We've been married almost 7 years, have 2 kids and a house we purchased 4 years ago. We live in Canada.

Quick overview:

Wife cheated in 2012, tried to patch things up, she saw the guy again in 2013. Made a strong commitment to stay together. In 2016 she reached out to this other guy again. We went to counseling and things seemed to improve. December 2017 she tells me she needs space. She says she feels trapped and just wants to get away. January she tells me she's booked a trip to the States where she'll be seeing a friend and also some guy she's been chatting with online. Throughout all of this she's not been angry with me and fully accepted and owned her mistakes. We're still living together, she has not once made any attempt to discuss the situation although I have, initially telling her I wanted to try and work through this. This past week or 2, now 4 months into this situation, I've come to realise we will likely be splitting. I sleep in the main bedroom and she sleeps int he spare room. I work fulltime and I'm the sole earner for the family. We just about get by. I've told her the way I see it she would not be able to afford a rental for herself. If she could find something and took the kids 50% then we'd both end up screwed. If I had to pay child support then I'd likely be left to find a shitty place for my kids and me to live. In the best interests of myself and the kids I've floated the idea that I take full custody for now when we split. She's currently looking for work but it will likely be close to minimum wage. In addition to this we are carrying some debt. We were looking to re-finance the house to consolidate that debt next year. I estimate that what we'd end up with after a house sale, minus the sales tax, realtor fess and any expenses we incur due to fixing up the place before a sale would likely equal what our debt is. E.g., We'd be left with approx $40k after a house sale and our debt is approximately $40k. My idea is to offer to take on all the debt in exchange for taking her off the mortgage. The kids don't need to move, I keep the house I've worked hard for and she gets to start fresh, debt free on her own.

The reason I'm now coming around to this is it suddenly hit me this past week that throughout all of this I've been standing my ground that I want to fight for it all. Us, the kids, the house, everything we've built. I've been incredibly patient and, other than a couple of occasions where I've lost my cool, I've been very calm. I'm not the one who wants to separate and I'm sure the kids don't want to move somewhere else. If she doesn't want this life anymore then shouldn't we be doing whatever we can to minimise the damage for everyone else, myself included?

I'd be interested in your guys' thoughts and I'm happy to answer any questions.