Disclaimer: not a native speaker, so my English is what it is.

I'm happy this sub exists.

On the other one there's a lot of talk about enemies, a lot of hate, and as trite as this may sound, I think we all should strive to live in peace with each other. Failing that, at least one side, us men, ought to be the better side, the grown-ups.

I don't hate women. I hate the Third Wave and everything it stands for, because it basically boils down to always going against men and hating them. But I don't hate women just because a great many of them (maintain they) hate men - and many, I'm sure, do it because it's fashionable to jump on the bandwagon.

I simply choose to be the better person and not hate back. Hate is bad, and that means I dislike the more extremist fringes that run the other sub. They're the most vocal group and it's a pity, because it's way too easy to single them out and use them as an example of what a MGHOW is, where in my mind a MGHOW is a much more peaceful bloke who simply doesn't pursue women, and does so pretty much silently, without spreading hate as his counterpart does so often.

I see a lot of talk about post-red-pill rage, but I think that's hardly excusable. Despising a human being just because she belongs to the opposite gender is bad. I get it, a lot of men had very bad experiences with women, they are pissed, angry, disappointed, but what good does lashing out do, really?

I'm from Italy, and in my particular region I often heard a piece of advice that roughly translates to "do your thing and keep quiet about it". I so wish all MGTOWs did just that; which doesn't mean not talking openly about it, just avoiding all the hate that gets thrown around by the folks at /r/mgtow, which doesn't make them any better than Third Wavers.

In the end, getting vocal about it doesn't help the cause. Actually going each one his own way does, and to me going my way, choosing myself, entails making this a sort of silent revolution. It's facts that move things, not hate speech. Facts are loud, and compared to them, loud hate speech and snarky memes become nothing but weak, annoying meowing.

I'm really sorry to see that men deciding to go their own way represents such a huge problem for women that it spurs them to write hate-filled articles on blogs calling us names, and I'm sure it has to do with how the more vocal and extremist fringes portray themselves, arguably coming off as frustrated women-hating losers. I would not criticize a woman who decides to go her own way (in fact, I'm all for her freedom to do so and highly encourage it), but apparently a man is not allowed to do the same.

This should go without saying, but I don't condone rape and actual sexual abuse, and I honestly think the perpetrators and those who make excuses for them should get their urethra thoroughly sounded with rusty barbwire, for starters. I am really sorry that women can't feel safe at night, can't go out by themselves and have a drink without being scared shitless that some awful guy will assail her. Forcing anybody of any gender to do anything they don't want to do is never excusable, never was and never will be, and should be condemned and punished.

I listen to women talk, and realize my country is full of Third Wavers who are in it without having a clue why. What's important is badmouthing males, nothing else. I was recently listening to three of them talking at a pub I hit often. It was after closing time, and they were all waitresses. Apparently they were convinced that "we women have to put up with a lot to be with you guys", and when one guy politely tried to argue that they aren't a piece of cake either, they flat out rejected whatever he was saying. I don't get into arguments with self-proclaimed feminists (much less Italian ones), but was entertained at the exchange, which was mostly them uttering enlightened truths such as "guys just want to fuck us" and "they only think about that one thing".

I am entertained by this kind of talk, it just reinforces my opinion of women. According to my experience and dealings with a bunch of women, they have a tendency to lie. They lie on even the tiniest things, and they do so in the name of who knows what advantage. I like when they deny they masturbate, I like when they deny they watch porn. I like when they constantly play the victim's part in any situation.

But most of all, I love it when they conflate all men to the stereotype of the gullible, sex-starved, dumb beast that will put up with any sort of behavior and is expected to believe anything they say in order to get some. It's guys like me who ruin the party, and I swear sometimes they sense this. Realizing that you have a bag full of tricks that all of a sudden are useless must be terrifying, I reckon, especially after generations upon generations during which they worked flawlessly.

AND NOW, FOR THE PART THAT YOU CAN SAFELY SKIP

To give a bit of background on this, I'll write up a paragraph to tell you who I am. As I said I'm Italian, soon to turn 32, and have been a MGHOW long before this term started to get thrown around. I've been single for the past eleven years (going for twelve in a couple of months). I had one girlfriend and, while nothing tragic had happened, we agreed on parting ways because it just wasn't working. And even back then, barely 18, I was having none of the tricks she, being a woman, would attempt to have it her way. It took me some amount of time to forget her - you know, your first love is always your first love - but then, also thanks to other women I dealt with, I realized there was not much in it for me. I don't crave a sexual partner, and to me the ideal mate would be a girl with a great sense of humor, who doesn't want kids, does not want to get married and with whom I could engage in living out common passions (music being the key one). No drama, just good fun. Sex does not matter, good if it's there, equally fine otherwise. That's very hard to come by, it's more of a friend than a lover.

But living by myself further reduced the need for a partner like that, because I can honestly say I feel quite happy with the way my life is going. I don't look hideous, some number of women seem to be attracted to me, so it's not that I'm going my own way because I gave up: it was a very conscious decision, stemming from the realization that I'm just not compatible with women, and it's not worth the hassle to get a girl's attention. Also, maybe I am the problem, but most women just don't make sense to me. As in, at all.

Today there's no way a woman can even make eye contact with me if I don't allow it, and most times I won't, because I've been led on in the past and it sucks, and rather than give them retaliation I prefer to just "ignore" them. I smile out of politeness and because a smile makes anybody look better and improves the mood (we're all out to have a good time, hopefully), will talk to them no problem and actually listen to what they say, but won't do anything that might make them think I am interested in any way.

I honestly can't remember the last time I dated. Since before this past Christmas I've been supposed to meet with a girl I saw a couple of times years ago - and whom I've known since we were very little: I ran into her at the mall, and she proposed we meet up for drinks one evening after work.

I agreed, but was never in the mood to call her and decide when we should do it. Of course, I'm unlikely to ever be in the mood ever since, a few years back, she attempted to put me on the back burner while she was pursuing another guy. When I told her that I was definitely not going to wait for her, she acted all disappointed and even kissed me to try to manipulate me into waiting for her, but the following day I not-so-kindly told her off. I'm always nice to women - as I'm nice to everybody regardless of their gender - but to have the gall to act offended because I told her I wasn't going to wait was a bit too much.

EDIT: a few fixes here and there.