I’m a 41 year old man in Ohio, secretly preparing to go through my first divorce. We’ve been together a couple of years and married for 6 months. We have no kids together. She has three kids from another marriage and I’ve never had children if my own. We have no shared assets of any kind and I moved to her house in a different state to live with her last year because she had kids and couldn’t move to me. I have quietly had a consult from one divorce attorney but I was admittedly too nervous, scared, confused to ask the right questions. If this post is against policy or poor question asking I apologize ahead of time.
TLDR: I don’t know what to do to start down the divorce path. My wife is at the very least exchanging nudes and panty pics for money. More than likely meeting this guy at a local motel while I work out of town for what I can only imagine is infidelity. I’m trying to figure out what, if any evidence I should take me to my attorney and to court or if it’s just best left unknown as to how I’ve gotten the info that I have. I have a great deal of evidence I have gathered. Am I not supposed to just say I want a divorce and pack my stuff and leave a house that she’s been renting for several years apparently? I don’t want to be here at all anymore. I just want to go home and get over this entire process. I just feel lost because I don’t trust anyone else I know to share these questions with. Long story. I want to preface all this with my wife knows nothing about what I’ve found and how I’ve found it. I recently discovered, although have long suspected, that my wife has an outside interest and has for the whole time we’ve been together. I guess I’ve known for a long time I just chose to ignore it or make excuses for what I thought. You see some texts here and there that look odd but it’s turned out to be texts to this man under different contact names, like her sister she doesn’t talk to much, other times it’s been a nickname that one of her girlfriends at work goes by. The wife would show me some memes on Facebook or something and every now and then a text would come through that I wasn’t supposed to see and it finally got to me so I did some snooping and got the number and tricked the guy into telling me his name by telling him that his phone number was on a flyer at my local bike shop. After that I did a lot more detective work and found out what I needed to know. The divorce is going to happen
[–]dday_throwaway3 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+]syro231 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I'd still hold onto any and all evidence. You might be in one of those 13 states. You might also get gaslighted by her. If it was me, the texts and pics would help my resolve to move forward with the divorce. It does you know harm to hold on to evidence until everything is settled. If she later finds out you have that evidence it could be compelling for her to not drag things out due to a fear of you sharing that evidence with others. DO NOT THREATEN THIS! You don't want to blackmail her, let her draw her own conclusions.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]Qanalysis1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Sorry for your circumstances. I too am about to quietly go through the process, and it's a very hard decision for me as well. You are lucky in some sense you don't have kids...it complicates things on a whole other level and makes it harder to plan a escape.
Question, if you have been married for 6mos, can you get the marriage annulled?
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[+]syro231 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I think a lot of your concerns and questions would be best addressed by a divorce attorney. Meet with one again and have your list of questions ready. I wouldn't take any action on this until you have met with one. You don't want to do anything that would jeopardize a clean and successful break. Good luck!
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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