Hello,
My wife (36f) and I (38m) have been struggling with infertility for a few years and it has wreaked havoc on our marriage. We’ve gotten to a spot where our Dr. is recommending donor eggs - however, my wife refuses to proceed with that method.
Essentially, this would be closing the door on my ability to have biological kids - something that is very important. I’m not asking for input on that topic - perhaps we will be able to work through that ... but perhaps not.
My question is, if we get to an impasse where we simply can’t go on, what should I expect.
We live in a no-fault state.. We have no kids. No real property. Both work for the government with vested retirement plans. I make a good salary - approx. twice here. We have a decent savings account. 3 dogs that we both love more than anything.
I haven’t the first clue how these things work - any insight would be appreciated.
To be clear, I’m not looking for marital advice - we are going to try to make it work. I’m only interested in knowing what to expect if we can’t. Thank you in advance.
[–]warrior_up 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[+]Jayemtee5261 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Thanks buddy - I appreciate the response and advice. I wouldn’t say I’ve made up my mind yet, just considering each alternative. I figure I’m not in nearly as bad a spot as some other fellas here.
[–]warrior_up 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sexytimeinseattle 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]roguedelaney 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Knave7575 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[+]neeadviceplease1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
My first wife and I divorced with no kids or property, and we both had retirement accounts. I was working and she was not. She had a good job lined up so it wasn't an issue as far as income or support. We agreed on dividing the property (furniture etc) Paid a lawyer $400 to draft the papers and the entire divorce was completed for less than a thousand bucks. Signed papers, went in front of a Magistrate and it was done. We are still friends and the divorce was amicable. I guess it all depends on how your wife reacts to the situation.
[+]Jayemtee5261 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Thank you, my friend.
[+]neeadviceplease1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m not a lawyer so I honestly can’t answer that question. I do know that every state has their own set of rules so it varies. If I was in your situation, I would consult with an attorney for advice and then proceed with an agreement worked out between you and your spouse. I would also suggest using a mediator if at all possible. Once lawyers get involved no one really wins except the attorneys. Just filing the papers and starting a contested divorce will cost thousands of dollars.
You could also ask in “Legal Advice” here on Reddit about the division of vested retirement accounts. They’ve always been helpful.
[–]Pokerscars69 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link