I lurk on Reddit and before I deleted Facebook use to look at friends I went to school with, feeling like I missed out on having relationships and being alone. I did not have a single relationship throughout my 20s (Am 30 now). Started to feel kind of sad about that, but realized that I was busy enjoying other things (listening to music, collecting watches, driving fun cars, reading books, playing video games from time to time) and can't imagine my life having been better having relationships instead.

Thinking back on it, these people all had to spend their youth raising a kid and hanging around the same person all the time. I skipped out on my first high school reunion even though by my hometown's metrics I am very successful, as I thought being a single guy from a town where most married fast and had kids quickly would think I wanted to be more like them and feel pity for me (I even had a flashy sports car at the time, so "young midlife crisis" I could see some thinking). Could not be further from the truth and I kind of feel sad that many of them didn't get to do more stuff exploring who they are as an individual before they married someone and had a kid or two with them.

Parents used to ask me about having kids and having a relationship but I always responded with disinterest. I have no interest in having a kid. I really don't think I care to get married and honestly not sure I even care about having a relationship beyond purely platonic ones. I'm tired of being guilted by society that there's anything wrong with me for being 30 and single. I have no debt, a decent chunk of money in the bank, a career I enjoy, and I have all this time and freedom to just enjoy life.

Every time I think about dating now, I think of how I would hide my success to make sure I did not end up with someone interested in me for my success - though modest it may be relative to others. When I was younger I would've killed for those relationships, but it feels so empowering now that I would just reject them. I am where I am thanks to my own efforts.

I'm content with how things are, I don't want someone else coming in and altering it. I'm learning to play the saxophone, starting to read some more classic literature I never thought I had time for, honestly it's great. It's sad that a man cannot say these things about choosing to be single elsewhere without someone thinking they're in denial and just lying to themselves because we're so trained that life has to play out the same way for everyone.

TL;DR: I appreciate this community, without lurking here I am not sure I would've felt comfortable saying this or thinking this. I don't think I could say it anywhere else. I hope more men can find happiness within themselves and enjoy all that life has to offer.