I have nothing to say. I realized I can't be a part of society like this. How exactly can I change myself?

Eyeswears · 2016-12-02T06:16:29+00:00

Practical tips are just as useful as philosophical maps. In my experience, the thing people pay 90% of their attention to is your state of being, i.e. how relaxed you are, how confident your behavior is, how your healthy your body is, and how guided you are by a central mission.
Lift. Build a body which showcases your character: consistency, discipline, courage, vision, strength, attention to detail, self-respect.
Don't do steady state cardio, do HIIT. SSC is chronic stress, while HIIT is the kick in the ass which leads to greater improvement. You know why running is so popular? Because it's ridiculously easy and unintimidating. Going from 0-100 on the flip of a switch is fucking exhausting and calls attention to you if you have to do it in a public space. Most people are completely incapable of wringing out all of their potential in a great, concerted effort. Most people will die not having reached their full potential. I believe if you practice HIIT and regularly make yourself "leave everything on the field", you'll be a lot closer to realizing your potential in other aspects of life. Giving everything you have to any endeavor on a regular basis is crucial for self-respect and growth. If you 1. know what you want, 2. commit to doing it, and 3. give 100% to doing it, you will be on your way. You may later decide A is not worth giving 100% or even 90% of your abilities, but if you decide that before having tried at all, there is a good chance you came to that conclusion out of fear or laziness. HIIT is just a microcosm of life.
The small things are the little things: we all want to be prepared for the big moments, but there are 100x more small moments than big moments.
Stop masturbating and watching porn. Just commit to not touching your dick at all if you can absolutely help it. Just a single little touch at the right time can send you spiraling into a primal heat.
Don't consume information because you feel "obligated" to.
Find the things that make you really excited about their possibilities but also really nervous and make yourself hellbent on accomplishing them. For me that was asking a girl out and trying to get in touch with my half-brother.
When you want to get something done at a high level and with high focus, use a fasted state to get it done. The optimal level for me is at night with 10+ fasted hours behind me. Your break-fast will return your body to a very relaxed and satisfied parasympathetic state.
No video games. They waste your natural propensity to solve problems and compete in fake worlds. If you get real world value out of it, go for it. No matter what anyone says, you are ultimately the one who has the final say. And no matter how much you read and feel good about knowing "where to start", unless you put the work into your own life, you won't solve the problem.
No fictional material. It replaces your natural desire to learn the stories of other people and craft your own life narrative with the whims of others.
If you're of the view that 99% of all humans that ever lived would kill to be living in our era, with practically infinite access to human needs and luxuries, and a good life is ultimately one which is filled with more pleasure than pain, feel free to indulge in hedonism. I fully understand the logic and the hedonists are probably the smartest ones out of all of us but I can't bring myself to personally give up on the larger "challenges" of life. To each his own.
Meditate with mindfulness. Focus your attention on the nuances of your sensory perceptions like the breeze on your skin, or the cotton T-shirt on your chest, or the breath coming into and out of your body. Don't try to suppress thoughts, that's impossible. But rather, ground yourself in the tangible realities of your present world. Live "in the moment" so to say. It's good training to actually do so when you want to in the "bigger" moments.
We don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.
Get plenty of sleep.

TheInkerman · 2016-12-02T05:56:15+00:00

Should I just do those practices, talk to more people, "trust the process" and wait until problem fixes itself?

You're way overthinking it. Most of the time in general conversation (other situations it may vary) you don't want to be 'putting into' the conversation; you're just filling the conversation with your shit (life, opinions, etc), when 9 times out of 10 the other person doesn't super care, but wants to put their shit in the conversation. Humans get a direct boost of dopamine when they talk about themselves, and the more they're able to talk about themselves with someone, the more they'll enjoy being around that person (to a point). What you have to do is be able to ask good questions. Especially with girls, you can get away saying literally nothing about yourself with a girl just by asking questions and making mild comments on her answers.

There's a more advanced technique of creating that kind of conversation 'dependence', and then pulling back on the questions, making them 'chase' your attention, but that's not really your problem.

Obviously the issue is that people (men, especially) overdo the question thing and become doormats rather than sounding boards for other people. You essentially need to create a conversation where people can talk about themselves/their interests, without having to 'pull' it out of them. If you're having to do that, they're not interested in talking to you.

Now while most people want to talk about themselves, they don't want to talk about themselves all the time. This is where you employ 'passive' interests about your life, and to some extent build SMV. As a guy you need hobbies and interests (other than your work and other than lifting). When people ask about your hobbies, interests, etc, rather than then try and pump in all your shit with your stories and whatever crap, answer straightforwardly, don't go into detail unless they ask, etc, just keep it simple. Let them 'pull' that information out of you (although don't be withdrawn about it, you should want to talk about this stuff because it's your interests. The key is to 'let' them pull it out of you). You won't really need skill in 'stories' or whatever, because you'll be responding to their questions. At some point they will probably pivot back to talking about themselves, and you're back at asking them questions, getting them to talk, etc.

Painbubble · 2016-12-02T21:49:09+00:00

I understand this and relate. Somebody asked me the other day "What makes you happy in life?". I couldn't answer them.

Title	I have nothing to say. I realized I can't be a part of society like this. How exactly can I change myself?
Author	lifeisnotverygood
Upvotes	11
Comments	3
Date	December 2, 2016 5:28 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5g1ls8/i_have_nothing_to_say_i_realized_i_cant_be_a_part/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-have-nothing-to-say-i-realized-i-cant-be-a-part.78456 https://theredarchive.com/post/78456

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