Hi All, Long story short, my wife asked for divorce awhile back. Any empathy/love/cooperation turned off for her shortly after. Caught her in an EA, looked back and saw a bunch of red flags which look like a PD and here I am now.

We have two young kids who she seems to be ok with for the time being. I dont see any way for me to get more than 50/50 time, and until my wife gets worse, I think the kids need SOME time with her. It'll be joint custody if I'm lucky.

I have a couple questions: 1) In your opinions, does it matter if I get a male or female lawyer? Judges are 75% male here.

2) Does medical insurance come out of child support?

3) How do you survive financially and give the kids a good life?? My wife is currently SAHM, no income. I made about 47k a year before anything is taken out. How on what I make, can I afford child support, alimony, medical insurance, and day care on top of everything else? Daycare here is on average 30k a year for 2 kids. There will be so little left for counseling for the kids, food, diapers, mortgage.

The marriage isnt salvagable and its unhealthy for the kids and I with the psychological abuse (against me) yet financially, it looks impossible to get out of. When I do, it looks like itll be high conflict. Any thoughts, or can you relate? It looks like my kids will survive on ramen. When/if my stbx gets a job, it'll likely be lowering paying than mine, probably 30k/year. This system seems so slanted against the more ambitious and hard working spouse. I spent years to build up to get where I am now, only to give away the difference for at least the next 17 years.