Hey guys! I come to you fellow and senior MGTOW for moral guidance/advice about helping my dad pay off family debt.
So my father is working full time and earning decently enough but is in a lot of debt after having carried my mother for 10~ years while she was ill/unemployed. My dad could easily get a great life for himself if the debt was removed, which I totally want for him as he's been sacrificing and grinding for me and my brother and sister all his adult life.
My mom tried to start her own company some 5-6 years ago and my dad helped her put up the money. Her business never took off and now they (not her, they) are in debt... It's in his name so he can't just walk away from her either (which he won't do, I've checked). She has since found work and is actually doing sort of okay with her new job, working long hours, bringing in money for the household, paying her own again etc. My dad finally put his foot down and she got her shit together.
While this has been going on I've been a student for 5 years so I couldn't really help out, but I'm about to graduate in two weeks time.
So I'm considering helping my dad pay off the debt.
He's been dropping a lot of not-subtle hints about how stressed he is about it and how it completely holds back his life and it naturally makes me want to help. It feels like he is asking for help but is too proud to actually do it, you know?
It's a very high-interest kind of loan apparently which makes it very hard to get rid of for them. They don't have a lot of financial security due to the 2008 bubble burst setback where they lost most of their stuff, so they've been living paycheck to paycheck for a long time.
The loan amount is somewhere around ~35.000 US from what I could gather. It's basically like a years salary worth give or take. Apparently handling the interest is all he can do now.
I think that if the three of us work together we can knock it out pretty quickly.
However I can't help shake the feeling that if I do help them, my mom would just start using more of their income on her "life story" or whatever. It would probably start small like a new fridge or a new set of clothes, thinking that the sudden increase in finances are all due to her new income. Stuff like travels, purses, shoes etc.
I've heard her say that she feels she's been "holding back" for "so long" due to their economic history and that she can't wait to "live a proper life" again (all codes for spending if you ask me).
Even if she doesn't plan it now consciously, I've seen enough on/about MGTOW to realize her spending will go up in proportion with their income. After all they didn't get where they are now from one isolated poor investment. I worry my dad won't be able to stop her.
As you can imagine I don't feel comfortable paying for her/"their" lifestyle spending, you know? Even if my dad can keep my mother and his own spending in check, all it takes is them taking one vacation or buying one thing they couldn't afford before I started helping and I'd basically be paying for their lifestyle. It's the old "help them pay their mortgage and watch them go on vacation" kind of thing. You're basically paying for their holiday.
Should I take a year out of my own life development when I'm just getting started to help them out?I love them both, and my dad and I are really close. I really want him to not live in stress and anxiety all the time, which admittedly this debt is causing. I see it on him and I worry about his health sometimes.
I've been considering
Thanks for reading, peace!
[–]Pliyii 1 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Altacct1234567890 1 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]betterforitall 1 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Jan22147 1 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]udemark 1 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Cfaraway 1 points (1 child) | Copy Link