Does anyone here have dead parents?

32643264 · 2016-12-13T17:07:58+00:00

I got you bro.

What do girls want? As the song goes, "girl just want to have fun." Thats all they want...you should be having a good time and they should be lucky enough to be on the fun ride, with you leading the way. They do not want to talk about serious shit. They don't want to know about the "real" you or who you are inside. They don't care. Get rid of that Disney movie fantasy. Here at RP, we live in the real.

Dates should be good times that facilitate her feeling sexy. If she feels sexy, you have a better chance of sleeping with her. You talking about your dead parents is not sexy and comes across as weak, and needy. She won't find you "dark" or "mysterious" or "in touch with your emotions". You will just be a guy whining about his problems.

Why should you listen to me?

I was there for my GF when she had all her "problems" aka bullshit about coworker squabbles etc. But when something real happened, (brother and mother dying w/in 2 months), was she there for me? Hell no. I thought she would be ok with me sharing my feelings and emotions. It killed the relationship. This is how I found TRP and it saved my life.

FYI Girls are incapable of dealing with any real problems. Her problems are your problems and your problems are YOUR problems and yours alone. This is the burden of being a man and the crux of what TRP teaches us.

Now, if you are struggling with the loss of your parents, talk with your close guy friends about it. Thats what they are there for. Never talk to a woman (even your sister) about your feelings. They cannot understand.

If you're struggling with your emotions and thinking about bad stuff maybe you shouldnt be dating atm and go monk mode....concentrate on your own well being first bro. If you arent happy, the female certainly cant be either.

Get yourself right first. If you need someone to talk to PM me.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2016-12-13T17:51:17+00:00

Does anyone here have dead parents?

Yep.

"I'm sorry, I can't be that person for you."

Wow. What a cunt.

Any advice?

I'm an older guy (late 40s) and my folks have been dead for ten years (they had me later in life than was typical for back then).

Girls will quite naturally ask about my folks and I just say that they're no longer with us, and when the girl apologize (for what? It's not like she killed them...) I simply say "It's ok. I don't mind being reminded of them. I was quite lucky to be their son." I might also add that they had a long (60+ years) and happy marriage, etc., which happens to be true.

It lets the girl off the hook, so to speak. I would recommend that you say something similar, even if your parents sucked, (not that I know whether they did or did not) because, if so, nothing can be done about it now, and better to make the girl feel warmly about you because of your attitude.

Retspihi · 2016-12-13T17:41:53+00:00

Mom died 2 years ago. Have very little family.

Can't change it and if they judge you fuck em

Retspihi · 2016-12-13T17:42:27+00:00

The fact that she told you that means she's a cunt

SpinPlates · 2016-12-13T23:59:56+00:00

My father was an alcoholic drug addict that went from making 6 figures to dead on the streets in 4 years.

I did everything i could for him, and eventually kicked him out of my apartment to the streets. I have some serious guilt about it. I don't like to tell women about it because im immediately labeled as damaged goods.

aurelius_shrugs · 2016-12-13T22:03:21+00:00

This shit is in your head. I've found the fact that my dad died under mystery circumstances a plus and buried in an unmarked grave. You are the story teller of your life.

failingtheturingtest · 2016-12-14T06:11:35+00:00

Lost my Dad (who was my mentor and still is my hero) when I was 18.
Still can't watch movies with deep father/son connections.

I obviously don't bring it up on dates. If a girl asks about my dad, I'm fine pointing out that he died when I was 18. As /u/VasiliyZaitzev said, they almost always apologize. I just smile and say something along the line of "I stopped blaming you years ago". That usually gives me a little laugh and then the mood is back up.

This is 13 years on and you can see the look of 'Oh Fuck' in a girl's eye when she realizes she's just brought up a dead parent. Yours being much more recent just means she's going to be even more concerned that she's just turned you into a whimpering mess in front of her very eyes. And here's the kicker, you don't even have to be a whimpering mess for her to see that.

This is not just related to dating.
Be Stoic. Find that balance between "This event was one of the most important and life changing events of my life" and "The fact that I'm being reminded of it does not shake my mood at all". This is the ultimate proof of frame. You're not dodging shit-tests, you're not trying to manufacture some proof of frame. You are frame. Dealing with one of life's biggest challenges and coming out the other side is what everyone needs from a man.

I'll leave you with the final words of my dad.
Dad: I'll sort this out. You get back to bed, you've got a lot to do tomorrow.

Title	Does anyone here have dead parents?
Author	zfdsdacdcwr
Upvotes	4
Comments	8
Date	December 13, 2016 4:36 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5i4jy0/does_anyone_here_have_dead_parents/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/does-anyone-here-have-dead-parents.79051 https://theredarchive.com/post/79051

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