I will keep this as short as I can. -I'm a 19 years old male , living 1000km away from home, studying at university (Physics degree) (Spain, Europe). -Nearly a year ago (11 months) I started my first relationship with an awesome girl (my first kiss, first sex). -5 months ago I had to move 1000 km away to go to university (my choise, went to the best university of the country).

Now, I love. I love her a lot. We've always talked about having a lot of kids and marriage. And I should tell you something, my parent got divorced when I was 7 years old. Remember that.

Now that I have lived 5 months away from her (seeing her each month), I'm starting to wonder if I really want marriage or even a serious relationship.

I'm afraid of commitment (because of my parent divorce, my father loosing all... etc). And I'm afraid of losing liberty.

I recently introduced her into the gym (she already had a 9/10 body, she's a latina with awesome body and really beautiful). One thing that I loved about her is that she never dressed as a whore. I'm not saying that she's now, but... She started wearing leggins/yoga pants everyday, which at first bothered me a little, but then I got over it. And now she as started to wear net clothing because Kim Kardashian does it (https://www.instagram.com/p/BK6i_xFja-g/). And she says she like wearing all the new clothing. (I actually fucking hate that she follow those trends and those stupid bimbos, but hey, she beautilful, loving and inteligente (studying Engineering), even though I hate that she likes to know shit about this stupid whore-celebrities, which is not a good example or a role model)

I'm afraid of marrying her, or anybody, because after 10 years or so, she may start dressing as a whore, cheats on me and we divorce, then I lose all my money and my kids.

I love her, I don't have anything against her, yet.

My problem is: I want to feel love and fuck a lot (which we do together during summer, because we only see each other once a month during the rest of the year), but I'm also afraid that I'm having small liberty (not doing 100% what I want) in order to get something in the future with her, a family, but what if she break up with me before having a family, or what if she divorces me.

My feeling is. I put in more that what I get. And I'm afraid of marriage and being tied down with somebody who could destroy my life.

I want love, and a meaningful relationship for the rest of my life, including kids, but I'm afraid of commitment, losing liberty, and working on something that will fail, and losing time. Any advice?

-And by the way, I should also say that I'm doing NoFAP (which can make me be horny 24/7, so consider that factor)

Thanks for your time!