So the context of this question is a girl I've been dating for a few weeks now, but I'm interested in starting a discussion.

I've always been a believer that a woman will take an asshole over a beta, but she'll take someone who is assertive and knows how to take charge over both.

To what extent is treating a woman badly conducive to positive outcomes? I like engaging with a woman I'm interested in. I like having an intelligent discussion. I can tease her and make fun of her but I find being a genuine prick a little awkward, it's not really me.

To reference my example, I get on extremely well with this girl. It's been a while since I've received so much intense interest. It's going well. She likes texting and I don't mind texting back and having a conversation with her.

When we're in bed however, I take complete control. I throw her around, I pull her hair, I choke her, I slap her. I tell her what a good girl she is and she fucking loves it.

But I find it a little counter-intuitive not being able to sit down and enjoy myself and treat her like an equal. I'm not interested in dating brain-dead whores to pump-and-dump. I don't mind a little conversation and mental stimulation.

Is this balance conducive to maintaining interest? Or does not being colder with this chick in settings besides sex risk her losing interest? Thanks.