I posted about my marriage and some people PMed me to come here. I have read some of the literature but don't see the advice as beneficial to my situation

[deleted] · 2016-12-07T14:36:11+00:00

No More Mr. Nice Guy

Read it now. Thank us later.

exit_sandman · 2016-12-07T14:06:32+00:00

the original thread was deleted but I can repost it here if necessary

Well yeah, this would have been smart considering that we don't even know what your problem is.

throwawayyyyyyyy9988 · 2016-12-07T14:51:07+00:00

Marriage as a social construct is sex from your wife at any point you find you want it, in exchange for not fucking other women, and not spending your money, time, attention and affection on other women.

So, you, by virtue of not having a wife that fucks you, are in a situation where she broke the marriage contract.

am still not permitted to have sex.

Well this makes you a bitch. Are you a cuck? Do you like being told what to do? If she doesn't want to have sex with you, the only thing this changes is that you won't have sex with HER. Not that you won't have sex.

I will bet money that you are not attractive enough to get another woman, so of course, you are not " allowed" to have sex.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2016-12-07T14:39:15+00:00

So why are you still married to this woman?

throwawayyyyyyyy9988 · 2016-12-07T14:43:39+00:00

askmrp is prob best place to get your best answers,

but it's not the pityfest/break up!/shitshow that the relationshits sub is.

Make sure you put some thought into your post - info, background, what you want out of the situation.

Put on your big boy pants too - sometimes tough love is what you get. Check your ego.

quicklogaccount · 2016-12-07T16:22:29+00:00

You made a mistake.

Sidebar can save you, but I'll add something, for starters, before you get it wrong.
Abundance mentality is non negotiable.

Dread game isn't mistreating your wife. It's meant to effect the both of you.
First, you will focus more on you and your shit (and you'll make gym and looking good your shit), and let her do hers, and you will talk to women. It it fails,
Second, you'll observe which form of affection is more important to her and stop it (take a look at 5 languages of love). When she asks for it, you respond initiating sex.
Third and last, you let her know you're talking to other women.

By focusing more on you, you'll become less demanding of her, hence, less frustrated. With less attention from you, she'll perceive your time and affection as more valuable and pursue it. Denying affection increases this.
By talking to other women, you'll increase your abundance mentality. If she notices you're giving other women attention, she'll compete for it.

Nyquil-Junkie · 2016-12-07T17:52:06+00:00

We can't talk to you about this problem. Your dick smells and you posted it too late in the afternoon.

Thewelshpill · 2016-12-07T14:33:42+00:00

So how do you actually benefit from this marriage?

Mecha75 · 2016-12-07T18:44:49+00:00

quit being a beta bitch. She doesn't respect you and therefore will never have a desire to fuck you. Now that you are married, the only value she brings to the relationship is to suck you, fuck you, and to help raise any byproduct of said fucking. So drop the xbox controller, go pick up a dumbbell, and read the sidebar -->

its all you need to change your marriage into a fun one (worked for me and I had a similar situation)

[deleted] · 2016-12-07T18:49:17+00:00

File for Divorce today.

MorePancakes · 2016-12-07T20:49:41+00:00

!Remindme 12 hours

Yashugan00 · 2016-12-07T23:09:45+00:00

Please be a troll? You've been married 7 years and you've only had sex 3 times? And shames you for your desires? And you don't think this sub can help you?

Buddy, wake up call. Get angry, you need this more than most.

LordThunderbolt · 2016-12-08T00:24:19+00:00

I don't see how your marriage is great at all, even besides the sex. Sounds like you two don't enjoy each other's company that much. It sounds more like a relationship out of convenience. I'm curious to how much you make annually compared to her...

As for your sex life, she's not obligated to fuck you jyst because you're married. If your physique doesn't turn her on or your behavior as her man is unattractive, she just wrong have the desire to fuck you. You still need to be on your toes even after marriage. Now you're probably wondering how you can generate this desire in her? Thisvraw lust that will make her want to fuck you? It's going to take some work, but it involves two things: Your physique and your masculinity/behavior.

Your physique: Nobody can fight physical lust. When you find someone genuinely sexy, you just can't fight it. Your heart beats faster, your genitals get all tingly, you start to fantasize, you just want to fuck them. Women will easily fuck a man they hate or fuck a man who's name they dont even know, as long as he can generate that list. Your number one priority right now should be to get in shape, lift weights not cardio. Start benching, squatting, deadlifting. Go to the gym, it'll burn body fat, build muscle, and build strength. You will become more attractive in the process. Get a nice haircut that goes with your face, groom and practice good hygiene. Improve your looks in general. But better fitting clothes, better fragrances etc. Always look your best.

Your masculinity: Very important because she needs to feel like a woman in your presence, not your equal. Two androgynous Tumblr social justice warriors are equal. A man and a woman aren't, they generate different types of energies but balance each other out. Learn to lead, make the decisions, don't explain yourself, retract your attention when she acts up, and most of all learn to be comfortable and confident in doing your own thing without her permission. She's your wife, not your owner, not your parent, and definitely not your equal. But the only way you can do any of that masculine stuff from that frame is if you acquire the knowledge on how to do it by reading the books recommended here, starting with No More Mr Nice Guy.

And remember that a sure way to absolutely kill a relationship or marriage is to practice complacency. Get comfortable with each other, do the same shit all the time, be boring, and you'll be in a shit marriage in no time.

IVIaskerade · 2016-12-08T01:18:29+00:00

Marriage is not fun at all and I think I've made a terrible mistake

You're right. You have made a terrible mistake. You done screwed the pooch and then screwed it again for good measure. You have, objectively, failed.

However. There is absolutely no point wallowing in misery - that won't help at all. The question now is what are you going to do about it?

You have two options.

You can continue to try things that haven't been working. That's called insanity.
You can start working to fix things. I mean fix the underlying issues, not the things you think are the issues.

Your choice. Makes no difference to me whether you live or simply exist. It'll be a hell of a difference to you, though.

it seems it really applies to single men

Boy, if you don't shape up sharpish you're going to be a single man anyway.

Besides that, so fucking what? Take the advice. Maybe she'll sit up and pay attention once you start looking attractive like a single man again.

I am not really in a position to start being unpleasant to my wife in order to improve my marriage.

Two things:

Number one, you're either going to get into that position, or assume the position. Your choice.

Number two, no. It doesn't involve being unpleasant. It involves being a man, and treating her like a woman. That only sounds unpleasant because you've been told it's wrong your entire life. Truth is, it's great.

Other than sex our relationship is okay, just really boring.

That's ok? Raise your expectations a bit, son! You shouldn't just be trudging through life with your face in the dirt!

I've given up trying to initiate sex because she won't. Every time I do try there is a reason why it can't happen, and that reason is usually my fault

She's right.

: you've not showered, your penis smells, you will make me dirty, you didn't come to bed early enough.

She's wrong.

It is your fault, but she doesn't want to fuck you because you're not attractive to her. She can't articulate that because she doesn't know it, but all her excuses are just that, excuses. Covers for that itch she can't scratch.

At the end of the day, you can walk away from all of this, and you'll become another fiftysomething person, married to a fat, unattractive, shrill harpy he hasn't touched in a decade, masturbating to internet porn whilst reminiscing of what might charitably be called his glory days. Or you can do the right thing, and take the first few steps towards the light.

Again, your choice.

All_Ads_Deceive · 2016-12-08T05:14:01+00:00

PM me your wife's number. I'll fix her sex drive

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