How to stop being so naive?

BPasFuck · 2021-05-29T15:14:39+00:00

After clicking on your account, Sitch, I have no doubt believing you have ADHD.

You're all over the place, and seem to be obsessively focused on supplements, self-improvement, and frustrated that the results aren't immediate.

Calm yourself. I imagine a portion of the disrespect you might be feeling in your day-to-day life is the result of other people acting out in relief.

Here's how it might be for your worst offenders: In their minds, here you are-- expending all this effort at self-improvement and you're still just their employee. Still just their co-worker. Still just someone they can fuck with. Makes them feel better about their circumstances.

Not much you can realistically do about that, in the short term. It is what it is. These are the relationships that have formed around you.

But I have good news-- as long as you be patient, stay the course, and be ready to seize your moments when they come, you will soon leave these people behind you.

Whatever your job is with these people, I doubt it's one you plan to hold forever. So, fuck these guys. This is a learning experience, hopefully you have some idea what not to do next time you're the new fish at some other job.

I suspect you may have already done some of this, but a reminder won't hurt:

Sit down and write with a pen and paper some kind of a five year plan. Where you want to be, and what you want to be doing five years from now.

Why sit down and write? Because it's going to force you to slow down and think about this shit.

Work your way backwards. If your five year plan is realistic, you will be able to identify things that have to happen, in order for you to get there. Steps 9, 8, 7, 6, etc.

Break the shit down. Short, easy, obtainable, concrete milestones that will get you from A-to-Z on this 5 year plan. Force yourself to do it.

By the end of the exercise, you will have identified a few things you could start doing tomorrow, or the next week, or the next month, that will move you down the path to something better, whether it's a job goal, life goal, whatever. You will also have forced yourself to slow down and take a longer approach to things. Feel free to burn the paper or destroy it. It's basically done its job, and your goals will be changing over the course of time any way.

Going back to your post history-- you seem like a handsome, fit, and relatively intelligent young man. Christ. You're going to be fine. Near as I can tell, you are way ahead of where so many others were at your age.

Focus, and realize: These people trying to fuck with you and hold you down are acting out of their own weakness. In time, if you stay on track, you will be far beyond them. They will become alcoholics. Frustrated drug addicts. Divorce raped drones. Unhappy chronic masturbators.

So, in conclusion-- most of your troubles so far seem to be in your head. Calm down. Sort your self out on the course of your immediate future. And get there. Execute. Be ready when your moment comes. Moments come all the time. Losers are too busy fretting and fucking around to realize it.

cluelessguitarist · 2021-05-29T15:12:18+00:00

Probably with age , after getting burned a few times by being naive, comes with time no need to hurry.

Inertia_Override · 2021-05-30T07:04:16+00:00

Purposely start the day with the intention of disagreeing with everyone and nothing is okay. Do it a few times to shake the agreeableness out of your system.

matan6663 · 2021-05-29T14:52:42+00:00

Start setting your own boundaries, and keeping your own word for yourself. Maybe developing a good habit, lifting in regular basis, eating healthy and counting calories. And keeping your promises. If you have high self respect other will just follow along.

RichieTheWise · 2021-05-29T16:44:14+00:00

Reflect back everytime when it happens and ask yourself why you were naïve, what you were being naïve about and how that gave other people the stick to hit you on the head with. With time you will start recognizing the patterns and you can eliminate them slowly. You need to also practise with setting boundaries, start small and keep expanding it. I don't know your pitfalls or places you need to focus on, but you do.

And a general tip that has worked for me is to prepare well for uncertain situations, read into things carefully. Chances are you are being uncareful and this makes people uneasy around you, because they can't depend on you, so they start pushing your buttons to see if they can fuck with you.

Inevitable_Gain_7456 · 2021-05-29T16:45:59+00:00

Assume the opposite of Hanlon's Razor but still hang around these people.

IHaveSalesQuestions · 2021-05-30T04:04:17+00:00

Read When I Say No I Feel Guilty.

Title	How to stop being so naive?
Author	Sitchnatio
Upvotes	20
Comments	28
Date	May 29, 2021 2:06 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/nno6o1/how_to_stop_being_so_naive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-stop-being-so-naive.774585 https://theredarchive.com/post/774585

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