discreet, and not doing it at the expense of our relationship/family. He's not fine with it if I do the same, only I don't have the urge, so we're cool. Our sexlife at home is also... well, not average.

We don't tell people this - it sounds so extreme right? But we're happy (and have been for nearly 13 years), it works. Looking outside, you'd probably never guess it. Happy family, 2 kids, quiet clean cut types, traditional breadwinner/housewife.

I brought this up a couple of years in, after learning how profoundly different our sex responses were. Also after he showed his contempt for how someone we knew messed up his open relationship. I realised I could trust him with this liberty, so I told him that. It's not a kink of mine, just that I'm not so insecure anymore that I demand his sexual fidelity. I just demand his love (and all the resources :-p).

If you want these things, I'm positive it should be possible. Lots of people have kinks, you don't have to walk around in a gimp suit during day time.

Best would be, if you were flexible. So, if this is a dealbreaker for you, I guess it's easiest to be upfront and use online dating. Both about your relationship ideals and your sexual ideals.

If it isn't a dealbreaker, just find someone awesome and let him take the lead/make clear your limits haven't been reached yet, that you're open to more suggestions. Sometimes you discover your sexuality together (we did, I'd never have agreed to some of the things we do, beforehand - nor he).

Your fear that you might attract the "wrong kind of man" implies that you have some hang-ups about this. Perhaps you have some religious guilt toward your own sexuality? A man can be extreme in his sexuality and very steadfast and wholesome outside the bedroom (I know several like this). Same for a woman.

Title	In need of sex advice (F25)
Author	sk95x
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	November 18, 2018 6:46 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/9y8inb/in_need_of_sex_advice_f25/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/in-need-of-sex-advice-f25.75351 https://theredarchive.com/post/75351

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