I wish I still had the text thread, but in undergrad (3 years ago) I remember sending screen shots of my Tinder (TINDER, FFS🙄) profile to a guy friend so I could get a male’s perspective on why I wasn’t making many matches.

He told me I looked too “expensive” and was probably intimidating guys / making them feel like dating me would be a lot of “work.” I felt gutted and then boy did I drink the Kool Aid. I changed all of my photos to pictures of me in casual settings in plain outfits, made my bio a line from the Office instead of the meaningful bit it had been, etc…

If only I had known what a compliment that was! That I was inadvertently scaring away LVM just by having high quality photos! And needless to say, I DID make more matches when I dumbed down my profile. NV matches. Matches that messaged me “Hey” “What that mouth do” “I’m down with the swirl” etc. The few dates I went on ended in either me blocking them or me getting ghosted, feeling empty and wondering what I did “wrong.” Stroked my ego for the short term and left me crushed and bitter for the long.

TLDR: Looking expensive is a COMPLIMENT and an amazing way to keep scrotes who know they can’t do right by you away. Unfortunately there are LVM who will still match with you with the intention of negging you and bringing you down to a level that they feel less intimidated by. But thanks to the vetting tools we have learned, they won’t make it very far in the presence of a queen who knows her worth & FDS vetting tactix ;) Keep leveling TF UP!!!