Some time now has passed since I got dumped, and I was finally able to look back on my relationship with clarity, and see just how wrong and bad for me it was.

Some of the things that happened
-4x a week she would wail cry like a parent losing their child because I didn't hug her long enough
Texted her ex early on in the relationship and lied about it
told me it was selfish to want time to myself (an hour a day for example)
stopped my from being able to focus on my passion(I haven't gotten into it yet, but that's because I'm preparing. I'm so excited to really dive back into it)
Constantly accused me of not loving her as much, because I would want to stop cuddling after 4 hours
Was incredibly co-dependent
Only I would be the one to make trips to see her (weekly) since we were long distance, multiple hour drive.

There's lots more stuff, lots more, and granted, she made me feel incredibly loved at times, but looking back I now see that she never really loved me, she only loved the fact that I loved her.

I gained 50 lbs during that relationship from stress and not being able to sleep (constantly staying up till 3am to calm her down then having to get up at 7 for work) She refused to cook, and only ate takeout, so that's what my diet became. Before we had started dating I was going to the gym and had lost 25 lbs.

So now I have the time to truly focus on myself, I haven't started weight loss yet since I've really only come to terms and realized everything maybe a week ago, but I'm going into it now, going to put my time into my passion, and come out amazing. The biggest fear I have now though is lots of loose skin, because of this rapid weight gain of 50lbs in a year it's given me lots of stretch marks.

I've got good savings, a great job, and all the time in the world to accomplish what I want, no more having to give up my dream just so I can be with somebody.