Any advice on getting out of the house and talking to real people? Sick of being an antisocial cave creature.

dammit_redskins · 2016-10-31T15:57:24+00:00

Get out of "monk mode". I don't understand why people advocate this, it's so stupid. The longer you spend secluded the harder it will be to come back and be sociable again.

I get that you are focusing on yourself or whatever but it just seems like a lame excuse to avoid your fears or anxiety or feelings of not being comfortable. You can do both. You can work on yourself while making friends and talking to girls. Actually doing both will help you with time management skills and help you better prioritize your life.

You can meet people at work, clubs or organizations, charity events, and bars once you are 21. Join an intramural sport once you recover, just something casual. Until then join a club that doesn't involve sports.

MattyAnon · 2016-10-31T14:56:33+00:00

I can still interact with people, but it just feels fucking awkward and uncomfortable, like Im no longer used to it

Most people have this with strangers. It's easier when you know people.

Practice and experience are the main cures - get some!

[deleted] · 2016-10-31T15:36:21+00:00

Do you have a job? If not, get one. I would suggest waiting tables if you don't have a better option, you'll be surrounded by people in your age group, and will be forced to interact with customers. Not sure the extent of your injury, but get off of your ass and do something. No offense but these types of questions are silly, there's no secret answer here. Question: "How do I do X, Y, or Z?" Answer: "Go do X, Y, or Z".

desno · 2016-10-31T23:47:21+00:00

Dance classes? Salsa dancing? Or is that to much strain on the body? Im guessing you're from US so bars are out of the question. Your best bet is doing the GLL approach anxiety course. If you have bundles of time, and are willing to get out of your comfort zone, this exactly how you would want to approach it.

pfc1 · 2016-10-31T15:44:55+00:00

If you're been in full on monk mode and sports are still a no go you didn't get in good enough shape. Anyone can jog around a kick a soccer ball with a few girls on their coed team. It's a start. Do it. Try to befriend one guy more than the rest that you share commonalities with, but is also ahead of you so you have someone to catch up to. edit* sorry didn't you read you got injured at first.

Work on outcome independent social interactions, ones that you know will net you nothing other than social interaction. The cashier, the watress, and the gym rat. Just be like, bro you are killing it how did you get so big. He will give a non sense answer because he doesn't give a shit, cool. Whatever, fist bump and move on. Or he totally open up about his routine, take mental notes and just wrap it up with a , dude that's awesome. And go about your workout because he wants to as well. Over time you say you were working on something he talked about but you had a question about the diet or form. Over time he becomes an acquaintance you see on a regular basis. Pursue enough hobbies or interests that you have a book of acquaintances. Just remember that striking out up with a complete stranger in line for the bathroom is no different than saying something to that cute girl you don't know. Over time your anxiety and nerves will disappear.

Sooner or later you are going to make a real friend and get invited to his friend shit. You have leveled up, Social circle +1. Repeat. Go out on a date in the future, happen to run into acquaintances.. Social proof +1. Etc.

Honestly I've been in the deepest black holes of depression, recently clawing out of another. No one is yoda 24/7. I've taken well butrin for ADD for a short time, and it didn't work but I smiled more, seemed more open to being approached and felt like approaching anyone factors more than my real self felt like. You can easily get a script of you want to try it, virtually no side effects aside from being more sociable. This section is not TRP endorsed at all but depression is real and that medication works.

Just remember, the first time a new acquaintance invites you to something and you puss out, you just wasted all past effort and burned a bridge. They'll still talk to you but you're off the list now. Apply that rule to others in your life too, cut the fat when need be.

[deleted] · 2016-10-31T15:59:33+00:00

try meetup

Lumby · 2016-10-31T22:28:01+00:00

I like to hang out in cafes and read or work on a project on my laptop. It's a nice way to be productive by yourself but still have plenty of opportunities to meet cool people.

If you do this often enough at the same place you can start to be more friendly with the staff and regulars.

SadGenius · 2016-10-31T09:31:43+00:00

19? I would actually take out another year in monk mode to read skill books and maintain your body.

Read some books that teach you skills or further your knowledge on a topic of your choice although you should lean towards stuff you think you might want to use in your career.

Wanting to socialize is natural and important, though id take the chance that you are recovering and in monk mode to double down on that and your life will be much easier for you.

Remember socializing is important, but preparing for the future is a boring annoying thing that if its done soon, will make the rest of your life much easier.

If you get laid, i would even recommend you fill out your social needs to people in the gym, tinder sluts and pc communities.

Good luck.

Title	Any advice on getting out of the house and talking to real people? Sick of being an antisocial cave creature.
Author	RP3Throwaway
Upvotes	13
Comments	10
Date	October 31, 2016 8:35 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5ab6w6/any_advice_on_getting_out_of_the_house_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/any-advice-on-getting-out-of-the-house-and-talking.76880 https://theredarchive.com/post/76880

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