Context, I'm 25, shes 23, we both have been together just under a year, been great so far
She's moved away to college far away to do her masters while I'm stuck in London - so far the distance hasn't been too much of a problem as we've been in lockdown anyway so it probably doesn't feel that different and we're used to being away from each other.
Anyway, I started a new job two months ago and I'm quite depressed about - clinically - the job isnt for me, I keep fucking up, making mistakes, the skills required don't align (the job was a catfish, basically not how they described it) - the moneys decent for someone who hasnt had a fulltime job before but I am eternally depressed, I go to bed with dread, I can't sleep due to anxiety, I'm experiencing subtle racism from my workplace too - I feel suicidal at times and life just feels pointless
I've expressed this to my girlfriend a few times now - i think shes getting sick of my moaning - she tells me I should just leave like it's easy, I tell her money is the reason why I'm staying and she keeps saying that's a silly reason, if you're depressed, you're depressed and I gotta put myself first - which I agree with, but these bills need paying.
I feel as though she is a lot more privileged than I am, having come from money, her family owns houses in multiple countries and she generally has a good support system. She isn't fuck off rich, she's working class but her family has worked hard over the years and she has a big family who she can rely on for help. I virtually have noone in my life to fall back on or even talk to for support (which is probably why i pour my heart out at her a lot)
I know my GF shouldn't be my therapist but I dont know what to do. She's right, but she's severely underestimating how hard the choice of quitting this job is
I should mention I dont have that many bills, I live at home, don't pay rent, if I quit today I could probably survive for about 3-4 months without income, but the job market is looking very shaky right now.
this turned into more of a careers post than a relationship post but yeah id want people to chime in...thanks
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