Is it okay to contact my ex’s ex-gf?

WatermelonSugar47 · 2021-03-14T15:28:28+00:00

I think it's always an ok idea to support another woman, but don't make assumptions about why she's depressed (or even that she is) and don't get offended or personalize it if she isn't interested in being your friend.

ms_monquis · 2021-03-14T21:33:41+00:00

Tread…carefully. I had an ex’s ex (after me) contact me and it was a: unwelcome, b: intended only to slag on him and try to drag me into their drama, c: stalkerish. (Now, that situation was the reverse of yours — I was fine, and SHE was the depressed one. That’s unfortunate, but us having been lied to by the same person isn’t enough for me to want to be her friend.)

The bigger question, I think, is why are you following these people on IG?

dancedancedance83 · 2021-03-14T22:57:21+00:00

I'm actually in Camp No on this one. I had an ex's (sort of) ex reach out to me. She was upset that my ex wouldn't date her after we'd broken up and he'd strung her along and it was clear she was very desperate to date him. She wanted to commiserate. I did try to be her friend, but she said that we'd never talk again and we just dated the same guy. So ok, fine. We talked about how we both deserved better and my ex was shit, fine. She was all female empowerment and whatever. Then she comes back weeks later saying my ex begged her back and she "lost all feelings for him and he does this." I was confused why she would even come back and say that to me. I blocked her and this girl ends up dating him very shortly after and pretty much everything she'd said to me privately was the opposite of what she was saying online. She was shady.

My ex was mildly popular online and from what I read years later, she'd dumped him for the same reasons she was crying to me about a year and a half later. Lol, couldn't really feel sorry for her.

Intentions get weird when there's feelings involved. It doesn't sound like this girl is your friend so I would mind your business and focus on you. Even if you were friends, it would be kind of weird being friends when you dated the same guy? You also don't know what she'll say to your ex or to other people about you. There's no real connection there. If she needs mental help, I'm sure she has friends and family that care for her that can get her the help she needs. It's not your job.

43rdaccount · 2021-03-15T00:33:49+00:00

i personally would find this overstepping, although i dont really know IG etiquette. also lots of people dont want to talk about their ex and dont want things that remind them of their ex.

as others have said, if you really wanna try, send an unassuming message that doesnt mention depression or the ex, with a clear way for her to say no to talking

Title	Is it okay to contact my ex’s ex-gf?
Author	olololoh12
Upvotes	24
Comments	4
Date	March 14, 2021 3:11 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/m4wtmf/is_it_okay_to_contact_my_exs_exgf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/is-it-okay-to-contact-my-exs-ex-gf.792370 https://theredarchive.com/post/792370

Comments