How Do You Deal with Loneliness and Lack of Self-Worth, even When You're Seeing Improvement?

empatheticapathetic · 2016-12-23T02:10:22+00:00

With age comes IDGAF mentality. It sounds condescending but as you experience more of life and the shit that comes along with it, you start to appreciate and enjoy little moments a lot more and stop giving a fuck about these non existent feelz.

I have huge issues with self esteem and reading TRP for a year has really helped my brain level out a lot. Made me learn how to feel confident in myself despite my failures and just stop entertaining seemingly useless thoughts.

At the same time my 'uselessness' feelings are the same things that pushed me to be ambitious in my aspirations, it makes sense why they are connected.

SkorchZang · 2016-12-23T07:16:07+00:00

You can think of this kind of like losing your virgnity. This comes from your upbringing, it will be proportionately harder to lose. The basic idea is to test yourself. Fail a lot. Rush headfirst into every fray and see if you can avoid sinking, on pure inspiration and random courage. Wild it up and scare yourself shitless by the demands you place on yourself.

A careful reading of TRP material sometimes sets a guy up with a (false) frame of being very protective about his own self. That's where all the comparisons to friends/others comes from, that's where most of the "loneliness" (inadequacy) comes from. Don't be too protective, you're a man and can take some knocks, no probs. You shouldn't protect yourself from life, guzzle it deliberately and make yourself choke on it. By creating enough intensity in this direction you will soon notice you lost your "inadequacy" virgnity, by the wonderful mysterious process of realizing you are not special and you ain't shit. And being at peace with it, smiling like mona lisa.

You want to be so tired of having to constantly DO shit you have no idea how to do, that you hardly have any time or mental energies to consider if you're adequate. In fact you already know you probably aren't, and couldn't care less, it still needs to be done, it needs to be winged somehow. Those childish luxuries of wondering if you're a good boy or not will be the least of your worries on this regimen.

Shamlei · 2016-12-23T14:43:09+00:00

I've been following red pill for a year, lifting, fapping way less, lifting 3x/week, shedding away tons of fat, putting on muscles, improving style, finding my passion and being more and more outgoing towards girls.

I've seen a lot of progress but sometimes at night I still feel like I'm worthless and alone.

Do you know why ?

Because I am, and you are too, your brain is telling you that you did good things but you are late, you should have done those things way earlier, so now you better not give up and throw everything you have at it everyday.

You don't need to "up your confidence", you need to up your SMV, lift, eat well, follow your passion ect... And someday you will fill fullfilled but it might still take years of feeling like shit.

As time passes there's less and less people around me that I can look at and say "damn I want to be like them", because I'm simply improving and getting more value each day.

Don't feel down because you think Chad is better than you and don't try to go against this thought because it's probably true.

Acknowledge his qualities, make a plan to reach his level, even befriend him to know what mistakes he made while getting here so you don't make them too.

Also you mentionned a lot of good books at the start but remember that practice will always win over theory, get in there, get rejected, feel like crap, analyse what you did good and bad and correct it.

If it gets hard it's good, it means that you're challenging yourself, so don't try to suppress those feeling, embrace them, and try again and again.

Do that each day and one day you won't feel good, you WILL be good.

YOU have to be hard on yourself because your mom and your friends won't be.

TheRogueMage012 · 2016-12-23T01:34:54+00:00

Confidence is a fake it till you make it thing. practice meditation my friend,it teaches you to be in the present moment and avoids negative thoughts,so you would not compare yourself to other people. if you can't express yourself maybe your filtering the words you use. dont filter it i mean say what you think and if there's a mistake correct it in the conversation itself.

Title	How Do You Deal with Loneliness and Lack of Self-Worth, even When You're Seeing Improvement?
Author	TryingCircle
Upvotes	7
Comments	9
Date	December 23, 2016 1:21 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5jud0e/how_do_you_deal_with_loneliness_and_lack_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-deal-with-loneliness-and-lack-of-self.79569 https://theredarchive.com/post/79569

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