My wife and I have been together for 20 years. We have 3 kids and live in Arizona. We have not currently filed any paperwork for separation or divorce. The most recent anniversary was a total mess. We didn't even see each other as we were recently separated. We got a 1 bedroom apartment to split time in so we didnt have to have the kids moving about yet. We have been seeing a counselor for about 8 months now with no real progress being made. During the past 2 years anytime we would get into a fight, she would threaten to separate. I was always the guy saying we could work things out. We both have out account-abilities in the marriage but no matter how much I recognize and verbalize it I never get the same accountability from her in reverse. The theme is therapy is that I need to change all of my behavior but is not willing to admit or meet me half way. I feel like if I did that I would not be able to sustain it and would end up even more unhappy than I am currently. She finally told me 1 too many times that she wanted to separate so I finally pulled the trigger. All of the sudden, I am getting blamed for abandoning her. I said I feel as though I just accepted an offer that had been sitting on the table form her for months. The reality is that I am tired of all the fighting and the negativity. The past week has been far less emotional than I thought it would be. It has been great being on my own in the apartment and it has been much more peaceful when I have been with the kids (3) on my own. My gut tells me its time to take the next step but my mind is still slightly conflicted. I am 43 years old and just feel like we both deserve to be happier than we currently are.
In the midst of all of this, she is about ready to go in for a pretty significant health situation. I have assured her that I will support her through that with the kids, family, meals, and whatever else she needs. Once she is back on her feet again, it's time to move forward.
Anybody else share a similar experience where after a long period of married time you just feel like you are two separate people with two very different thought processes?