I've been lurking around this sub and others like it, eg. mgotw, nofap. incels wiki etc. I've came to realize true female nature and don't want to end up like most of men, ie. used and dumped.

I've already been used as an emotional tampon when I was 15 and blamed myself for it. (I was highly blue pilled back then). I was really a beta, cuck, soyboy, white knight with no dignity before being redpill aware. It's been a lot of time since then, and I've drastically changed, for better.

I see how peaceful my life will be if I go without women, and focus on myself, I'll potentially avoid trap of marriage, alimony and child support and other bs complications that come with relationships.(no one can ignore the rising divorce rates).I've realized how rational the choice of MGTOW/redpill is.

But still, I'm afraid of being alone, I long for emotional support, I long for love. I wish I had someone who would say 'I love you', I want female affection, hugs and love. I want my LTR relationship to be healthy like you see in movies, where both parties love, support, cherish and grow with each other. I don't know if this is even possible in today's times. Even psychologists like peterson say that life becomes lonely after 40, and it's better to have a family.

Please help me decide, I'd like to hear your opinions regarding this or your personal anecdote.