I think you may want to see this

I would post this on r/MensLib but they don't do personal stuff.

So here's the rub. I am a 19M and come from a relatively conservative family (though I am a liberal). I worry that I am not man enough a lot. I am a vegan for ethical reasons, I have listened to music from people like Swift, I have secretly enjoyed rom coms, I am trying to get new clothes because I am insecure about appearance, etc. Traditionally this stuff is considered more feminine than masculine. I want to be more traditionally masculine in the sense that I want to think of myself as a man and want to feel that I deserve to be called a man. I have 0 problem if other men want to do this stuff, you're a man if you feel you are after all, but I feel like I have to earn it in order to say it and to honestly feel it. However, I also recognize the tremendous damage traditional gender roles has done to people and how it has contribute to widespread societal misogyny. Like the idea that men are always out for sex and should dominate leads to sexual harassment and at its worse sexual violence which is obviously horrendous.

I want to be more traditionally masculine in the positive sense, i.e. more physically strong, confident, protective, capable of providing, a leader, etc not in the sense of like treating women like objects or being a womanizer. More Steve Rogers than james bond if that makes sense.

However, I wonder if I can still be masculine in the traditional sense without contributing to misogyny. I don't want to be misogynistic and I worry that worrying I am too feminine is inherently bigoted and sexist. There's nothing wrong with being feminine I just don't want to be. Is such thinking sexist? Am I being misogynistic? Can I be more "masculine" without contributing to sexism? I'm trying to figure out what it means to be a man and who I should be. So sorry if I am those things I said, I am genuinely trying to learn and improve.