I was kinda having a recap of my year and there is this girl that I still can't figure out. So I met a girl for 2 weeks earlier this year, in a hostel. We quickly built a lot of rapport and she was merged into my group of friends. On my side, I was instantly attracted to her and after a week maybe I was just losing my mind. We got close and she was different with me than with the other people. We danced several times together, we were affectionate and had a couple times where while hanging out as a group, everyone left and we stayed just the two of us without her showing sign of wanting to go. I was also the only guy who was allowed to touch her, hug her etc. Anyway, trying to keep it short, in my mind she was definitely not indifferent to me. Some people actually believed we were a couple and some others thought if I was to make a move it'd be a 100% done deal. There were times where I had my doubts but the overall evidence points in that direction. So, I didn't do anything for 2 reasons. First, I bitched out, clearly. And I know she noticed I was attracted to her. Secondly, I was honestly almost in love with that girl and I swore to myself I wouldn't get in a relationship during my travels. If anything had happened, I wouldn't have gone to all the places I went after and I'd have gone insane. Anyway the day after I left, I was just thinking about it 24/7 so I called her, twice, no answer. I then shot her a text and asked if she had ever wanted more between us. I just had to get it out of my system to move on, since we would never see each other again. She sent me a text like "to be honest, no I didn't, but not just because of you, I don't want anything with anyone at the moment and in this context, and I wish you had talked to me about this in person. But you're very cool and we had great chemistry. I tried to give you an as satisfying answer as possible via text".

I then replied that I felt attached and didn't want to trigger anything so I didn't make a move. And that her answer was fine and bye bye. Anyway, the point of this post is that actually I felt like her answer was bullshit. At that point she knew that we'd never see each other again, and it wasn't congruent with her actions. But I also could say that she'd have nothing to lose by saying "yes, I wanted more".

Can anyone share some insight on this? She was my dream girl and I want to know if I just fantasized the whole fucking thing like a total loser or what.