TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

MNCPA Archive

View 57 posts and 891 comments by MNCPA on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
187

False AccusationMNCPA/r/MensRights02/12/20 01:37 PM
65

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men12/09/22 01:43 AM
57

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 01:22 AM
45

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 02:21 PM
40

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 12:01 PM
30

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 03:24 AM
28

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men14/12/20 04:54 AM
26

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men23/11/20 03:34 AM
25

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men26/03/18 05:01 PM
25

Marriage/ChildrenMNCPA/r/MensRights12/06/18 04:49 PM
22

MNCPA/r/MGTOW31/12/18 01:05 PM
22

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men14/08/21 05:49 PM
21

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men05/10/19 11:55 AM
19

FeminismMNCPA/r/MensRights31/08/20 03:10 PM
19

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men02/12/17 02:13 PM
19

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 01:24 PM
19

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men12/08/20 09:33 AM
19

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 01:23 AM
18

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 02:25 PM
17

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men07/12/18 05:08 AM
17

MNCPA/r/MGTOW31/07/18 11:33 PM
15

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 01:47 PM
15

Marriage/ChildrenMNCPA/r/MensRights10/06/18 12:45 PM
13

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 03:00 PM
13

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men13/01/19 04:12 AM
12

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men07/07/20 11:32 AM
12

GeneralMNCPA/r/MensRights08/11/18 12:20 PM
11

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 12:15 PM
10

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men30/08/20 07:51 PM
9

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men30/03/21 12:09 PM
9

HumourMNCPA/r/MensRights06/03/20 03:21 AM
8

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men09/01/18 11:56 PM
8

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men30/05/18 11:33 PM
7

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men26/05/19 08:34 PM
7

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men11/01/20 06:18 PM
6

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 11:26 PM
6

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men02/12/17 07:18 AM
6

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 07:07 PM
6

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men14/08/21 06:48 PM
6

Edu./Occu.MNCPA/r/MensRights15/01/19 02:27 AM
5

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 12:26 PM
5

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men24/09/17 12:26 PM
4

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men09/12/17 10:00 AM
4

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 03:44 PM
3

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 01:08 AM
3

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men17/07/20 11:54 AM
3

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men26/10/18 04:58 PM
3

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men10/10/17 12:59 AM
2

MNCPA/r/askTRP04/11/17 01:13 PM
2

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men15/10/17 12:05 PM
2

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men24/09/17 01:57 PM
2

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men07/12/18 05:28 AM
2

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 03:05 AM
1

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men25/12/17 05:21 PM
1

ProgressMNCPA/r/MensRights08/11/18 12:16 PM
1

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men20/09/19 11:51 PM
0

MNCPA/r/Divorce_Men06/02/20 12:34 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

True, I agree. Cheaters gonna cheat to fill an internal lack in their life. Usually the affair partner doesn't fit that need and don't stay around.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 05:49 PM
3

Yep, my ex was a nurse that decided to quit and stay home with our kids. Funny twist of events, she remarried to a guy that refuses to work. So, that didn't quite turn out as expected. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 05:47 PM
3

Similar situation here. I know this may hurt but think about this. What value did you let her bring to the table? Similar to me, doing everything in the relationship removed the need for both parties to bring value. Seeking another relationship where she could bring value may have been a motivating factor. Similar to my situation, fake realities have just enough truth to become believable. Think, did you do all these things out of love or control. I don't know, I'm just a random dude on the Inte…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 04:28 PM
8

I used to drive for Uber/Lyft during the holidays. It allowed me to not be alone during the holidays and I talked with others. Helping others helped me process the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 02:52 PM
6

Give it time. Your kids are young and will likely forget most of these events. If you need to take a walk for fresh air, then do that. Don't do anything stupid. For example, my ex spent most of her divorce settlement money on fancy vacations for her, our kids, and her affair partner. My kids were around your kids' age. Now, my ex is broke. Last week, she took our oldest kid to "toys for tots" to get xmas presents. Our kids don't remember much of the vacations with their mom and the affair partne…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 02:40 PM
6

Should I consult a lawyer first before talking to her about it? YES. Also, lawyers can setup private billing so that your partner will not find out. For example, request billing to be delayed 60 days or longer but you may need to put up some collateral.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 02:35 PM
14

Go to your sister's house. Be silent. If anyone asks, then just say that you're tired from working. Being present is better than nothing at all.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 02:33 PM
6

Agreed, it's not just another day. This year, my kids are with their mom xmas eve and xmas morning. I'll pick them up in a few hours. One thing that I learned from several years divorced is to give yourself something special. It won't be the same as spending the holidays with someone you loved, but you can still love yourself. This year, I bought a bag of fancy smoked jerky. It's expensive, but it's something special when I'm reading my books. Life lesson -> you can't always get what you want, b…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 02:30 PM
3

They would then “wake up” and pretend it was early Christmas morning. It was a fun little game we started. I learned to start enjoying the extra time to wrap and being able to shower and have a few coffees in me before Christmas present time. This is good advice. I'm going to try this activity this year.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 02:24 PM
13

OFW is expensive but worth it. So many times I've run into the "that's not true; I didn't agree to that" and I just read back the OFW message from the ex. Also, check-ins are well worth it. My ex claims that I randomly (?) don't show up to exchanges but I check-in every time.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 01:16 PM
2

Thanks, fair enough.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 07:20 PM
2

Can you provide your age range? I'm in my 30s. I'm setting myself for retirement (think, FIRE) and often think about the dating pool of 'non-savers'. Honestly, I'm not going to go back to a corporate job after my future FIRE date just because my partner didn't save enough. Granted, I'm probably going to work somewhere part-time to 'get-myself-outside' and have some sort of community involvement. I just feel bad for people working in their 60s & 70s who clearly didn't plan for retirement.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 06:24 PM
13

See, the thing is that some people will not pick up on these signs until it's too late and the cycle is repeated.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 06:16 PM
4

Instead, focus on yourself This ^
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 06:15 PM
1

This user (eggboyandgirljuice) has been permanently banned.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 07:29 PM
8

Why did someone report this comment? It's very uplifting. Please continue to contribute to our subreddit community. Edit. Mods received this explanation: "How is “Men age like wine; women age like milk.” not hateful?" Webster's Dictionary of "Hate" 1a: intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury b: extreme dislike or disgust c: a systematic and especially politically exploited expression of hatred 2: an object of hatred 1: to feel extreme enmity toward : …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 07:23 PM
-1

We're a support subreddit for men going through a divorce, not an anti-woman subreddit. Please be kind.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 03:35 PM
1

Neat.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 08:32 PM
3

Can I ask what made you think a second marriage would be different? Do you think you changed enough or the new partner was different? I'm happily single. It's lonely but I don't see anyone who isn't similar to my ex. I've worked on my self and continue to grow but I don't see anyone to take a chance on.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 06:43 PM
12

Are the friends single? This is a common trap married people fall into. They have single friends who show them the glorious freedom of being single but none of the loneliness and hurt. Often times, after the married person gets divorced, the single friend doesn't have time for them anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 06:41 PM
156

Wait, what? How can you be banned from the service you are paying for without notification?
/r/MensRights07/11/23 01:26 PM
9

How?
/r/MensRights07/11/23 01:22 PM
-2

My ex does the same thing. I just take off work. My career is stunted but I'll support my kids, no matter what.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 01:39 AM
2

That user has been banned by mods.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 10:14 PM
5

Talk to an attorney. I asked this question when going through my divorce, in case I ever decide to go through this process again. My attorney advised that in my state, it's up to the judge assigned to the case. In my attorneys experience, most judges in our area disregard prenups. Unless you can prove absolutely no gain during the marriage, then all the assets covered in the prenup are up for grabs.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 06:43 PM
6

This is the safest and most cost effective answer. Try the pro bono network of attorneys. Call your state bar for that info.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 02:07 PM
7

Whoever reported this comment, please tell mods why you reported it. This user is explaining his relationship experience. Granted, the user could have used nicer language but it does openly describe the user's relationship without targeting a specific person or group. We are a small subreddit open to supporting men going through and surviving a divorce. Sharing experiences and knowledge is part of the process, as long as it's within Reddit's terms of service. I'll get off my soapbox.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 05:53 PM
9

I enjoy the peace too much.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 05:47 PM
18

I give it to you straight. It is unlikely your wife will change her mind. Dating sites are unlimited attention producers from men. Everyone likes compliments and positive attention. I tested this theory by posting only a picture of my overweight orange cat on tinder. Within minutes, I had men trying to match with my cat.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 04:27 PM
1

Projection of her feelings. Keep care of yourself. Protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 04:05 PM
17

It will be here. An entire industry and reality shows are based on saying yes to the dress.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 11:42 PM
5

The illusion of dating options. Look it up. You may be ghosted, not because you are a bad person. Heck, they might have liked you and wanted a relationship with you. On the other side is the illusion of dating options. The perfect person, at that point in life, may still be out there....but the illusion is that the perfect person may already be in a relationship or just not like you. So, don't feel bad about being ghosted. You are in competition with all possible options. Guys tend to get less l…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 04:46 PM
6

Does it matter? In grade school, I had some really incompetent teachers. They tried to teach me incorrectly, but I learned otherwise. They are probably still grade school teachers, but that doesn't bother me. As you grow, you'll learn it doesn't matter whether they are dumb, incompetent, etc. Don't give them free rent in your thoughts. Keep growing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 04:15 PM
4

Minnesota. Try for alimony, it's not gender limiting. My ex tried for the 1:1 ratio alimony but was denied because our incomes were within 10% of each other.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 01:59 PM
3

True. My state is 1:1 for alimony. So, for 12 years of marriage, it'd be 12 years of alimony. Each state is different.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 01:36 PM
6

It might be helpful to add your age group because the climate is different for each stage of life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 11:14 AM
6

I bought back most of my stuff at pawn shops and Goodwill. My ex took our kids with her to dump my stuff and I took the kids to buy the stuff back. My kids understand.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 04:00 PM
16

You are me 4-6 years ago. I have 3 kids, ages 9-12. Here is some helpful advice or thoughts. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. That only hurts yourself. Yeah, you have to work OT to survive and others don't have to. Yeah, you have limited time and others have lots of free time. This mindset only amplifies the visual differences. You're only company is your kids on your free weekends. You may not know it now, but this is your biggest asset. Be present for your kids. That's it, it's a low bar…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 12:57 PM
5

My ex would go in 6-8 month cycles where she would find a new target where she was the victim or the hero. There's peace now, mostly. We have kids, so that causes an issue. Divorce might be good for you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 10:02 PM
3

Op, losing weight is a common step in the plan for divorce. We did a poll here and like 70% of responses noted sudden weight loss of their partner before the partner filed for divorce. What's the best way to re-enter the dating pool? By looking the best.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 03:57 PM
5

This is why I'm bullish on my pharma stocks. Yeah, you'll likely lose weight but don't think about stopping the prescription.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 03:54 PM
3

"I want kids but not your kids." If I had a nickel every time I heard this response.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 04:29 PM
3

I thought things got better in the dating pool after 40 but your comments make me think otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 04:27 PM
2

Dating profiles usually include "my kids come first" or something similar. What is the guy supposed to respond?
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 04:26 PM
1

Sounds like you're being abused. If you want it to stop then get therapy and/or talk to a divorce attorney. Search for probono attorneys. They are required to provide so many hours of free service to the community to retain their legal license in the USA. Obviously, don't tell your wife or her family. Also, be prepared to be called everything under the sun.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:28 PM
6

My ex-wife was a quitter. Every time, she would give a convincing excuse and I'd support her. One day, she quit on us. So, yeah.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 07:55 PM
2

Do you want more kids? Do you want to put 100% of pregnancy risk responsibilities on the other party? If you answered "no" to both of these questions, then I'd recommend getting snipped. I had the same thought process and got snipped. Now, I don't have to worry about the "I forgot my birth control" conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 03:52 PM
2

Side question. Did you ask about the single mom's ex? Or did she just randomly vent to you? I ask because my kids' mom is an awful person. My dating rule is to never talk about her unless the dating partner asks specifically about my kids' mom. If they ask, then I'm honest but I never vented. Talk nice, but honestly. I'm curious if this is the correct route or what other people do.
/r/MensRights29/08/23 02:30 PM
37

Crickets in the American media. Oddly, Americans need British media to report on American issues.
/r/MensRights29/08/23 02:16 PM
1

Female orange cats are rare. At least that's what I tell my male orange cat. Always a gentleman cat.
/r/MensRights28/08/23 05:16 PM
12

Female orange cats are rare. At least that's what I tell my male orange cat. Always a gentleman cat.
/r/MensRights28/08/23 05:16 PM
7

This is the worst part of a divorce for men. Nobody cares. Literally nobody cares. It's very lonely. Therapy helps.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 12:49 PM
7

Growing up, my parents avoided divorced families. I didn't know a single family that was divorced. My parents felt it was contagious and I think they feel the same today about my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 12:48 PM
2

My divorce attorney said prenups are not considered valid or enforceable by most judges in my area. I didn't have a prenup, but I was paying for their time so might as well ask.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 01:21 PM
19

This happened to me a few years ago. My kids hate their mother for her actions. Since she has full custody, the kids are in therapy all the time to attempt to gaslight them. She doesn't understand why the kids hate her.
/r/MensRights22/08/23 12:23 PM
11

Let's be civil guys. Everyone is at a different point in their journey. Please be supportive of differing opinions.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 02:21 PM
2

I wrote the poll half awake and before my morning coffee.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 02:20 AM
11

Multiple. Actually, more than I knew at the time. My kids were talking about mom's partners with their therapist because some were abusive.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 12:33 PM
16

In retrospect, I feel the same way. My ex always talked about 'going to go to the gym' and we even had a gym membership for 12 years. She went to the gym only when I would go. Then...all of a sudden, she started working out by herself. She wanted to lose the 'baby weight' after 3 kids and I supported her. I reminded her that she looked perfect to me, with or without the weight. Anyways, she lost about 50-75 lbs. and she filed shortly afterwards. In retrospect, I was supporting my own divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 12:27 PM
2

Some people are angry and miserable from failed relationships. Instead of working on themselves, they project their issues onto other relationships. I've seen this so many times.
/r/MensRights16/08/23 12:57 PM
3

Remember to be civil. I don't make the rules, just want this subreddit to stay open.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 08:53 PM
2

Spread the news about this subreddit.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 08:52 PM
1

Yes, block.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 03:42 PM
42

That sucks. My child support was also accidentally overcharged but it took 3 years after the court ordered a refund ...to actually get my refund without any interest or penalties. My child support officer noted that I was simply playing games but I kept repeating basic math. Anyways, this all has to end at some point. When the child turns 18, the support has to end.
/r/MensRights14/08/23 05:01 PM
36

"Supposed to" isn't what most people experience in the family court system.
/r/MensRights14/08/23 04:53 PM
7

It's the assets during the marriage that matter. The question will be asked, "okay, what happened to the assets?" Best of luck explaining that away. Judges, believe it or not, tend to have quite a bit of experience and know these hiding games.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 03:44 PM
1

I got banned from r/trueoffmychest for stating such. Best of luck, my dude.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 04:55 PM
12

The bombardment of toxic advice on TikTok
/r/MensRights07/08/23 12:54 PM
18

You find peace. Men have fought since the beginning of time for peace. Now you have it. Enjoy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 09:14 PM
–

Hey guys, let's be civil and support each other. Help mods keep this subreddit open and free.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 01:23 PM
6

Something that I have learned over the years.... people can change but you can't change people. If someone doesn't want to or doesn't need to change, then they won't.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 01:48 PM
15

Exactly, my man. My kids understand. The stepdad feels that he wins by keeping phone contact away. My kids absolutely hate him and their mom for such actions and other actions.
/r/MensRights26/07/23 03:07 PM
50

Can confirm. Bought my kids a phone and their stepdad keeps it in a safe.
/r/MensRights26/07/23 12:01 PM
7

Read the book, " Not Just Friends" by Dr. Shirley Glass. Same thing happened to me and this book really helped explain why "don't worry about him" turns into an affair.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 11:23 AM
1

Think about a second opinion. A hour of another attorney's time is worth thousands down the road.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 01:23 PM
2

Family court focuses on helping victims. Take the marital income and divide by two. Can each party continue to produce each half? If not, then that's alimony. I look at it this way. I was falsely accused during my divorce. Unfortunately, the court believed these false allegations. I was sentenced to 12 years of payments. That was 6 years ago and in 6 years, the payments will end. I find peace that there is an end date. Hope this helps.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 12:36 PM
2

OurFamilyWizard gives a timestamp when each party logs in and views messages. My ex denied receiving texts but with ofw, we provided the court with her logs of viewing and refusing communication.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 08:50 PM
3

I'm proud of your growth as a person. Absolutely, you'll be the better person.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 01:44 PM
8

When people don't want to take actions for their responsibilities, they will blame others. When people don't understand their issues, they will not grow. The 'my ex was abusive' is the standard template for ending a relationship. Nobody blames them because if true, then that's horrible. For me, I see this response as a caution flag. Did they do anything to improve themselves or their kids? Have they grown into a better person? If the answer is no to either of these questions, then this is a huge…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 12:31 PM
7

Courts side with victims. Be the bigger victim.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 03:08 PM
13

In the two years that I had my divorce attorney, she bought herself a new vehicle. Unrelated....I suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 03:51 PM
8

All in all, my divorce cost me 67% of our life savings. Out of pocket costs were well into the six figure range. 1/3 went to our lawyers, court fees, mediators, etc. 1/3 went to my ex 1/3 is what I got to keep Some say that divorces are expensive, both financially and emotionally. I can say that is true. On the other hand, I have found peace.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 03:49 PM
5

It's not your fault. Don't waste time trying to figure out other people's motives. You may never know. That is one hard sentence to accept but it helps.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 11:55 PM
1

I shouldn’t have made her look like the bad one and why should people think you’re the victim Narcs can only be the hero or victim in their own narratives. Anything else might reveal their true self. Rational persons can accept some fault; narcs cannot accept any fault.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 11:27 AM
8

So many red flags....do some research on narcissistic personality disorder. -always the hero or victim, never the villain -rewrite history to make themselves look better -seeks not just to win, but for the other party to lose -blames others for their problems (shifting blame) -seeks 3rd parties to speak on their behalf (flying monkeys) -never allows their public mask to be revealed My advice on how to approach this issue is to be honest. Google drive tracks who viewed what and when, so she might…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 04:19 PM
3

Cut all ties. You are a single parent. It's hard as hell but you can do it. Kids will have questions, but I tell my kids that they'll understand when they are older and let's just enjoy the vacation. We will talk about anything the kids want to talk about. Ask them how they are feeling and what are their thoughts. Think about seeking a therapist to work through your emotions. A therapist helped me. You need to be strong and available for your kids. If not, they will find someone or something els…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 11:30 AM
9

Get a vasectomy. That was the best investment of my life. Hindsight is 20/20 but you can still plan for your future. Looking back, I couldn't trust my ex with paying her credit card bills on time. Why did I think she would take birth control pills daily? Younger me was so silly.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 11:26 AM
1

Dude, I'm so sorry. I have no words. Look at it this way, for the last 5 years, you fought hard to be in your kids' lives. Your kids will remember you in their childhood. There is no price for that experience. *Well, this was my logic for going balls-deep into debt to be in my kids' lives.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 11:23 AM
3

Neat, thanks for contributing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 08:35 PM
2

The decision to pursue untethered truth in your reality. It's a matrix reference - https://youtu.be/zE7PKRjrid4
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 03:19 PM
3

Yes, someone keeps reporting it. Only mods get a note. It's annoying. I see nothing wrong with your comment.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 01:51 AM
1

Yes, it's a bad deal. When has anyone said, "you know, things are going great. Let's get the government and/or church involved." Everyone plans marriage, nobody plans a divorce. It takes two to get married, but only one to divorce. No-fault divorces mean sign the divorce paper Almost every person who is richer, smarter, better in every way than you has been divorced. What makes you different? Lastly, and this is important, if you decide to get married, then be ready to perpetually date the same …
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 01:43 AM
3

Mod approves this comment. Please stop reporting it. We are a community to support men.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 01:33 AM
7

Great. The point of this community is to give guys hope to survive a divorce and thrive afterwards.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 03:02 AM
6

Just sit and embrace the loneliness. It sucks but after you accept or get used to doing things alone, things will get better. I used to think about well-known and famous single men, like Keanu Reeves. Do they feel lonely? Maybe, but they know loneliness and are brave to accept it. Consider it this way. Are you afraid to do things by yourself? Why do you feel that way? Is it because you've always had someone to dependent upon? Consider reading up on co-dependency relationships and review your sit…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 12:01 PM
5

You needed fresh air to realize the gaslighting. Congrats. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 08:12 PM
0

Butt licker, our prices have never been lower!
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 06:37 PM
–

Let's be civil guys. Help the mods and be respectful.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 06:35 PM
3

When my ex starts acting like a mother, then I will encourage my kids to make a mother's day card. Right now, our kids are just monthly paycheck to her (our kids' words).
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 12:12 PM
1

I know this is hard but spend the free time working on building your new life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 12:10 PM
7

Yep, I'm burned out with CPS and my ex. Anyone who thinks CPS is for protecting children hasn't dealt with CPS. Last year, my kids told me that their step dad was abusing them. Mom denied everything. Eventually, my oldest ended up in the hospital due to internal bleeding. The hospital staff interviewed him, with me in the waiting room. Yep, I got a handful of child abuse and CPS pamphlets in case the abuse happened again. I met with mom, stepdad and CPS. Mom & stepdad kept interrupting and talki…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 12:10 PM
2

A phoenix must burn to start a new life. My prior life was burnt to a crisp. I don't recognize it or my ex anymore. That's the benefit of divorce. You have the chance to start a new life, really any life. Build what you want and everything else will fall into place. Give it time, bro.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 12:19 PM
2

No, you're correct. I need to read what I write. Protect your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 09:58 PM
2

Cut all ties and start your new life. If your ex needs smart home help, then send a bid notice. A word of caution, you are walking down domestic violence boulevard if your ex wants to mess up your life. "He controls my home via app." "He monitors my coming/going from my home." "He refuses to respect my new relationships." See how this can end badly for you? ʕ⁠ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ⁠ʔ
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 08:22 PM
2

My ex specifically requested custody for the holiday that is shared with my birthday. My attorney pointed out that my ex had no logical reason for requesting the holiday other than to guarantee that my kids won't see me on my birthday until they are 18. The court said, 'tough, you're an adult, see them the next day.' Our kids are older and ask why they can't celebrate my birthday on my birthday. Well, it's what mom wanted. ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 08:18 PM
1

People make bad decisions. We don't know why people make these bad decisions. We do know that people act out of some purpose. Maybe the new husband needs to show that he is a good role model for some reason. Who knows? Does it really matter to you anyways?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 08:14 PM
1

This is probably most correct. At some point, the savior will become the problem and the process repeats with the next guy. Keep your kids safe.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 08:09 PM
2

the middle point is not a high number. ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ That made my day.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:59 PM
13

See, here is the thing. People who cheat once will likely cheat again. My ex cheat on me. Told me it was a one time thing. It wasn't. Her affair partner moved in after we separated. They had kids. She cheated again. New guy moved in. They are planning to have more kids. Each and every case, my ex posts on social media that 'she is escaping' and a survivor.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 10:36 AM
7

It's called monkey branching. Why leave one branch until another is secure? Don't feel bad. I don't understand why some guys knowingly go after married women and break up their families.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 10:33 AM
–

Mod here. There is no record of Jasey_Cones being banned from /r/divorce_men. This sub-reddit community is here to support men going through and surviving a divorce. We ask that you be civil to help the mods keep this community open to all men.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 10:21 AM
2

Are there studies on the seven year itch? When I was trying to understand divorce, 7 years was the common relationship length.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 11:03 AM
3

Only after you leave the shadow that you understand that you were standing in darkness. Edit - we're vs. were
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 03:12 PM
2

Sir, this is Reddit. We don't host and are not associated with the men's divorce forum.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 10:46 PM
–

Let's keep it civil guys. We're not anti-women. Help the mods defend this subreddit.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 06:06 PM
11

Check out the Google doodles on that day. It's amazing. ◉⁠‿⁠◉
/r/MensRights08/03/23 06:01 PM
22

Step 1. Separate your emotions from the legal process. Step 2. Break your post into readable paragraphs. Bonus for TLDR. Step 3. Talk with an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 01:13 PM
2

I had a similar problem with my ex. She would call the police for child abduction every time she felt the kids were leaving the state (?). No proof, just felt the kids left the state. We had to get the court to include in our decree to inform the other parent when traveling out of state. As for your situation...I would just travel out of state with your child. If the ex calls the police, then you need to be more than willing to travel back to your state to exchange the child with ONLY your ex. Y…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 01:11 PM
2

Congrats! Build the life you want.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 01:16 PM
10

"Men in general were more likely than women to “swipe right” or the equivalent expression of interest: women received between 540% and 780% more indicators of interest than men." https://ifstudies.org/blog/on-internet-dating-sites-women-prefer-men-with-higher-incomes-and-more-education
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:48 PM
8

35....with 5 kids from 3 different guys. If you asked me 6-7 years ago if this was possible, then I'd say no. But today, it's kinda funny.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:05 PM
6

True. It's the white knight fantasy. I'll save you! But the thing is...you can't save someone from themselves. Cheaters will cheat. They will find enemies until they decide you are the enemy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:03 PM
1

I sleep better at night knowing that, yes, I was correct in my understanding of the dissolution. I am not a bad guy. Yes, my ex-wife was having more than one affair during our marriage. Does it help with the divorce? No. Does it help when my ex tries to paint me as a bad person? Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 01:30 PM
1

I get that brother. It's intimidating for the first time, but you've got to keep trying if that is what you want. My ex and I were each other's first for everything. Similar story to you, post-divorce dating and receiving nothing. Eventually, I did have some good luck and it was awful. I kept trying for the past 6 years and did find a special lady. Lastly, I don't know your age, but ladies are motivated differently in age groups. Take that with a grain of salt.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 01:27 PM
2

Congrats. Everyone moves at different speeds. Learning is growing. good job.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 03:34 AM
5

Yep, recently mods have been flooded with reports of inappropriate posting & comments. We've cleaned up threats of violence, excessive profanity, and low-effort trolling. Here are two recent specific examples. The first person was posting specific threats of violence against their ex and relatives. I reached out to this person and received a very profanity laced response with threats to me. That person was scrubbed. The second person was posting suspicious comments that others were reporting. I …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 01:54 PM
21

See, here is the little secret about divorces when your ex-wife was the cheater -> You are a good person. Actually, you are a great person. Think about it like this -> you were able to withstand the abuses of your ex and you still didn't step out on your marriage. That's some next level mental strength. Also, spot on, you are the ladies man. You know what it takes to be a great husband and father. You just hitched your wagon to a horse that likes to pull other wagons. That hitch is gone, and wha…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 02:55 PM
–

Let's be civil guys. I see the reports and the post stands.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 03:22 AM
–

Let's be civil, guys.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 06:22 PM
6

Bert's still alive?
/r/MensRights02/02/23 10:14 PM
1

I used to watch her tiktoks. Essentially, the advice is spend less than you earn. Sage advice from a former wall Street analyst.
/r/MensRights25/01/23 07:56 PM
5

We support men going through and thriving after a divorce over at /r/ divorce_men. Not sure if that is the type of support you're looking for but it's a nice community. Please don't ban me for this comment.
/r/MensRights23/01/23 01:47 AM
–

Locking this post due to many reports.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 01:58 AM
3

Hey, I'm reaching out. Are you okay? Your post history is riddled with requests for help (drinking issues, teaching career issues, mental health, depression, no fap, suicide, breakup, a kid born on Halloween). It sounds like a lot, especially in the last few months. Therapy helped me a lot. If you're not ready to talk, try group therapy. Just listening to others can be a starting point. Please reach out for assistance in the local Houston area.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 05:54 PM
2

I kindly ask that you edit this reply to a positive tone. Behind the scenes, Mods have to defend subreddits as "supportive, engaging and positive" communities or risk being quarantined/ shutdown by Reddit admins. I know you are trying to be supportive but this reply may be taken out of context to quarantine/shutdown our little community.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 04:58 PM
1

How can we change that? I'm curious on your input.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 12:36 PM
2

I understand that this post is intended to be encouraging and helpful to other men thinking about or going through a divorce. We appreciate it and support the community growth. On the other hand, please be nice. Lifting others up does not require putting anyone down.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 12:29 PM
4

Where will you be in 5 years? You will be 5 years older. Will you be in the same situation or better? That's really the question. It sucks. Pull the band aid off now or in 5 years? Assets. Do you trust your kid or have someone else that you trust? Gift them assets which would subtract from the marital assets. Full college fund to kid? You got it. Alimony is something to consider. Is your income significantly above or below your partner? Do you need to go part-time for a few years to take care of…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:01 AM
6

I've been a single dad for several years now. It's okay. I'm not sure why there is societal pressure to date and re-marry. I have a snuggly cat sleeping on my lap and I'm watching the snow cover the ground. Bills are paid, I have heat in my home and work is okay. All the best. That's it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 03:47 AM
6

I was a nursing assistant, earlier in my career. I was 1 of 2 males in our class of 30 students. I was always viewed with a hint of suspicion or as a 2nd class student.
/r/MensRights23/12/22 08:47 PM
0

Lol. My post is the top post for today. https://www.reddit.com/r/SingleParents/comments/zl64fh/single_dad_and_its_okay/ Edit - Top post of this week. Almost top post of the month.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 02:19 AM
2

I'll test your hypothesis. I just posted on that subreddit as a single dad. I included nothing negative, only positive in my post.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 08:36 PM
12

Yes, there are innocent people in prison right now. I support the innocence project and you should too.
/r/MensRights10/12/22 08:38 PM
1

I've locked the post; Direct message me instead.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 03:07 AM
20

This is sadly true in my experience. This is why I will never be left alone with my ex-wife. Purely, for my personal safety.
/r/MensRights05/12/22 07:23 PM
2

These are good questions to ask which means you're growing as a person.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 08:22 PM
75

Why stay married when there is a high monetary incentive to get divorced with children?
/r/MensRights30/11/22 05:04 PM
3

I got banned for being subscribed to the MGTOW subreddit. Open discussion brings inclusion; bans create echo chambers.
/r/MensRights24/11/22 11:49 PM
–

Please leave another option for the poll in the comments below.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 11:29 PM
3

This is the correct answer. Those self identifier interview questions are opinion. Try to prove that I'm not a protected HR class.
/r/MensRights15/11/22 06:29 PM
2

Thrill seeker of emotional ups and downs.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 04:48 PM
3

Yep, PTSD.
/r/MensRights01/11/22 09:08 PM
1

Can you see this comment?
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 01:10 PM
4

Judge Judy says it the best....fathers are not second class citizens. Not all courts understand this message and it'll take time, but fathers are not second class citizens. https://youtu.be/uiG8Bud_ZjY
/r/MensRights10/10/22 09:09 PM
11

It might have been the validation of finding someone and marrying them.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 12:43 AM
2

Looks nice. What's PTA? Perhaps a key or a definitions window would help with understanding the acronyms. Edit: Also related - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiG8Bud_ZjY
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 04:59 PM
20

Aye. Call your local social services office of the government. Ask for help. You will not receive help. Now, wait a few days, call back the exact same office and say that you are trying to help out your "sister" who needs assistance. You will get help. I've straight up received offers for free gas cards, free grocery store cards, free auto repair, free housing vouchers, etc. In the end, I had to say that actually I needed help. Wow...sorry, sir we can't help you or your kids. Good luck.
/r/MensRights26/09/22 08:12 PM
11

White knight via gaslighting. I don't fault them for it because I fell for it too and I have a handful of grad degrees. At some point, they have all realized that I'm not a bad person. I literally have to do nothing other than being myself. Meanwhile, my ex has to keep up the mirage of me being the boogie man. Like I said, I feel bad for the new husband.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 11:01 PM
16

I had the opposite happen. She remarried and still badmouths me "all the time", according to our kids. I feel bad for her new husband.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 08:38 PM
1

This one shows as user deleted.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 04:16 PM
1

Can you see this comment?
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 04:16 PM
26

I identify as a woman on all interview questions.
/r/MensRights13/09/22 02:58 AM
48

As a man, I identify as a woman in my HR records. Nobody has ever asked or questioned it.
/r/MensRights05/09/22 09:11 PM
25

It takes two persons to get married and one to get divorced. You can't stop a divorce. my attorney
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 02:08 AM
2

No prob, I do see it under 'new', so maybe give it some time for others to review and comment. We have a supportive little community for men going through and surviving a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 03:07 PM
1

File a police report for the assault. Start the paper trail. Don't let it turn into he said/ she said situation. I'm sorry you are going through this. Be the dad you want your daughters to be proud of. You can do this.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 02:29 PM
2

Can you see my comment? I can see your post. Might be a delay?
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 02:25 PM
6

I am not this father. I can share my 2022 experience in Minnesota. When I reported to CPS, I was told that an investigation will be open AGAINST me because "dads are always investigated." When several mandated reporters make similar and independent reports, CPS asked mom if they are true. When I follow up about these mandated reports, CPS refuses to answer my communications because "dad is causing 'issues' for mom" and the children continue to be abused.
/r/MensRights13/08/22 03:00 PM
17

This is depressing.
/r/MensRights12/08/22 02:18 PM
2

I can see this one too. I don't know, but Reddit filtering goes bananas sometimes. Please keep posting and being involved in our little community.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 03:08 AM
2

I can see your posts.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 03:06 AM
1

No idea.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/22 06:27 PM
1

Done.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/22 06:20 PM
2

Liked.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/22 06:20 PM
1

Hold up /u/aie-m, we can see your posts and respond to them. To my knowledge, Mods haven't changed anything. I don't know.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/22 05:54 PM
3

I only know about user specific bans where someone starts posting hate, spam, porn, etc. Reddit also has general filters based on user IP addresses (I think this is in the TOS) based on usage or whatnot. I don't believe we have any other filter because we want to be an open community to support men going through and thriving from a divorce. I don't know; I'm trying tho. :)
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/22 05:51 PM
1

There are only disincentives to rewrite the language. I get it. I've called for help and was straight up told that I'd be investigated because I'm male.
/r/MensRights18/07/22 11:36 AM
1

Research the Duluth wheel of abuse....most law enforcement still uses this as the gold standard in training on handling domestic situations.
/r/MensRights17/07/22 11:51 PM
–

This subreddit is for supporting men going through and recovering from a divorce. We do not tolerate trolls or bullying. Please be kind to each other. I'm locking this post.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 01:17 AM
6

The Duluth Wheel of Abuse is still taught as the gold standard for domestic abuse in the USA. Look it up. Sorry from Minnesota.
/r/MensRights15/07/22 04:14 PM
47

Most HR training is about men vs. women. In my experience, women are much harder on other women. Heck, I've had women ask other women during an interview, if they're planning on starting a family. I had to shut down those interview questions fast.
/r/MensRights09/07/22 11:48 PM
1

Ah, that makes more sense.
/r/MensRights01/07/22 01:40 PM
0

The poster was referencing a roommate situation. This case was about statutory rape...which is not the same.
/r/MensRights01/07/22 01:00 PM
7

If you don't want kids, then get a vasectomy. If you want kids, then don't get a vasectomy. Life is about choices. Some choices are irreversible. It's your body; it's your choice.
/r/MensRights01/07/22 11:39 AM
0

In the U.S. you have : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermesmann_v._Seyer Feminist already had a kid and was unable to secure child support, no problems, all she needs to do is roommate with a dude for a while and tell the court the guy became a fatherly figure for the child, ... and boom : Child support. Did you read the wiki article, specifically this piece? "The court held that the admitted facts established that, because being under 16 he had been legally unable to consent to sex, a crime aga…
/r/MensRights01/07/22 11:35 AM
2

There's currently a lot of discussion on /r/TwoXChromosomes about vasectomies in the post Roe v. Wade world. As a man who has had a vasectomy, I would like to share my opinion and insight. Unfortunately, I have been banned due to my membership in male support groups on Reddit. Shrugs shoulders
/r/MensRights01/07/22 11:25 AM
1

Research the Duluth wheel of abuse. Most courts and law enforcement follow this template for domestic situations. It's not fair. It's not the best for the children.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 12:22 PM
5

Ask an attorney. Hire a PI to serve the Ex.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 06:29 PM
2

This is more common than you think. Insecure persons do not like to be alone. It's sometimes called "monkey-branching" when there is a short or no alone time between relationships. Also, the stats between men and women on dating apps is crazy skewed. Don't take this personally. As for you, figure out what you want. Take some time. You be you. You support your daughter. No one will replace you in your daughter's life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 06:26 PM
2

Is this real?
/r/MensRights16/06/22 01:48 AM
61

Yep....and that's how the legal framework was built. In my state (Minnesota), our justice system follows the Duluth Model which assigns females as victims and males as aggressors in every domestic incident with law enforcement. For reference, https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/ .
/r/MensRights09/06/22 08:46 AM
1

I know a Kevin who tends to be home alone during the holidays. A couple of burglars cause some hijinks but it's okay.
/r/MensRights31/05/22 06:24 PM
2

This community is to support men going through the divorce journey. All are welcome, but that's the focus.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 06:00 PM
3

Why Minnesota again? Seriously, we're good people here. Not unrelated - https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/
/r/MensRights22/05/22 07:34 PM
1

Apply for child support based on your lower income....like right now. Then, you may not need to take a job that you hate AND you get to spend time with your kid. It's an idea.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 09:08 PM
1

Get a copy of the titles AND any outstanding loans. My ex took out a high interest car loan right before our court date and tried to subtract that from the value of the car. The judge assigned the loan solely to her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 09:04 PM
3

Yep. There are online child support calculators that will tell you exactly what the state expects you to pay....every month... Heck, my judge just printed out the online calculator and included it in our settlement. The numbers were a bit fudged in our favor (<$50) because of a typing error into the online calculator.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 09:02 PM
2

the years of gaslighting and BPD I worked so hard to break away from. This. focus on this. Focus on your healing. Be strong for your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 08:56 PM
5

I have no idea. :(
/r/MensRights19/05/22 01:24 AM
8

It's better than nothing. A low bar...but it's something.
/r/MensRights18/05/22 09:51 PM
1

Life sometimes requires irreversible choices. Make a decision and live with it. I'd highly recommend getting a vasectomy for any guy not wanting kids. Most states have online child support calculators. For most of us, $200k a month is too high. At any rate, use the online calculator to figure out your minimum personal "cost" of not getting a vasectomy.
/r/MensRights16/05/22 12:04 PM
4

Vasectomy. It's an easy and maybe free way to ensure some say in the reproduction process.
/r/MensRights15/05/22 04:33 PM
1

I didn't switch. I lost legal custody. We ended up with 43/57 plus I get a few hours during her parenting time. Olmsted County. Looking back, I should have switched but then again that may have made things worse. I don't know. Search for 'father's rights' attorneys in Minnesota. There were a few in the twin cities that I talked with afterwards and were really one the ball. At the time, it would have cost me 2-3 hour minimum for every court hearing that a twin cities attorney would need to attend…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 11:27 AM
9

This community is for men going through and surviving a divorce. We support one another. It's a nice community.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 09:39 PM
1

USPS also has informed delivery which takes a picture of all your mail. I should have mentioned that I was researching years ago. Like you mentioned there are now workarounds.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 04:53 PM
2

I had the same idea when I was going through my divorce. I have kids, which this idea would have been fatal for a custody battle. Since you don't have kids. The other obstacles that I researched were (1) work/income opportunities and (2) receiving USPS mail. After the pandemic, these don't seem like big obstacles. Also, /r/vandwellers is a really helpful subreddit for people that chose to live in vans/rvs/etc. tdlr - Based on what you shared; I'd say go for it. Life is short, focus on you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 12:04 PM
5

This is textbook preparation for a custody battle. I'd consider filing for a restraining order for the kids against the mom. She seems to have alcohol dependency issues, based on what you shared. In a custody battle, the court will likely look into who has actually seen each parent with the kids. One strategy is to isolate the parent from grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. to make the argument that no-one has seen that parent with the kids. This seems like a toxic environment, leading to divorce.…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 11:12 AM
–

Hey guys....just a reminder we are not anti-women or pro-divorce. We are here to support other men going through the divorce journey. I support Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) but we need to walk the fine line of support vs. detriments.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 12:09 PM
2

We are here to support men going through the divorce journey. That's our mission statement.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 01:00 AM
2

I haven't been banned from that subreddit. I figure that I can't help everyone and some persons are not within a reasonable range of reality....so I don't comment.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 12:59 AM
6

Great question. Both my ex and work in healthcare and here is how we split things up. For the 401K (or 403B for nonprofit), the value is totaled and split in half. For the pension, the pension administrator (i.e. employer) will provide the actuary value and that will be split in half. In your case, the total value of your 401K and the actuary value of her pension is divided by two. If you have more in your 401K than your half, then you pay her. If she has more in her actuary value than her half,…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/22 02:47 PM
–

credit to /u/askingforafreddit Talk it through with someone. Text CHAT to 741741 to reach Crisis Text Line National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 r/SuicideWatch. There are folks out there to help you through this. The biggest shame would be in not asking for that help first.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 10:33 PM
2

These are plans for an exit strategy. It's common.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 03:13 AM
2

Where are you located? That would be helpful in giving you advice.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 04:29 AM
72

I joined mgtow at the very beginning. The subreddit was really about improving men's lives and not being forced into a life they didn't want. Men go their own way. It was great. Fast-forward a bit and I don't know what happened. The subreddit is gone and I'm shadow banned from many other subreddits based on mgtow membership. I'd be open to joining or starting a subreddit that promotes men going their own way and choosing their own destiny. Men should be able to decide that they want to be single…
/r/MensRights14/03/22 04:01 PM
4

Exactly. My therapist called them waves. Some days are bigger and badder than others. There are some smaller and better days. Eventually, the waves decrease over time. It's a journey. Learn as you go.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 05:38 PM
8

At some point, things stop sucking and you can rebuild. Wait for that moment. Everything gets better from there. Post-divorce. It sucks. Then it sucks less. Finally, things get better. This time, you build the life you want to live. Everyone makes mistakes. It happens. Get back up and punch life back. You got this, bro.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 05:28 PM
1

Ah, that makes sense. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/22 03:42 AM
1

Why?
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/22 03:33 AM
2

Really depends on the age range. Older persons are more accepting than younger folk to have a family already started. Be prepared to be ghosted if you withhold info. On the other hand, be prepared to receive very few matches as a parent. It's possible, just more difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/22 03:32 AM
3

Take a moment. Build the life that you want. Then, people with similar interests will enter your life. You may even find a match. If not, that's fine too (you've built a great life anyways).
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/22 03:27 AM
7

Better yet, talk to the principal. Physically get out of the car and wait at the school exit area. If the kids don't show up, then walk in and talk to the principal. When I did this, the principal tipped off the other parent who pulled the kids out of school a couple of hours early. I walked in, the principal explained what happened. Yadda, yadda, hands tied. A couple of days of these shenanigans is enough documented proof that the other parent would rather see the kids miss school than spend ti…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/22 12:20 AM
51

Identify as female. Problem solved. There is no way to prove otherwise how someone identifies their gender. Discrimination is not fun. Source - I work in healthcare.
/r/MensRights05/03/22 02:25 PM
7

Mod here. It's helpful to have a son's perspective on divorce. We're here to support men (including sons) with divorce. Thank you for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/22 11:06 PM
6

Actually, I found this fun little trick on my Google home. Ask Google for a fact about women's history. Google will return with an interesting fact. Ask Google for a fact about men's history. Google will not return any information.
/r/MensRights20/02/22 04:43 AM
3

Around 90-95% of social work funding in my county goes to local women's groups. I'm in Minnesota. Yes, it's 2022. Source - gov't public filings - e.g. IRS Forms 990.
/r/MensRights18/02/22 09:53 PM
1

Why would anyone report this post?
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 11:11 PM
1

What's AA?
/r/MensRights22/01/22 03:17 AM
8

Let's see. I'm in Minnesota and police are continually hit with bad press and they really don't care. Heck, this morning, there was a front page article about an officer on trial for killing a man by confusing a taser with a real gun. I support the police because they're people too....but they really don't care about bad press (at least where I live).
/r/MensRights09/12/21 06:42 PM
3

I like your spirit.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/21 04:12 AM
14

Yep, emotion weighs heavier than logic and facts.
/r/MensRights15/11/21 01:05 AM
3

Doesn't really matter on our end. It sucks to explain multiple last names for the other party.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/21 02:25 AM
3

Sorry from Minnesota.
/r/MensRights05/11/21 04:40 AM
0

/r/NarcAbuseAndDivorce
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 01:31 AM
1

Get a clearer head, bro. Narcs are very tricky to trust. Get 'discussions' in writing before things turn sour. Narcs don't like to look bad; they will shift blame. They will air your dirty laundry to make them seem like a victim or a hero, never a villain. Look up 'Duluth Wheel of Control' (which is still used today in family courts) and think whether any of these could be used against you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 01:27 AM
1

This is oddly similar. I used to be depressed and it sucked. Depression is a daily battle, but the battles are easier outside of a toxic relationship. Go talk with a therapist. They might not give you the answers but talking through your situation might help you out. Also, go to the same therapist ATLEAST 3-4 times before deciding to change therapists or keep them. After you have a clearer head (narcs love gas lighting), think about talking to a family attorney. Take what they say with a grain o…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 01:18 AM
5

Classic strategy. Here is a bit of advice. Before researching 'narcissism' and whether you are married to one, write down your core values, strengths, weaknesses, what you value in life, etc. Very important to write it down. Then when you start researching, you won't fall into self-doubt or rationalization of being married to a narc. There are also quite a few narc subreddits. Please stay within our community but also check out the narc subreddits.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 01:10 AM
5

Equality across the board.
/r/MensRights15/10/21 01:57 AM
0

See, there is light at the end of the tunnel. In my state, we have the equal parenting doctrine which means both mom and dad have equal say in the kid's life. Unfortunately, there are still judges that learned under the tender years doctrine which means only mom has the best interests and dad is a participant. Give it time. More attorneys will learn under the equal parenting doctrine, later become judges, and finally children will not lose great dads.
/r/MensRights02/10/21 09:15 PM
46

Some? Unfortunately, this is too common. Look up "tender years doctrine."
/r/MensRights02/10/21 05:52 PM
1

It's not your fault. The other party chose that decision. Dwelling on the past leaves little room for the future. All the best.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 09:44 PM
-1

Locking down the post due to inappropriate responses.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 04:45 PM
2

Maybe. It would have to be a much better deal for the risk of a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 03:44 AM
0

Can you cite this stat?
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/21 12:59 PM
51

*Duress
/r/MensRights10/09/21 12:57 PM
8

First mover advantage. This sounds like emotional abuse. No one should live in constant fear with threats. Consult an attorney would can lay out your options for you. Most pointedly, in divorce, there is a first mover advantage. For me, paying a couple hundred bucks to talk with an attorney is worth a good night sleep. Knowing your options might be helpful. Lastly, I know that society tries to paint family attorneys as 'pro-divorce' but in my experience, this really isn't the case. Most attorney…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 01:49 PM
4

Yes, you don't have to incriminate yourself. Tattletale on yourself is not automatically inadmissible. This is fundamental to police interrogation. Get the suspect to describe the crime with details that only the guilty would likely know. Then 'box them in' for a full admission of the crime.
/r/MensRights05/09/21 10:06 PM
5

My attorney had a realtor give us a market analysis. The realtor essentially told me that I overpaid for the home 8 years prior and the market finally caught up to what I paid. The market estimate was very close to what I paid. My attorney buried the estimate and it was never disclosed to my ex-wife. My ex-wife was paranoid that we were preparing a large bump in the home value because she wanted the home (I didn't). As a result, she hired a professional appraiser who did a very detailed job. Thi…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/21 03:36 AM
1

We are all equal, some are just more equal. - Animal Farm
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/21 02:40 AM
3

I had to think about this reference... it's Bill orielly? I'll do it live!
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/21 02:32 AM
2

Exactly. It's waves. The key is to remember that this wave too will pass.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/21 01:44 AM
2

It's okay, please vent.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/21 02:21 AM
1

Hey, I'm very happy for you. If you every need support, then please feel free to return to this community. Remember two things. 1. Real men ask for help and 2. Divorce comes/goes in waves. All the best.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/21 01:51 AM
2

Yes, grey rock method. My ex gets angrier when I ignore her games and focus on the kids. Honestly, I'm too tired to play games anymore so she is really just arguing with herself.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/21 01:47 AM
1

Unless there is child support involved. It might be cheaper to stay together for the child support. Check out the state calculators online for estimated child support. Also consider whether being called a 'non-provider' now will translate into 90/10 custody situation (more child support).
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/21 01:45 AM
7

Wherever men are in their journey, we are here to support. :)
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/21 10:19 PM
4

What's his selling point? Man, that guy must be drinking the coffee for closers.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/21 10:18 PM
2

Someday, your boys will be men. At that point, you wouldn't be seeing them everyday anyways. This thought probably doesn't help you. One of the things that I learned from my divorce is that it forces an early end to childhood. This is a cost of the journey. I don't have any good advice, but I try to think about my kids grown up. Holidays are split between the households, similar to if they were adults and had to split the holidays with the in-laws.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/21 09:39 PM
1

All the best.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/21 08:56 PM
3

It depends if kids are involved. If kids are involved then it really never goes away, but just fades away. If kids are not involved, then I don't know.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/21 06:18 PM
8

I love Plenty of Fish but for a different reason. My ex was trying to paint me as a controlling and stalking person to the court. She even falsely claimed that I was 'cyberstalking' and claimed that I 'hacked Google and Facebook to stalk her' on her phone. None of this was true. Anyways....I was feeling depressed going through my divorce. I was seeking female validation and signed up for Plenty of Fish. There is a funny thing about Plenty of Fish....each user can see who viewed their profile. I …
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/21 06:16 PM
2

Exactly. I'm in the <35 crowd. I'm experiencing mostly the group that wants to start a family OR the group that don't want kids. Neither is really a fit for me and my 3 kiddos. This is fine with me. I'll continue to work on myself. I have very little incentive to date again and marriage has little value today in practical terms outside of societal guilt. Yeah, I get lonely but I'm planning to adopt a cat. Cats are notorious asshats but that's okay with me. All the best.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 12:20 PM
1

I agree, but I'm a cat person. My ex was allergic to cats but I've always wanted a cat since my childhood kitty ran away from home when I was <10.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 03:16 AM
1

Thanks for the visual. It gets better. I noticed the "stbxw" and not "exw". There is a difference when everything is settled. Keep being there for your kids. That's number 1.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/21 01:27 AM
1

Comment
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/21 09:29 PM
9

Hey, you're valuable as you.
/r/MensRights25/06/21 12:29 PM
113

Body found vs. victim found. A guy was cut up and his body parts were found throughout the yards of a city block in my state, a few weeks ago. I think the news called the situation "body found" instead of "victim found".... different words mean a lot.
/r/MensRights25/06/21 12:28 PM
2

It might also be set by the hospital within the state. For example - https://www.newsweek.com/father-surprised-learn-he-cant-gain-access-12-year-old-daughters-medical-1306400
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/21 01:35 AM
3

This is good advice. :)
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/21 01:42 PM
60

This was my experience as a man seeking mental health assistance. One female therapist told me to "man up" for my issues.
/r/MensRights31/05/21 11:19 PM
4

Legal liability = 18 years of support + medical.
/r/askTRP26/05/21 06:56 AM
2

This comment is underrated.
/r/askTRP18/05/21 08:25 AM
8

I wonder if the foundation will be renamed.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/21 11:24 PM
3

Hey, spread the word. Mods are open to advertising or however to get the word out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/21 11:02 PM
1

My comment was reported....to me. I'm not sure if this was serious or a joke. If serious, then please DM me. If a joke, then thanks for the laugh.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/21 03:06 PM
2

Mod here - I'm locking this post down. Please read our rules. There's quite a few reports on this thread. I'm leaving it up, as I think we should be pro-information. On the other hand, we are not anti-women (see rules). Let's support each other, guys.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/21 02:17 AM
1

Automatic bans are the exact opposite of open forums. Specifically, replying in one subreddit and getting auto-banned in several unrelated subreddits.
/r/MensRights19/04/21 12:04 PM
2

Note. There is a difference between being in a relationship and getting married. One doesn't always lead to the other and there is no requirement. I have yet to read anything that states that marriage is a requirement. In my opinion, its a contract that has a negative value for independent and self-sufficient persons. There are rare cases, like someone having better healthcare than a partner, but that has to be weighed against a lifetime contract.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 12:22 PM
3

Give it time. Find out who you want to be. Then be that person. Eventually, the right match will come along.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/21 11:48 AM
1

Only you know when it's time to start dating. It's okay if you jump in too late or early. It's a learning process.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/21 11:47 AM
1

Please ask before posting research studies. Mod approved.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/21 04:34 AM
2

Can you disclose where you practice? Country/state? From my experience, this varies widely.
/r/MensRights22/03/21 07:16 PM
4

I really don't what happened to me to happen to anyone else. Shifting public perception via research is one way.
/r/MensRights20/03/21 03:27 PM
8

How do we support these researchers? I'm a victim of domestic violence but because I'm male, I'm the one that got the kids taken away.
/r/MensRights20/03/21 01:57 PM
1

Sometimes, I honestly don't understand my own taxes. Source: I'm a tax CPA
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/21 01:37 AM
9

The part that grinds my gears is the FACT that you can't even ask questions without repercussions. That just doesn't sit right.
/r/MensRights27/02/21 07:31 PM
62

Yeah, a similar statistic was shared at a recent company meeting. Of course, you can't ask questions without commiting career suicide. Let's celebrate diversity.
/r/MensRights27/02/21 02:17 PM
5

I'm not sure why you're being downvoted. Here's my upvote. Every situation is different and we should support every divorced man. Let's not judge negativity, but support each other. We're not alone on this journey. :)
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/21 06:22 PM
4

If it helps...your story sounds a lot like mine. I'm a few years down the road. I got married young and had kids. When we were dating, things were great (or though I thought). When we got married, things changed and I was responsible for her entertainment and happiness. 'Happy wife, happy life.' After a year of marriage, I received the ultimatum of 'let's have a kid or get divorced' and I chose to have a kid. 'Marriage is for having children.' I wasn't sure that I wanted kids but I definitely di…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/21 11:12 PM
3

Take this bit of advice. In the long term, children amplify issues in a relationship. Speak your truth and be true to yourself. If your true self is saying no, then say no. Leave it up to your wife to decide to file for divorce. Ask yourself, why does she want to have a child? If your wife is giving you an ultimatum about having a child, then she has already considered divorce as a viable option. Does it make sense to forever tie your wagon to someone (i.e. have a kid together) that is reasonabl…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/21 10:44 PM
3

Yep, it's validation and self-assurance that the decisions made were correct. Also, both sides have toxic people.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/20 02:46 AM
1

How do I donate to this researcher or his research?
/r/MensRights20/12/20 04:56 AM
2

You don't know the strength of a bridge until it collapses. I've been through some real stress tests and sounds like you are going through something similar. Hang in there, you're built for this stress test.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/20 01:03 PM
1

I feel that I should put a poll or something.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/20 04:45 AM
8

I still think it's odd that the draft in the USA only applies to men...yep, that's the disposable gender. :(
/r/MensRights08/12/20 04:16 AM
5

"I chose to not identify." -- I always check this box.
/r/MensRights06/12/20 07:35 PM
96

In Minnesota, USA. Similar happened to me. I requested free legal services because I can't afford my private attorney anymore. Nope. My ex-wife was already registered through the women's shelter and thus, I was excluded from the free legal clinic.
/r/MensRights03/12/20 02:15 PM
1

I don't know, man. Seems like a template.
/r/MensRights02/12/20 10:47 PM
3

It's like a wave. At first, the waves of pain are large. Over time, the waves get smaller. At some point, it become unrecognizable but never really goes away. All the best!
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/20 06:33 PM
2

Rochester, MN. There was only one news place covering the story. Sorry.
/r/MensRights02/12/20 03:56 PM
1

There is great advice here, by the other posters. Take time for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/20 03:23 AM
1

It's different now. Kids make mistakes. It sucks that divorce changes things such as birthdays. You will still be turning 45 when you see your kids next. Keep your chin up. You love your kids. Keep being a great dad.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/20 05:12 AM
4

As I'm from Minnesota, I'm truly sorry.
/r/MensRights16/09/20 05:54 PM
27

In the USA, I have been told by police that I'd be arrested if I called them for help during a domestic situation. "Someone has got to go to jail."
/r/MensRights16/09/20 02:09 PM
1

I lost most everything in my divorce but I sleep at night knowing that I fought as hard as I could. Positive story -> I'm doing okay. I feel bad for the ex-wife and her new husband / newborn. My kids are adjusting. They are figuring out who is telling the truth and who is lying. It just takes time. Now, it's just rebuilding time. I'm rebuilding my life....the way that I want it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/20 02:21 AM
1

Nah, I waited but I was the spouse that was surprised by my ex's infidelity and divorce filings. I guess that I'm still waiting but that's okay, too. It's up to you, whatever works. Go slow.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/20 11:44 PM
1

This is perfectly normal feelings. Stick to the basics. If you go too far into details, then you sound like a sad sack not over your ex. Nobody wants that. Big red flag if they do. If you don't mention the basics, then yes, you are correct that this might be a time bomb. Here is the thing that you need to remember, there are oodles of wonderful dates out there. Someone loved you enough to marry you. It didn't work out. Now, someone will likely love you enough to date you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/20 04:27 AM
2

This is really good advice. I kept calm with our parenting time expeditor and finally got a decision. The decision was in my favor. You are absolutely correct. Don't show irritation or anger...that fits so perfectly with the anti-dad template.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/20 02:04 AM
54

Need to avoid self!
/r/MensRights03/09/20 06:28 PM
47

I spent my kids full college fund....just to be in their lives. I still lost legal custody because the mother didn't want to share. That's life as a single dad. Shut up and pay up.
/r/MensRights01/09/20 12:51 AM
1

Well put
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/20 07:48 PM
4

Congrats! Try to limit your gymnastics for the next week! :)
/r/askTRP16/08/20 01:30 AM
15

I'm buying stock in Colgate Palmolive on Monday.
/r/MensRights16/08/20 01:14 AM
5

It's difficult to give real good advice for considering divorce in a post. Divorce is tough and tricky. Emotions make decisions difficult. Think about it this way. Put yourself in the future 10 years. Where are you at? Where are you living? Who are you with? What are you doing? Is it going to be the same or different than the present state? Talking about divorce is a clear idea that the present state is not working. It might not be you and it might not be your partner. At any rate, it is somethi…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/20 03:57 AM
1

Remember to date carefully after a divorce. There are many new red flags, that you may have not seen before. I think that being over 50 without kids is not a red flag. I think that being over 50 with a newborn might be a red flag because that kid will be college age when they are in retirement.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/20 08:06 PM
2

Good bot
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/20 03:45 PM
1

Zoints! I would have got away with it, if it weren't for you pesky teenagers! Yeah, it sucks but you're correct.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/20 03:27 PM
5

I feel bad for the fresh prince. He is a stand-up guy. It just makes me feel bad.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/20 04:19 PM
1

Sunk Cost Fallacy. Don't feel bad either way.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/20 02:25 PM
1

*should Yes, that makes sense but not state law. It sucks. It's a guessing game.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/20 11:55 PM
1

No child care has been used since March and there are no plans to go do going forward. Yet, I am paying $1200 a month specifically for child care only. This would be a change in circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/20 11:22 PM
1

Document everything. CPS is required to document everything. Send stuff via email to document. If CPS 'forgets' to document, then bring it up as incompetence.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/20 11:41 AM
4

I strongly recommend a vasectomy. It's your body; it's your choice. Here is my experience with a post-divorce vasectomy - https://www.reddit.com/r/Vasectomy/comments/hl3y4h/my_positive_experience/
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/20 11:40 AM
6

What I would give to be in your shoes... Invest in yourself and retirement. Don't get serious in a relationship for another 7-10 years.
/r/askTRP09/07/20 02:21 AM
6

Check out psych majors....
/r/askTRP08/07/20 11:07 PM
13

TLDR - When the tide goes out, you will see who is naked. A divorce shows who is real and isn't real. People don't like to get involved in uncomfortable situations. That's a fact. As others have mentioned, divorce shows you who your real friends are. I had close 'friends' testify that I was a bad dad based solely on what my ex told them. Their testimony fell apart when asked to provide a single example of their false claims. On the other side, I found out that my co-workers would take a f*cking …
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/20 02:22 PM
1

Seriously, this sounds like my ex-wife. She threatened me at my workplace with a HIPAA violation for calling our health provider about our kids (we both work in healthcare). Here is a bit of advice. It helped me open my eyes about the reality of my ex. Research 'Narcissist Personality Disorder' and compare your ex's actions. Also, keep recording everything. Courts tend to side with victims; don't let your ex make up victim stories. Does this sound familiar? Unable to settle disagreements or comp…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/20 01:06 PM
2

Ah, so the fake nanny was to undercut your involvement with the kids. Here is an idea. Subpoena the nanny or ask the court to require the contact info for the nanny. How is God's good grace would someone hire a nanny without their contact info? You have the right to your kid's information. You can clearly are involved with your kid. Be prepared to show it. Unfortunately, the court may be believing in the fake nanny to calm the waters. My ex did similar. There is an assumption that childcare is r…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/20 02:19 AM
2

Maybe, later 30s. I can say that the early 30s are mixed with those that 'need a father for my kids' and 'never wanted kids'. It's a very difficult environment for divorced dads.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/20 01:23 AM
2

Why would the ex create a fake nanny? This would be helpful to know in order to be helpful. My ex signs our kids up for the most expensive child care right before we take her to court. She then uses that amount as a basis for higher child care payments from me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/20 01:20 AM
2

Almost everyone has an incentive to make the divorce process as slow as possible. Sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/20 01:15 AM
2

That was his name-o!
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/20 12:39 PM
2

My ex-wife gave me the 'I think you should move out speech' while I was grilling in the backyard with our then toddlers. I didn't know what to say. It was the last time that I grilled. To be fair, my ex-wife would always say crazy stuff to get a reaction. So, I just laughed and said 'sounds good, when's he moving in?' Her affair partner moved in shortly after I moved out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/20 03:00 AM
1

How fast do you have to be traveling to kill 6 people in a minivan?
/r/askTRP30/06/20 04:54 PM
5

Not all those that wander are lost. :)
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/20 12:47 PM
6

This. If she can't provide it, then argue that you can't provide it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/20 04:50 PM
3

This took me a failed marriage to understand this concept. FML - I'm on my 3rd grad degree in my 30s, and sometimes, I'm just dumb.
/r/askTRP27/06/20 09:18 PM
8

Jim who?
/r/askTRP26/06/20 11:57 PM
1

:)
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 03:46 PM
1

Think about it this way. Your judge probably knows your attorney. Small pond of family attorneys. Judge will likely question why you are changing attorneys. Be sure to have a better excuse than 'not getting the right results.' The longer a divorce drags out, the more an attorney earns. Why make the process quick and easy? You can still consult with more than one attorney to see if your attorney is on the right path. I did this a bit. It may cost more now, but I sleep better at night knowing that…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 03:35 PM
1

Go to court. My ex-wife stopped responding to her attorney a few days before trial.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 03:31 PM
1

Don't move out or you will lose the house. Expect the ex to trash the house for any reasonable value appraisal. Think to yourself if this is what you want for you and your kids. Then make the first filing. Set the precedence.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 03:30 PM
1

If you have sole legal custody, then you get to decide child care. That's it. I'm on the other side of this battle. My ex received sole legal custody. The kids have had 10-12 different child care providers in < 3 years. Each time the child care provider gets to talking with me, my ex changes the provider. I have to pay for child care during my parenting time in addition to court ordered child care payments. My ex refuses to schedule any child care for me cites that she is confused about my calen…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 03:28 PM
1

Hey, this sucks. It's dad's guilt and shame. How is the best way to re-invent yourself? Cut off everyone from your past and invent your backstory. My advice is to give it time. 7 months is a long time. Keep being an awesome child. You may not ever understand why a dad would do this to his kids, but you can still love him (if you want). It might be helpful to look into narcissism. This is common for people with narcissism to re-invent the past, to make themselves seem better than real life. WARNI…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 03:18 PM
2

I'm going to guess that if there is a termination based on co-habitation, the ex will likely try to hide it. My attorney hired a private eye to show that a drug user was living with my ex-wife and kids. She denied everything in court. She was handed photos in court, but still denied everything under oath. We weren't dealing with alimony but only custody. Sorry I can't help much more.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 03:12 PM
2

Keep busy and eventually she will fade away in your memories. It's probably tough living in the same house, but you do get to see the kids. Think about it this way. When I was in high school, I thought about the 'good ol days in grade school'. When I was in college, I thought about the 'good ol days in high school'. When I entered the office world, I thought about the 'good ol days in college.' Things fade over time. Everyone struggles with change, even if they don't want to admit it. That's oka…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 03:08 PM
3

Here is 3 bits of advice that have helped me (my ex-wife cheated, lied, re-married, had another kid, and ongoing custody battle) This is NOT your fault. I'm guessing that like my ex-wife, your ex-wife didn't talk about sleeping around with you beforehand. Shop around for YOUR therapist. Like all professions, some therapists are just shit. Reddit is a great community, but a face-to-face is priceless. You will ALWAYS be your daughter's father. Be there for her. Show her what a stable, responsible,…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 02:55 PM
1

This is classic narcissism. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/20 12:06 PM
14

In Minnesota, in 2019... The police told me that if I call them again about my ex wife stalking and harassing me, then "someone" is going to get arrested. The police said, they can't waste time on non-arrest calls. To be fair, these were male police officers. The female police officer gave me a domestic violence calling card.
/r/MensRights03/06/20 03:10 PM
4

Kids will grow into adults. They will be adults longer than they were kids. Think about those relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/20 04:29 AM
1

It sucks. It really does. You are taking the right steps. Keep fighting the good fight.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/20 12:05 AM
3

Two party state? Or, one party state? If in two party, inform the police that you think your calls are being recorded without your consent and be sure to have in writing how you know (otherwise, the ex will deny it). I honestly don't know how people get away with micromanaging the other parent. I feel bad for everyone in these situations.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/20 12:03 AM
1

Hate is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I like you attitude. Cheers to the next decade of life.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/20 10:31 PM
1

It'll hurt for a while. It sucks when you go on a date and all you have is memories of your ex. I just felt bad for the person sitting on the other side of the table. Often times, I just went on a date for the fancy food at high end restaurants (I'm a foodie). The thing is that everyone has baggage from prior relationships. The key point, in my opinion, is whether you want to think about memories or make new memories. It's tough for guys. We need to show confidence and take the lead. My advice: …
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/20 01:53 AM
-14

Wait, airports are open? Edit: it's an honest question. I don't understand the down votes.
/r/MensRights18/05/20 03:38 PM
2

I'd buy stock in flex seal.
/r/MensRights11/05/20 07:40 PM
0

I don't check posting history but just upvote....and I get downvoted.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/20 03:19 PM
-4

Here's an upvote
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/20 06:56 AM
1

I like to watch horror movies or mind twisting movies. For example, I watched the remake of Stephen King's IT and laughed through it. I thought to myself, this clown isn't scary. Going through a divorce and losing my kids is scary shit.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/20 04:36 AM
1

Do you want to start a Twitch channel or something? I have thought about doing a "Men Coaching" or "Men Support" for guys going through divorce. Something like, here is a phone number to call and just talk through stuff. No advice/counseling. Just men talking. Once or twice a week for a couple of hours. Any thoughts?
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/20 04:34 AM
3

In my state, Minnesota, the court has the sole decision to either keep or throw out the prenuptial agreement. In other words, it's useless in my state. All the best.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/20 03:25 AM
2

This is amazing. Congrats!
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/20 11:43 PM
2

Cut this list down to (maybe) your top 3. Everything else should be treated as a bonus, if there is time. Most people will get exhausted after an hour and not mediate. Knock the important items out and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/20 04:47 AM
3

No, it's not about you. It's her attempt to keep you as a backup in case she drowns. Protip: Focus on you. You deserve to be #1 in someone's heart...not a backup.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/20 02:01 PM
3

She is testing the waters while keeping her foot on your dock.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/20 01:27 PM
1

There's a Simpsons episode on this exact situation with Homer and Ned.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/20 01:26 PM
9

The person you married is not the person you divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/20 01:25 PM
35

Sorry from Minnesota - https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/ Yes, these are STILL used today. Case in point, before our divorce, my ex-wife closed all of our joint bank accounts, moved them to her newly setup single accounts, and then accused me of 'financial abuse' when I tried to stop her.
/r/MensRights16/04/20 12:26 PM
4

thus fixating on numbers that aren't real. This x10.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/20 12:43 PM
2

The very first thing he needs to do is realize the woman he loved is forever gone. Any woman that would kidnap his child and take the child across state lines without asking him is a vile cunt and he needs to see her as the ENEMY she is forever. This X100. This is the classic theory in child development of "the golden uterus" where mothers assume the child is theirs alone.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/20 03:05 AM
7

Yes. At worst, you will learn something to make you a better parent. At best, you will look like the better parent. EDIT: Wait, I just read your username. If your ex is a Narc, then be very careful that anything that she learns in the course (assuming that she is also going to take the course), may be used against you. For example, co-parenting courses often teach parent to 'not make their kids mini-spies' or to not act like 'Disney parents'. My narc ex interviews our children every time they re…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/20 02:57 AM
5

Case in point. I gave my female friend complete access to one of my dating apps. Initially, she was confident because 'she thought like a woman' and could easily get a match. She took her time and filled everything out for me. She had all access to all the premium stuff. She read every profile and carefully debated swiping left or right. Nothing. Then she just started swiping right on everyone. Still nothing. Now, she is like wtf is wrong with these ladies. Tldr - work on you and don't get disap…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/20 04:01 PM
6

Just a heads up. Things have changed. Don't get depressed over the ongoing rejection on dating apps.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/20 02:58 PM
1

Turning off cloud backup was clearly a sign that she is hiding something. Good for you! Why do people think this lie is not obvious? My phone automatically backs up everything when I plug it in to charge it (every 12 hours or so). The battery usage is minimal if I don't charge it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/20 12:40 PM
2

Yeah....when your wife is sleeping around like a hotel mattress...it doesn't matter if either party wants to 'go all in' to save the marriage. The article doesn't mention the feminist chant of 'we don't need men, we can do everything on our own.' On one side, they get a monthly check to get divorced. On the other side, they have to live with a man they promised to live with 'for better or worse.'
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/20 02:10 AM
6

Talk to whomever is garnishing the wages. People in payroll don't know they made a mistake unless informed. Source: I f*ed up some checks when I was in payroll. Whoopsie.
/r/MensRights08/04/20 03:50 AM
1

All assets + all liabilities = total net assets Total Net Assets / 2 = Your share Negative net assets just means you will receive half of the debt. Child support for most states is not based on what you can afford, but rather the online state child support calculators which are generally based on gross income.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/20 04:24 PM
3

Yes. This is true. Laws and government support shouldn't be based on gender. Why don't men ask for alimony, child support or attorney fees? There is very little support for men going through divorce or a custody battle. Why? Men need to support men and families. I can call the women's shelter and receive free shelter, food, gas cards, clothes, etc. I can call the men's shelter...wait, there is no men's shelter in my community. See the lack of support?
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/20 11:11 AM
2

I feel this. I got banned from a subreddit because I asked an "intimidating question" but I was actually just curious. I can't remember which subreddit. Keep reaching out for help. Narcissism is something that has to be experienced to fully understand. I'm still escaping the gaslighting of my ex from a couple of years ago. I don't know how to "un-ban" yourself. Maybe reach out to the Mods and ask to be unbanned? Mention that you are new and still learning about narcissism.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/20 01:13 PM
1

I post there all the time as a father (see my post history). It's really a good support forum. The key is to not add pronouns (he/she/etc.) and just use the term "narc" when referring to the narcissist. You are correct though. If you post with pronouns, then there is a high likelihood that you will be downvoted into oblivion. This is a tricky topic as there is some overlap between narcissism and other certain groups. For example, narcissists are ALWAYS a victim or a hero in all of there stories.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/20 01:02 PM
2

I think you're on the right path. All the best.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/20 05:59 PM
1

Imagine this. Two parties are presented in front of a judge. Party #1. One party is represented by an attorney and is arguing for 50/50 custody, to follow the online child support calculators, to split the assets at 50/50, and nothing else. Party #2. The other party is represented by an attorney and has a group of "Women's shelter advocates" sitting at their table. At one point, the advocates had to physically support this party as she stood up for her testimony. This party is requesting full cu…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/20 05:29 PM
1

50/50 is fair. Most states have online child support calculators. The courts will just use these online child support calculators. Parents don't have a say on the amount of child support, if the court decides. The term "divorce rape" is used to describe when one parent unfairly utilizes resources to "win" a divorce at all cost. For example, I yelled at my ex-wife for sleepy around like a hotel mattress when I was home watching the children (e.g. she said she was at work as a nurse). As a result,…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/20 02:25 PM
2

This advice is spot on. One thing to emphasize, there is something else that she hasn't told you or you're not including above. Divorce sucks but it also brings the true self out to the public. It sounds like the wife is willing to air laundry out in the open, so start documenting everything and ask for help. Start getting other adults around you when you spend time with the kids so that they can vouch that you're a good dad. Otherwise, it sounds like an every other weekend dad situation (e.g. 5…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/20 11:58 AM
11

The golden uterus theory of child development.
/r/MensRights29/03/20 10:33 PM
1

Seek out a counselor. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Man up and ask for help. People are willing to help you. Just talking about issues helps immensely. Also, plan ahead for a divorce. Don't expect anything to be rational or expected during a divorce. Most family resources are aimed at helping mothers and children. For example, the recent COVID-19 stimulus bill outlines the specific help for women and children. You can do this. Be strong. You are not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 02:09 PM
3

Ready or not, proceed ahead. The first to file usually has the assumption of being the foundations of the divorce. If you wait for you wife to file, then she sets the stage for 'why she felt the need to divorce' or something else.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 02:04 PM
7

RemindMe! 8 months
/r/MensRights25/03/20 06:43 PM
3

This is exactly what was told to me by two different state law enforcements. Mom doesn't need to follow the court order; only take her back to court.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/20 11:51 PM
1

Great advice, hurts me everytime.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/20 01:06 AM
1

You can vote
/r/MensRights18/03/20 06:34 AM
2

Yes
/r/RedPillParenting10/03/20 06:14 AM
1

Just spend time with him. No need to force talk. Just be there. My brother was 'there' for me. Didn't say much, just was there. It meant a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/20 02:32 AM
27

New KFC's double down https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Down_(sandwich)
/r/MensRights01/03/20 06:15 PM
8

Bench boys to fuck
/r/askTRP01/03/20 05:01 AM
1

Women can "forget" to take birth control. Men can "forget" to tell about their vasectomy. Everyone should have control over their own bodies. Not telling ensures that both parties feel in control of their bodies.
/r/askTRP26/02/20 05:38 AM
3

Vasectomy and don't tell.
/r/askTRP26/02/20 04:28 AM
2

The golden uterus theory
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/20 05:53 PM
22

Nothing is her fault. Everyone else is 'out to get her' She is always the victim or the hero in everyone of her stories. She tells you that her mom and mom's mom have diagnosed mental disorders. She has no female friends. She always wants to spend alone time with your guy friends (1:1). She accuses you of cheating or flirting, if you talk to other females (e.g. other moms at soccer practice). Her reactions are unpredictable (is she going to be mad or happy today?). Big decisions (e.g. buying a h…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/20 03:28 PM
1

I can't possibly be the only one in this situation.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/20 06:01 PM
3

Depends on your stbxw. I wanted to mediate over legal custody. My ex-wife wanted to mediate over $7 medication for our children. Hope for the best. Mediate when the waters are calm.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/20 06:00 PM
2

Me too.... At this time, I was up for a promotion. They promoted the female that I trained because she was a better fit. I transferred from tax to IT within the same employer and am happier. All the best!
/r/MensRights07/02/20 05:04 PM
14

My ex-wife got temporary sole legal custody for the first year, which we are going to court next week to review. She pulled out all the stops... had the women's shelter advocate and the women's rights pro-bono attorney. Men have equal rights.
/r/MensRights07/02/20 05:01 PM
308

My company has an external hotline to call. You call and receive a reference number for follow up. I had to call because my ex wife was stalking me at work. She was waiting outside my office building randomly to falsely claim an abuse story for our custody battle. The problem is that you have to give enough information to be helpful in the investigation which gives away your identity. It didn't protect me but just documented the extent my ex-wife was willing to go for a custody battle.
/r/MensRights07/02/20 12:13 PM
3

Every kid needs a good dad.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/20 01:51 AM
6

This is too common.
/r/MensRights29/01/20 12:19 PM
2

Never give up on YOUR kids. Not ever. Not today. Not tomorrow. Never. All kids need a great dad. Be that great dad.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/20 06:31 PM
18

Get a lawyer. You are no longer one with your ex. Fight for you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/20 03:48 AM
3

File for more custody if you feel your ex is a crappy parent. Do this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/20 03:47 AM
4

I'm rooting for you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/20 02:38 AM
1

That looks just like my ex-wife and her affair partner. I think they got married, I'm not sure. That's exactly how my ex-wife acted during our marriage.
/r/MensRights19/01/20 03:57 PM
1

What you want. What you'll give up. What you don't want. What you'll live with.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 07:53 PM
2

I am the one who knocks!!
/r/MGTOW18/01/20 06:46 PM
6

Thanks for sharing. Your story sound similar to mine. A little different, a little similar. My advice (that I wished that I received)... Find a counselor asap. You need to talk this out. Be a man and seek counseling. Don't try to figure out her logic. Rather, figure out what you want in life or a relationship. Then, build towards that decision. Since you have kids, pay an attorney for a few hours of their time. Do prep work and summarize the issues. Be prepared for anything. It may sound expensi…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 06:17 PM
1

Try posting this over in r/custody. My quick-hand advice. Establish firmly that you are the father (e.g. your name on the birth certificate or something similar). Communicate clearly and in writing, if there is agreement on the custody arrangement. You could file this on your own, but I would spend a couple of hours with an attorney (either alone or together) to make sure it is enforceable. This may sound good and peachy now, but separation changes people. Additionally, schools and other profess…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 05:47 PM
2

Some people are just shitty people.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 02:51 AM
2

Have some silver....
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/20 02:51 PM
1

Please save to Google sheets and save a read-only copy. Then, members can save a copy for themselves. https://www.google.com/sheets/about/
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/20 01:07 PM
2

It sounds like you surprised her and now she needs to build a case.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 01:45 PM
2

I'm a divorced dad. All kids need great dads. You could be that great dad for your kid. Be that great dad for your kid. Keep fighting for your kid. Set the example. Never lose touch with your son.
/r/askTRP13/01/20 05:51 AM
3

under rated comment
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/20 05:45 AM
1

I'm a 32M divorced with 3 kids. I tried a tinder date with a nice 26F with 1 kid. We seemed to be a good fit except that she was always trying to hand her kid off on someone else (e.g. have her mom/dad/brother watch her kid). Red flag.
/r/MGTOW13/01/20 05:34 AM
2

This exactly. Narc traits 101. I still can't believe what I'm reading about Harry but narcs will do that, royalty included.
/r/MGTOW13/01/20 03:07 AM
2

Yeah, she is most likely fucking someone else. My female friends pull up their dating apps and there are dozens of guys willing to fuck at any given time. Not your problem any more. Work on you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/20 05:54 PM
1

the feeling of being done is priceless
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/20 04:40 AM
2

I'm still working on my trust balance - between trusting too little and too much. It's tough.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/20 03:11 AM
3

There is nothing that you can do now. Do something to take your mind off of it. Nothing will happen over a weekend. Divorces take time. Contested divorces take longer. For reference, my divorce decree took over a year because we had to go to court.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/20 11:43 AM
12

Let me summarize. Possible choices and results: Confront the wife about the inappropriate relationship. a. Wife is not having an affair, gets mad and leaves for the other man. b. Wife is having an affair and leaves for the other man. Not confront the wife about the inappropriate relationship. a. You sulk about the wife's inappropriate relationship. My advice: You have voiced your opinion about the inappropriate relationship. The wife denied and/or refused to stop the inappropriate relationship. …
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/20 11:09 AM
1

Why Kmart?
/r/MGTOW04/01/20 09:29 AM
2

The most cringe worthy moment was when the only other guy in my grad class started talking about toxic masculinity.
/r/MGTOW04/01/20 09:14 AM
2

Don't beat yourself up. If there is a cliche, then you're not the only one. You will get through this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/20 06:58 PM
1

Mediators can't force agreement. Courts can force child support payments based on income of both parties. Child support shouldn't be co-mingled with a home or other assets. I'm not an attorney, but most states have online calculators that will show you the child support amount. Courts follow the online calculators.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/20 01:17 PM
1

It's a good state.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/20 01:14 PM
1

All kids need great dads. Be a great dad.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/19 05:47 PM
1

Add up all the assets and divide by two. Cars, homes, cash, etc. add it all up. My ex tried a similar tactic. In the days before her filings, she took a loan out on our van for $25K and claimed the van was worth $20K. In her affidavit, she "forgot" to claim the cash received for the van loan but claimed a value of -$5K on the van ($20K-25K). The judge threw out her claims and assigned the value of $25K to the ex-wife.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/19 05:18 PM
2

I like to melt down all the little soap shreds into a large soap brick. It's abrasive, soft, flowerly, manly...just amazing. Makes me feel good.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/19 10:49 PM
2

Organization does help. Fatherhood.org
/r/MGTOW28/12/19 10:10 PM
1

*Best Christmas movie
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/19 12:59 AM
2

I'm summarizing the documentation and support for the legal motions. For example, we are motioning that I alone make all appointments for our children going forward. I am summarizing the documentation for my attorney -> Exhibit A. My ex cancelling my appointments. Exhibit B. My ex taking the kids out of state for appointments and denying it. My attorney will likely only use a few of these summaries but it saves on my attorney's time to shuffle through the documents.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 04:24 AM
3

That will catch up to your ex too when one day, and it will happen, the child will ask why. This hits close to home. My oldest child (8 year old) is already talking about 'mommy's broken promises' that she made to him if he told everyone that 'daddy is hurting' him. I don't know what hurts more.....that my ex-wife coached our kids about false abuse or that she didn't follow through with her promises to our kids.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 04:13 AM
3

We use Our Family Wizard for all communication. It documents when messages are sent and when they are read. Yes, very effective. My ex-wife lied under oath saying that 'she never got some of my messages'. My attorney had my ex-wife read to the court the time/date stamp of her reading my messages. Of course, my ex-wife said her phone acts funny once in a while, but the court clearly picked up on the patterns of my ex-wife. The point is to document YOUR STORY to the point that it is difficult or u…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 04:08 AM
3

Thanks. I can't make up what my ex-wife is doing. I'm excited to go back to court to have her explain herself. We know that my ex-wife was lying under oath during our divorce trial. She can either create more elaborate lies or tell the truth. Either way, the court is getting tired of her shenanigans.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 03:56 AM
1

Can you contact the state ethics board for attorneys? They might call this a conflict of interest.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 03:23 AM
2

Lawyer. Now. She is building a case and you are watching.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 03:20 AM
2

Medical marijuana helped me out, specifically the CBD. Over the counter sleeping pills just made my mind fuzzy the next morning. Alcohol just made me hung-over the next morning. Anti-depressants removed both the lows and highs of life.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 03:19 AM
1

Please post on r/divorce_men
/r/RedPillParenting25/12/19 03:14 AM
2

This is so true. I don't even recognize my ex-wife anymore. We have not been in the same room since Sept. 2017, other than a courtroom. Just a stranger that I used to know.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 03:12 AM
2

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 04:15 AM
1

You still need to report the sexual abuse of a child. Nearly every State and U.S. territory imposes penalties, often in the form of a fine or imprisonment, on mandatory reporters who fail to report suspected child abuse or neglect as required by law. https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/report.pdf
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/19 11:36 PM
2

I guess it is different in your state. My state doesn't care if there is potential in the future to earn more or have employment. As of the date of the filings, is either party at an economic disadvantage as a result of the marriage? Being unemployed would definitely fit the bill. Alimony can be short term, if there is a real opportunity to re-gain employment.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/19 07:24 PM
7

Another point, alimony is not based on gender. Your brother should have asked for alimony. I regret not asking for alimony in my divorce. I didn't ask for alimony and yes, my ex-wife did make more than me. I ended up paying >50% in my take-home pay in child support. I didn't ask for alimony because of my pride, and I regret that. My ex-wife, earned more than me, still asked for alimony. The judge threw it out.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/19 07:04 PM
55

But...logic...?
/r/MGTOW04/12/19 06:27 PM
23

Why is this? I never understood this, honestly. My ex wife forbid porn and wanking but was too tired to do the job herself. I mean she would offer sex but would just starfish and ask if I was done.
/r/MGTOW01/12/19 04:59 PM
2

Real men get face tattoos.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/19 01:12 PM
2

I have the same question. I'm fixed. I already have kids. I do get lonely but that is temporary. I'm honestly curious about marriage #2.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/19 03:47 AM
6

doink the clown
/r/MGTOW21/11/19 03:38 AM
1

Hang in there!
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/19 10:45 PM
3

Do this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/19 06:21 PM
1

Agreed, you can't prevent someone from quitting. In MN, the person has to argue that the employment termination is beyond their control AND returning to that employment level is not reasonable. For example, a factory moves overseas and lays everyone off in the USA. Otherwise, at least in MN, it is assumed that employment can be regained within a reasonable amount of time and support shouldn't be changed.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/19 12:33 PM
13

Only marry within or above your income level. Lesson learned.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/19 12:51 AM
6

Shivs
/r/MensRights17/11/19 07:42 PM
21

Well, nothing is free in life.
/r/MGTOW13/11/19 09:55 PM
24

Can confirm. I am that guy.
/r/MGTOW09/11/19 01:42 AM
1

Not an attorney but I'd recommend retiring before divorce. Alimony is generally based on all income from all sources. Just two cents.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/19 11:41 PM
3

Divorce has taught me many things....never marry below your income level.
/r/MGTOW06/11/19 06:18 PM
1

It's now a thing. - Bookface
/r/MGTOW02/11/19 09:40 AM
17

Most people*
/r/askTRP31/10/19 05:00 PM
1

'#MoveOn
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/19 04:59 PM
4

There are templates for this kind of stuff. See Duluth wheels of abuse and control.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/19 11:29 PM
2

Oddly, it's the best interest of the child that is to be considered in some states. A six figure breadwinner is much better for child. Luckily, courts generally look beyond money for the best interests of the child.
/r/MGTOW06/10/19 07:21 PM
2

I like Chinese food 😋
/r/MGTOW02/10/19 01:53 AM
2

Just show up and say nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/19 08:55 PM
4

I just passed my 2 year anniversary of confronting my ex about her affair. It seems so long ago. I'm not quite where I want to be but I'm better. Thanks for sharing from the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/19 08:39 PM
1

Why would someone report this as inappropriate?
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/19 06:13 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/MGTOW29/09/19 01:45 PM
1

I would disagree with your comments but do want to point out that society expects men to be disposable (e.g. only men get drafted) and that commonly leads to suicide in men.
/r/MGTOW29/09/19 01:44 PM
25

Statistically, this is true. I'm in grad school for family studies.
/r/MGTOW28/09/19 04:52 PM
-9

Source?
/r/MGTOW28/09/19 04:51 PM
12

It sounds like your wife already left. You are now working with a stranger. Would you expect anything else from a stranger?
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/19 10:00 PM
9

Listen to this advice.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/19 11:43 PM
3

Stay calm. Be sure to document everything.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/19 09:36 PM
1

You're a good son. I hope my sons treat me the same way when they are older. Their mom is a classic narcissist....
/r/MGTOW15/09/19 01:53 AM
8

This. I was married to the one. Too tired to do anything but not too tired to grab breakfast with coworkers after work. Yeah, she slept around and I was stupid.
/r/MGTOW14/09/19 07:12 PM
3

Tell me more. Do you have experience in what can be reported?
/r/MGTOW14/09/19 07:10 PM
2

Perhaps....or, it be recognized that men can be victimized.
/r/MensRights06/09/19 06:45 PM
2

https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/
/r/MensRights06/09/19 09:08 AM
5

I'm sorry sir but these wheels don't apply to men. I almost lost it when I was told this.
/r/MensRights05/09/19 05:41 PM
38

My ex-wife earns $100k+ in a lcol Midwest and receives free clothing, food, gas cards etc. I've already reported her but since the records on these items are so vague, she gets away with it.
/r/MensRights05/09/19 05:33 PM
15

I experienced the same thing in Minnesota. "Family" centers won't accept dads with kids in my town. Luckily, I got a home now.
/r/MensRights05/09/19 05:30 PM
4

I've got suspenders for a reason
/r/MensRights04/09/19 11:20 PM
1

A true boat owner....
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/19 12:20 AM
1

Can you request that both parties submit to drug testing?
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/19 12:18 AM
1

Get an agreement signed. If you need to go to court, then you will have a starting point for custody. Trust me....some people (e.g. my ex-wife) changed her mind on custody for more potential cash.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/19 12:17 AM
1

Welcome!? Be to reach out for help. Everyone needs help every now and again.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/19 12:13 AM
2

Get it in writing....now. Also, signed paperwork. Before minds are changed.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/19 12:11 AM
1

Sorry this is happening. Be sure to be super supportive of your brother. I'm currently in a similar parental alienation situation. It sucks monkey balls.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/19 05:34 PM
1

Oh, I have no idea. I'm in MN. I'd recommend it, though.
/r/MGTOW27/08/19 07:00 PM
1

This blows....sorry
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/19 05:06 PM
1

If I remember correctly, No insurance = $100 With insurance = $0
/r/MGTOW27/08/19 04:30 PM
10

Yeah, I got snipped. I'd recommend it. It's your choice.
/r/MGTOW27/08/19 04:15 AM
38

I'm so glad for my vasectomy. My little secret to self control and confidence.
/r/MGTOW27/08/19 12:10 AM
1

Is the grass greener on the other side of the fence?
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/19 05:06 PM
22

So, women's shelter are now going to accept men? Are family shelters going to start accepting men with kids? I was temporarily homeless with kids and was refused by "family" centers. My kids could spend the night, but I would have to sleep outside due to security/safety concerns. I couldn't bring my kids to men's shelters for the same reason. I'll believe equality for all when I see it.
/r/MensRights22/08/19 05:03 PM
20

Something.... something... Gillette commercial
/r/MGTOW14/08/19 10:45 PM
1

I didn't consult an attorney before marriage because I really didn't have anything. In my state, prenups are weighed against the age of the marriage. Short marriages have a better chance at prenup protection. I was at 9 years together, which was too long, even if I had a prenup.
/r/askTRP04/08/19 07:06 PM
1

Some states do not recognize prenups. Source: I'm a divorced dad.
/r/askTRP04/08/19 02:16 AM
3

Thanks for reaching out! This is a great community for divorce_men. Add all the assets up and divide by two. From your remaining share, subtract out the attorney fees. For custody, most states have equality between parents for custody. Also, you might want to consider the out of pocket expense that you will be paying to your future-ex-wife (alimony, child support, etc.). Now, you must be careful as sometimes "new" allegations of abuse are discovered during a custody battle. So, be prepared. Star…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/19 03:43 AM
4

Family court.....where everything is made up and the rules don't matter....my opinion.....
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/19 12:37 AM
1

/r/Divorce_Men We have some good reading material over there. Be prepared, if you decide to go down this path.
/r/MGTOW12/07/19 03:39 AM
3

Double congrats! I was initially denied recognition of domestic abuse because I am male. I hung in there. Kept telling the truth, and finally was recognized.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/19 11:28 PM
1

File and get a filing date. Otherwise, you are just agreeing to take on any debt she accumulates plus some states require mediation, as part of the court process.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/19 11:15 PM
4

The Duluth model was written in Minnesota with the central idea to protect female victims. Hence, the original models were written with 'she' (victim) and 'he' (abuser). Abuse can go both ways. It's not based on gender or identity. What I'm saying is congrats on recognizing that abuse can be done to men. Compliment.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/19 11:12 PM
1

Hey, this sounds like abuse. Just think about it. Get more help. Reddit is a great community.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/19 11:05 PM
3

The Duluth model can go both ways. Congrats! Keep being a great dad!
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/19 11:01 PM
6

Take everything and divide by two. Then, subtract the lawyer fees from your half. Figure out what you want, what you can give, and what you can live with.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/19 08:01 PM
1

This is straight up child abuse via parental alienation. All kids need great dads. Be there for your kids. It sounds like you are still married, so start being a 50/50 parent. Otherwise, prepare for child support and limited time with your kids. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/19 02:32 AM
1

Rejection is tough, especially from your best friend. Look at it this way. It takes two to get married but only one to get divorced. At some point, she was ready to spend the rest of her life with you. Now, she doesn't. There is not much you can do. It sucks. Focus on working on you. Be the better you. Be better than the person that she married. All the best.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/19 02:29 AM
2

In MN, alimony is not based on gender. Go for it. Keep your pride and donate to a men's shelter or a nonprofit in her name.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/19 11:47 PM
4

Why? Accept the alimony money.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/19 11:20 PM
-17

I'm on the fence about single moms. Yeah, they are a package but they also are serious about things.
/r/MGTOW01/07/19 05:10 PM
33

Double bag your groceries and lock your door
/r/askTRP30/06/19 12:02 AM
3

People only hide things that they do t want discovered. Saying you're uncomfortable is okay, not communicating the issue is not ok in the long term.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/19 11:37 PM
7

Know what you want, what you will give, and what you can live with.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/19 12:04 AM
17

There is nothing like having condoms in my dresser until I use them.
/r/MGTOW24/06/19 12:25 AM
5

Don't buy unless the divorce is final.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/19 11:08 PM
1

All kids need great dads! There are countless resources for moms in my city but nothing for dads. Our county social services advises men "to be men" with no resources.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 01:27 AM
2

It's 2019. Add everything up and divide 50/50. Reach out if you need to chat. It's rough but Reddit is a great source.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 01:04 AM
1

Sorry from Minnesota.
/r/MensRights10/06/19 04:35 PM
2

"Wasn’t ready when I stepped into the ring" - This is so true. Keep expressing yourself!
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/19 10:32 PM
-2

Netflix?
/r/MGTOW28/05/19 04:46 AM
1

Hang in there. Work on you. Be the best you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/19 04:27 AM
2

I love when Bots fight.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/19 08:54 PM
6

Good bot
/r/askTRP29/04/19 10:44 AM
1

My ex-wife took our plates. Plastic works, right?
/r/MGTOW09/04/19 04:41 PM
1

Money over everything.
/r/MensRights08/04/19 05:18 PM
2

My ex-wife closed our joint accounts and opened single accounts. Not a penny spared. My best advice is to prepare and expect anything.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/19 04:38 PM
8

Dang it, Bobby!
/r/MGTOW03/03/19 01:26 AM
34

Some states don't recognize prenups....
/r/MGTOW25/01/19 11:21 AM
1

In MN, it's only official if the court signs off on the agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/19 09:28 AM
1

Get everything in writing. For example, my ex-wife (at one time) wanted to split everything 50/50. After she consulted with an attorney, she went for alimony and attorney fees. She didn't get either one. More importantly, take care of yourself on this long journey.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/19 09:11 AM
3

I haven't bought overpriced Gillette in years.
/r/MensRights15/01/19 11:49 AM
3

*I'm reposting here for general curiosity. I'm just a dad trying to help other dads. The legal advice was roughly, 'make a good program for fathers? Unlikely. For misogynistic MRA bullshit? Totally.'
/r/MensRights15/01/19 02:31 AM
1

My ex was late to court. (Oh course, it wasn't her fault.)
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/19 02:21 AM
6

Do not send it -> your future self will thank you
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/19 01:37 AM
1

Hey, I had the same issue with my ex-wife -> she looks like a few popular actresses. It fads over time. The no fap thing is about self-control. You could pick something else to set your goals (e.g. stop smoking).
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/19 04:03 AM
2

I used to work in a department where people would re-wrap the same toaster and give to each other. Oddly, we couldn't have toasters at work (fire hazard) but the tradition was too ingrained to stop.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/19 03:57 AM
1

(((Hugs))) Reddit is a great community. We are here to help.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/19 03:52 AM
1

What state or country are you in? The IRS states in Pub 501 (?) that if you get divorced on paper but don't actually change living arrangements (e.g. the average person thinks your married), then you are still required to file as a married couple.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/19 03:50 AM
1

My ex-wife refused to wear her ring during our marriage. It was only during our separation (and divorce papers filed) that she started wearing her wedding ring. I really don't care what she did with her ring; I rarely saw it anyways. For my ring, it's attached to my work laptop's VPN FOB key. I'll probably wait for gold to go back up in price and then sell it. Or, I could give it to one of our sons. Not sure yet.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/19 03:47 AM
2

Yeah, my divorce was a learning experience for me. One lesson was to ask for help. It's okay.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/19 03:35 AM
7

Wear a hefty bag
/r/askTRP12/01/19 06:45 PM
5

See, I don't understand this. I matched with a 'strong woman' or feminist on Bumble. She won't start a conversation or, she will ask very limited questions. If a 'strong woman' wants to take lead on the conversation, then that is fine with me. Oddly, she wants me to take the lead and then claim to be a 'strong woman' if things don't work out. In my experience, this is a big red flag...
/r/MGTOW07/01/19 03:38 AM
16

Eat shit and die, bitch! - I love it!!! Edit: I've watched this more than once, still giggles.
/r/MGTOW07/01/19 03:23 AM
1

Kids go through phases. Be supportive. Kids just need to know that they are loved.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/19 09:41 PM
2

Depends on your state. I'd file ASAP and list her "known income" as the $100K salary. She will then need to explain to the court how/why she no longer makes the $100K salary. If she quit in order to claim spousal support, then the court may just say tough and to find another $100K job (no support). Also, the spousal support may be based on how long you were married and/or how long she went without a $100K job.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/19 03:45 AM
2

Read the Michigan rules on calculating child support. https://micase.state.mi.us/calculatorapp/public/welcome/load.html For example, in Minnesota, courts generally only consider 40 hours a week as the standard work week. Anything above this amount is generally not reportable. *I say generally because the courts will look to what is reasonable. If you work 40 hours in an office job and do Uber/Lyft on the side, then the court won't include Uber/Lyft. Lastly, as a CPA, these are not questions for …
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/19 03:41 AM
1

Careful, the net versus gross argument is based on the state rules. In Minnesota, it is gross income that is used for calculations. I don't know about Michigan.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/19 03:32 AM
2

Just curious, why Thailand? As for the advice, give it time. You will feel ups and downs.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/19 01:58 AM
5

Public transportation. Sometimes, you see fights; other times, you see a homeless man without pants...
/r/MGTOW02/01/19 11:49 AM
1

Work on yourself* -> past, present and future. See above note. *Eat healthy, find a new/old hobby, stay busy, work, save for attorneys (if needed)
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/18 03:03 PM
1

Try to dissolve the marriage in peace. Communicate. Get everything in writing. Look at the 5-2-2-5 schedule for 50/50 parenting. All the best.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/18 02:59 PM
1

Video record everything, if possible. My brother asked me when I was moving stuff, if I wanted to video record the marital home. I told him no, thinking it was silly. Long story short, my ex-wife claimed in court that none of the items in the marital home existed. The judge mostly sided with my ex-wife because I didn't have any proof that all of the personal assets still existed in the home.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/18 02:57 PM
2

Money doesn't buy you happiness, BUT it sure makes life a lot easier.
/r/MGTOW28/12/18 01:16 AM
-3

still bangable
/r/MensRights28/12/18 01:11 AM
2

We did you guys!
/r/MensRights27/12/18 10:23 PM
1

The price of grass is falling. May need to adjust to current market trends.
/r/MGTOW27/12/18 03:59 AM
45

I'd like to say it to your face but my car only has half a tank of gas! - Classic Al
/r/MGTOW27/12/18 02:38 AM
3

Oh, Darcy!
/r/MGTOW27/12/18 02:38 AM
14

What can we (men) do? I'm honestly curious.
/r/MensRights20/12/18 06:13 PM
1

Based on the income levels referenced, you might be served best to talk with an attorney in Nevada. It might cost you $1K for the talk, but will serve you in the long term.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/18 06:21 AM
2

I'm 6' and earn six figures*. *Most of this is from my salary, which mostly goes to child support. I average 80+ work weeks, including my side hustles. Essentially, I'm working myself to death, trying to afford a life that I don't want. I'm the prize because I simply don't have time to waste.
/r/askTRP14/12/18 01:10 AM
2

Hey, we are here for you. It's okay to cry and ask for help. All the best!
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/18 11:15 PM
1

It's your life. Everyone makes mistakes. It takes two to get married but only one to get divorced. I started running and it helped. At first, I joked that I was running from my problems. Now, it really takes away much of the depression of my divorce. All the best!
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/18 11:13 PM
1

I'm planning on giving the ex nothing. I just think about how much divorce cost each of us. It's going to take a while for me to dig out of this debt. The holidays are tough, especially the first set. Be good to you. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/18 11:10 PM
1

Does the parent plan specify who is dropping off, picking up, or where this should occur? If not, then could you just pick the kids up at daycare/school? If the parent plan states that the mother will drop off, then you need to: (1) clearly communicate in writing your understanding of the parent plan to the mother, (2) wait for a response or the Friday drop-off time, and (3) file a police report and notify your attorney, if the kids aren't dropped off. You will likely have to go to court to adju…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/18 10:56 PM
2

The Duluth Wheel of Control/Abuse
/r/MGTOW11/12/18 11:31 AM
1

What is your 30 seconds explanation of what I signed-up for and installed?
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/18 11:24 PM
1

I'll check it out. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/18 04:28 PM
8

like a minivan, two in the front with five in the rear....
/r/askTRP08/12/18 04:05 PM
4

We moved from another state, just so that she could apply to a specific med program at a specific employer. She failed the intro grad course. At the time, we had spent 7-8 years chasing her dream to get into this specific program. After failing her grad course, she started staying out later and later, eventually not coming home after work. She blames everything on me. I'm partially to blame but she is stuck in a victim mentality. I'm moving forward and not allowing her to pull me into her victim…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/18 04:54 PM
4

Around 30 years old. She had just failed a grad course.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/18 12:07 PM
1

I'm in.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/18 04:53 AM
1

What state are you in? States vary. Most assume 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/18 06:36 AM
1

Listen to this advice.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/18 06:35 AM
1

Try looking into reconciliation therapy. It's for parents who have been distant from their kiddos. Best of luck!
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/18 06:38 PM
1

Cue typical movie plot Rich, young female falls in love with a poor, young male. Their parents don't approve, but who can stop these star-crossed lovers? This frustration. It's wanting what you probably should have, but going for it anyways. In interviews, you try to get the panel to root for you, to overcome the frustration. In the workplace, some women fantasize about overcoming the frustration of workplace disagreements. Oh Greg is married, but I bet he has a wild side.
/r/MGTOW02/12/18 02:07 PM
9

Sigh ..... unzips
/r/MGTOW01/12/18 11:27 PM
2

How did you find the 'right' procedure or specialist?
/r/MGTOW01/12/18 11:00 PM
1

Tell him. If it's not you, then she is cheating with someone else.
/r/MGTOW01/12/18 10:52 PM
1

It's Texas. They don't give out half death sentences....
/r/MGTOW01/12/18 10:48 PM
6

Frustration. It's key to create this frustration in interviews, movies and the workplace. People like to root for someone and overcome this frustration. Yes, some women are turned on by this frustration.
/r/MGTOW01/12/18 10:46 PM
4

I thought about throwing a hotdog down a hallway....
/r/MGTOW01/12/18 10:32 PM
4

Hits too close to home dude. https://youtu.be/uiG8Bud_ZjY
/r/MGTOW01/12/18 10:31 PM
6

There should be a state or county agency that should help collect. In MN, there is. Alternatively, take the court order to her employer to start garnishing her wages. Both options take several weeks to process.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/18 08:05 PM
5

https://youtu.be/uiG8Bud_ZjY
/r/MensRights01/12/18 05:04 PM
4

Thanks!
/r/MGTOW01/12/18 05:03 PM
3

Source?
/r/MGTOW01/12/18 04:32 PM
1

https://youtu.be/xbPQFaje94g Not the jingle but really hits in the feels for dads.
/r/MGTOW01/12/18 02:28 PM
1

Source?
/r/MGTOW30/11/18 03:52 PM
4

I think IA has it after 7-10 years.
/r/MGTOW30/11/18 01:09 PM
8

Yes. Sorry, from Minnesota. They still hold conferences about men's power over women under the guise of equality.
/r/MGTOW30/11/18 01:08 PM
7

It takes two to get married, but one to get divorced....
/r/MGTOW30/11/18 01:05 PM
135

Divorced dad here. When a guy tells me that he is getting married, I tell him congrats but I ask him why he wants to get married. Usually, I hear the line of 'I love her' or 'it's the right thing to do.' You can still love someone and spend your life with them. There really isn't an upside for a male to get married. There are countless downside such as potential alimony, etc. My only piece of advice for a guy that wants to get married today, is to read the 'Duluth Wheel of Control' and think abo…
/r/MGTOW30/11/18 09:15 AM
2

Nah, people like the challenge to convert.
/r/MensRights29/11/18 04:54 AM
121

Or, be gay. They can't really ask you to prove it.
/r/MensRights29/11/18 02:16 AM
2

When in doubt, whip it out.
/r/askTRP27/11/18 06:55 AM
2

Why don't they teach this in schools, churches, marriage preparations, etc.? If I got a tattoo, then it would be this bible verse.
/r/MensRights27/11/18 06:35 AM
2

...but she is the victim...
/r/MGTOW25/11/18 05:36 PM
2

The woman's laugh in the background is the best.
/r/MGTOW23/11/18 06:15 PM
2

Replacing decisions by feelings with decisions by data.
/r/MGTOW23/11/18 06:13 PM
2

Be careful of the loneliness. Join a club, or find a DivorceCare group. It really helps to pass the time for healing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/18 02:32 AM
3

Vice
/r/MGTOW22/11/18 01:56 PM
3

Sitting around watching patients; gossiping about dates and starting families.
/r/askTRP22/11/18 01:49 PM
43

It's the victim game. Courts side with victims. Who ever is the bigger victim wins. Source: Duluth wheel of abuse
/r/MGTOW22/11/18 01:28 PM
1

Wall Street bets?
/r/MGTOW18/11/18 03:25 AM
3

Any link to the cnn edition?
/r/MGTOW18/11/18 01:14 AM
1

Go your own way....
/r/askTRP15/11/18 07:53 AM
2

Yes.
/r/MGTOW13/11/18 03:46 AM
5

Good marriages end in death and bad marriages end in divorce. All marriages end. Which is better - divorce or death?
/r/MGTOW13/11/18 03:44 AM
15

Call the burn unit
/r/MensRights12/11/18 06:54 AM
3

From MN, we are sorry.
/r/MGTOW11/11/18 04:04 PM
3

...are always victims.
/r/MGTOW11/11/18 04:00 AM
3

Holy shit! I thought I was the only one who had to 'act the part' while happily married.
/r/MGTOW10/11/18 10:00 PM
1

Don't fall asleep at the wheel. Jesus doesn't take the wheel, Elon does....
/r/MGTOW10/11/18 09:50 PM
13

I'm a divorced dad and you hit it right on the head. I was a great, loving, and patient husband. I gave the marriage everything I had to offer. I spent my time planning events to make her happy. I know that I wasn't perfect husband but I tried my best. Long story, shortened. She had an affair with a meth addict. She was bored with our stable household. We were on track to retire by our forties. I have no incentive to date or get married again. There is no upside. I can only be a great dad.
/r/MGTOW10/11/18 09:44 PM
2

Article didn't call this out as rape, but the female teacher did get 10 years in prison for her crime(s). Equality.
/r/MensRights08/11/18 12:20 PM
1

Article didn't call this out as rape, but the female teacher did get 10 years in prison for her crime(s). Equality.
/r/MensRights08/11/18 12:18 PM
6

How do we feel about the budget? -> Corporate finance has taught me that this is the best discussion opener for finances.
/r/MGTOW08/11/18 12:33 AM
3

I've thought about getting a cat for awhile now.
/r/MGTOW07/11/18 05:49 AM
2

Let's disregard facts and talk about how she feels.
/r/MensRights07/11/18 05:47 AM
2

Since MN strated the Duluth Wheel of Abuse nonsense, this seems like the pendulum is swinging the other way.
/r/MensRights07/11/18 05:45 AM
2

For science research purposes....
/r/MGTOW07/11/18 05:43 AM
8

Look, here is a pic of my dick.
/r/askTRP07/11/18 05:28 AM
2

When in doubt, whip it out.
/r/askTRP07/11/18 05:17 AM
1

Sadly, yes. If she regrets, then it's your fault. Some people can't believe that they have regrets or mistakes, so they blame you. It's not fair.
/r/askTRP07/11/18 04:59 AM
1

Dude, sorry. It's a process.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/18 09:25 PM
3

I had to Google it. Yes, it looks like Ohio.
/r/MGTOW04/11/18 03:44 AM
3

....Somehow...she is the victim...somehow
/r/MensRights04/11/18 03:41 AM
1

Oddly, this advice helps my healing process. Thanks.
/r/askTRP04/11/18 12:37 AM
4

So true! Women also have shelters with free legal assistance where men can go f* themselves.
/r/MGTOW04/11/18 12:21 AM
7

/thread
/r/askTRP03/11/18 05:36 PM
-1

Regina?
/r/MGTOW01/11/18 05:15 PM
3

Divorce = separation. Separation = splitting things up. Stop thinking "we" and think for "me." Don't feel bad, stand up for you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/18 05:11 PM
5

Let me guess...and she claims to be the victim. Kids need great dads. I wish there was some sort of assistance for dads, similar to women's shelters. Here is a hug from another dad going through a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/18 12:02 PM
1

Why couldn't she stay married, just for a higher cash out? Some states divide on the years together... Just saying...
/r/MGTOW30/10/18 05:21 PM
24

...because no one can handle them at their worst...
/r/MGTOW30/10/18 05:17 PM
3

...like a pumpkin...
/r/askTRP24/10/18 05:02 PM
44

Life lesson---never marry below your income level. You are trapped by the threat of lifetime alimony payments.
/r/MGTOW23/10/18 04:50 PM
9

21 years... that's alimony for life.
/r/MGTOW23/10/18 04:48 PM
8

Carries the one over... I'm not sure how this adds up.
/r/MensRights22/10/18 01:09 AM
4

"...but the govt needs to help pay for my lifestyle."
/r/MGTOW21/10/18 11:23 AM
20

Bring a typewriter. Smart phones are too main stream.
/r/askTRP20/10/18 03:14 PM
1

We were scheduled for the full week. Then, a criminal case came in which pulled the judge away for a couple of days. We had about 2-2.5 days in court. We didn't get to do all of our questioning, but rather provided a summary of what we were going to ask and the documents showing the answers.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/18 11:25 AM
2

When in doubt, whip it out.
/r/askTRP20/10/18 03:13 AM
1

I'm in MN. She filed Sept 2017, we had trial last week, final paperwork due Nov 2018, and we should expect a decision by Feb 2019.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/18 09:43 PM
2

Which state?
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/18 06:14 PM
3

Sorry. That's all I can offer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/18 09:46 PM
48

TIL - fat pride? I'll run away from that.
/r/MGTOW17/10/18 03:30 PM
3

First, good job on saving everything. Document everything. It sounds like there's something bothering your wife. Try and ask her if there's something that you can help with try to figure out if there's an issue that is going on. I'm guessing since you posted in a divorce men subreddit that you have some suspicions. I wouldn't call out any of your suspicions until you have a good case. I'm not sure if there's someone else, where she is spending extra time outside of work after she gets out of wor…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/18 02:52 PM
2

Mickey mom? Minnie mom?
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/18 09:58 PM
4

Encourage her to get a well paying job. Otherwise, you are looking at alimony which will dampen your retirement. You are 50% parent of the child. Your wife doesn't get 100% parenting rights. Document your involvement in your kid's life. Be sure to have many people verify your parenting. Be ready for a divorce. Be ready to be called abusive and controlling. Oddly, her not having a job is considered domestic abuse in MN. Ultimatums rarely work, for either side. Take a few days to think about what …
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/18 07:17 PM
2

Yes and yes. Parent A makes $50k and parent B makes $150k. The children are used to a support base of $200k. Whoever has less nights with the kids, has to pay a higher share as an offset. As a result, the lower income spouse without the kids, usually gets hosed in MN. Not my real income figures.
/r/MGTOW25/09/18 07:42 PM
1

There is a minimum payment amount. If you don't pay, then you have an automatic warrant put out for your arrest. It is gross income that is considered. So, unless you are advocating tax fraud, self employment wouldn't work.
/r/MGTOW25/09/18 07:39 PM
3

She called the police saying that I emotionally abused her. Then, she called child protective services saying that I beat our kids. After a year of investigations, Cps found nothing of her claims. During this time, she got a court order to take the kids away. MN child support is based on both persons income divided by the nights with the kids. She makes more than me and has the kids almost every night. As a result, I max out the child support calculator at 70% of my income. We have court in a fe…
/r/MGTOW25/09/18 10:59 AM
1

"but it's not their fault"
/r/MGTOW25/09/18 02:27 AM
2

How old are her grandkids?
/r/askTRP25/09/18 02:23 AM
25

Can confirm that women can fuck over men using custody of their kids. I'm facing this shit now. Court in a few weeks. 70% of my income is going to the cheating whore that kidnapped our kids.
/r/MGTOW25/09/18 02:13 AM
7

When in doubt, whip it out.
/r/askTRP23/09/18 04:40 AM
1

I have to put that I am a dude when setting up local meetings, with online posts. Otherwise, I get oodles of guys hitting on me or asking for my number. Seriously, guys!
/r/MGTOW22/09/18 12:26 AM
11

So, he probably won't mind if I copy the sticker idea?
/r/MensRights20/09/18 11:56 AM
5

Agreed. No one believes my story because it is so bonkers. My ex claimed I was emotionally abusive when I confronted her about her affair. As a result, the court put a restraining order in place because she was crying in court. Because of the restraining order I am allowed to see my kids every other weekend and a few hours, one night a week. We're fighting in court.
/r/MGTOW20/09/18 11:10 AM
105

Where did you get these stickers? I'd plaster them everywhere.
/r/MensRights20/09/18 10:54 AM
9

Hey, I stayed for the kids. The stats on growing up without a dad is ridiculous. Family court always sides with the victim and women have more resources to be victims. Our local women's shelter provides a template for 'surviving the victim hood of relationships.' Real dads don't have a chance in family court if the mom is bonkers.
/r/MGTOW20/09/18 10:49 AM
8

Someone order a sausage pizza?
/r/MGTOW20/09/18 10:43 AM
9

Don't you want to be yelled at for something she forgot to grab?
/r/MGTOW09/09/18 09:21 AM
1

When in doubt, whip it out....
/r/askTRP09/09/18 08:47 AM
0

When in doubt, plop it out.
/r/askTRP05/09/18 09:49 AM
8

Exactly, competition is not for everyone.
/r/askTRP04/09/18 11:41 AM
2

She can't legally bind you to contracts, right? Also, school lunches are like $1 per day per child at my kids' school. This seems petty. I would let her take you to court.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/18 02:31 PM
6

Women are so selfish and arrogant that they believe they can be both mother AND father. They CANNOT. And there are countless men, just like us, that are living proof of that fact. Too true....
/r/MGTOW01/09/18 11:12 PM
3

My man! Take this upvote!
/r/MGTOW01/09/18 11:09 PM
5

Divorce is fun for no one. It's a process. Hang on. All kids need a great dad.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/18 02:05 PM
1

Awesome! All kids need great dads. The family court system is setup for dads to give up. Don't! I was told that I would continued to be investigated until I admitted to my ex's claims of abuse. They were false claims and they finally concluded their investigations with "inconclusive claims."
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/18 12:52 PM
1

For ducks sake, don't give up on your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/18 10:41 AM
10

Oh, dad ...
/r/askTRP28/08/18 05:07 PM
1

Yep, we wouldn't talk unless he left. He spent 5 minutes talking to the meditator about how I am such a bad guy and his daughter was a princess (at least that is what the mediator told us). We got nothing done at mediation as she wanted me to confess for all my abuses. I honestly didn't know what she was talking about. Later, in the social services file, we found out about her imagination. After a while, one of my attorneys saved face and said she had another meeting. Waste of time but it's requ…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/18 04:55 PM
3

I'm a year into the divorce process and nothing is final. Family court moves slow in my state. See, in my situation, my ex-wife never really grew into adulthood (maybe me too). We were dependent on one another way too much. She would expect me to be everything and it was exhausting. I could keep her happy, for a while. I'm not divorced but I can see life much more clearly now. It's odd how now I can see the turbulence of my ex from stepping away for a year. Love is one hell of a drug. I'm not ac…
/r/askTRP24/08/18 03:24 AM
3

Have your attorney present. This is not the time to 'save on attorney fees' or some horsesh*t. Have a list of things that you want to accomplish with the mediator. The mediator won't direct the discussion but help the parties meet an agreement. Be prepared for anything. My STBXW showed up with her dad and attorney. She refused to be in the same room as me because 'she was sacred'
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/18 09:18 AM
21

How does she not end up in prison?
/r/MGTOW22/08/18 09:23 PM
3

Listen. Lawyers are not expensive for the service they should be providing to you. This is not the time to be cheap and avoid lawyer consults. Get a lawyer. File the paperwork. Record everything. It sounds like your STBXW is working the system. Get lots of advocates that note you are a great dad. Eventually, one of two things will happen. 1. Your STBXW miraculously becomes rational and acts like an adult during the dissolution. or 2. The children become old enough that they recognize what their …
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/18 01:53 AM
3

Lawyer now!
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/18 05:01 PM
4

Use company funds for a cab. Schedule intentionally to conflict with female's plans (eg early morning). Get cab paid and be safe.
/r/MGTOW20/08/18 04:57 PM
8

From everyone in Minnesota, we are sorry. The Duluth 'Wheel of Abuse' is alive and well for females to claim victim to get out of any punishment.
/r/MensRights19/08/18 02:08 PM
28

Dammit Chad!
/r/MGTOW19/08/18 02:03 PM
4

Ray Charles?
/r/MGTOW18/08/18 01:50 PM
2

Your dad looks pretty young....
/r/MGTOW18/08/18 01:37 PM
4

"Hey you like a show? Let's give everyone a chance and make it shitty."
/r/MGTOW18/08/18 01:37 PM
17

I can't watch most "popular" shows on Netflix because it is usually includes a slutty female character or a repressed female character who cheats. Still hits in the feels, after being cheated on.
/r/askTRP18/08/18 01:31 PM
1

Steve Jobs?
/r/MGTOW16/08/18 03:28 AM
1

I don't know. My sundial in the shade is working just fine. laughs off screen....
/r/MGTOW15/08/18 10:19 PM
1

Best of luck!
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/18 05:30 PM
6

Can confirm.
/r/MGTOW13/08/18 02:52 AM
1

Hey, I'm asleep at the wheel. How else am I to daydream?
/r/MGTOW12/08/18 08:54 PM
2

How do I invest?
/r/MGTOW12/08/18 07:54 PM
2

It's a slow process but eventually, it'll be true.
/r/MGTOW12/08/18 07:51 PM
8

...adds up...
/r/MGTOW12/08/18 07:49 PM
1

Alimony payments.
/r/askTRP12/08/18 07:46 PM
1

Don't throw your back out lifting them...
/r/askTRP12/08/18 03:50 AM
6

Week 5: smile and move into her apartment building. Week 6: smile and get a job with her employer.
/r/askTRP12/08/18 03:44 AM
4

They banging.
/r/askTRP12/08/18 03:41 AM
1

Can you sit in family court and watch divorce attorneys?
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/18 12:00 PM
5

"But data is not what I feel." Last week, I had a co-worker try to argue against my data driven decision because she didn't feel it was correct. We work in accounting, numbers should drive decisions.
/r/MGTOW06/08/18 09:51 AM
21

I married my best friend. She wanted me to be everything and do everything together. It was nice for a while and I do miss the companionship. But, the moment I started saying no, she started sleeping around. Tldr - best of luck, it could be good or bad.
/r/askTRP03/08/18 04:43 PM
34

Mr. Meseeks.
/r/askTRP03/08/18 04:40 PM
0

It's Pickle Rick!
/r/askTRP02/08/18 03:54 AM
47

Want to read a book? Jerk off. Nervously enters library...
/r/askTRP02/08/18 03:37 AM
3

Hang in there. Family court can bring out the crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/18 12:26 AM
1

I think about this often. It's a choice.
/r/MensRights28/07/18 01:59 PM
5

Females tend to promote females based on their perceived inequality.
/r/MGTOW28/07/18 06:48 AM
6

True. Women's shelters provide templates for what to say in court. An "advocate" will show up with notes, in case they lose track.
/r/MGTOW27/07/18 11:12 PM
7

Remove the father, sustain the income. Courts rubber stamp this template all day long.
/r/MensRights27/07/18 11:04 PM
6

Courts side with the victim. It's sad but true.
/r/MGTOW27/07/18 11:01 PM
17

Going through this shit storm. Can confirm.
/r/MGTOW27/07/18 11:00 PM
6

Some states have a de facto marriage clause where if you live like you are married to someone for x amount of years, then you are legally married. Fir example, in Iowa, it is 7 years. Child support is based on parentage.
/r/askTRP26/07/18 06:09 PM
10

I've already tried to mediate the situation but her response is that she wants to go to court. Yes, this was via text messaging. Yes, we are bringing it to court.
/r/askTRP26/07/18 03:32 PM
75

I am currently spending my kids' college funds in lawyer fees. No, I won't give up on my kids. Got to keep positive. There really is no other choice for the next 15 years.
/r/askTRP26/07/18 09:28 AM
3

This true. I've not thought about it this way.
/r/MGTOW26/07/18 08:12 AM
138

I'm not an older guy but I pay 70% of my income to the whore that stole our kids from me. Family court is fucked, if you are a dad.
/r/askTRP26/07/18 07:58 AM
2

Wtf.
/r/MensRights25/07/18 05:26 PM
2

There should be a third option.
/r/MGTOW25/07/18 01:03 AM
2

I feel bad for the guy getting yelled at. There is nothing he can do. If he leaves, then that is abuse of abandonment. If he stays, then that is emotional abuse. I just feel bad.
/r/MGTOW24/07/18 05:12 PM
3

From everyone in MN, we are sorry.
/r/MGTOW20/07/18 02:38 AM
1

Is Wendy Williams a dude?
/r/MGTOW19/07/18 05:04 AM
7

Your prior comments indicate that you are 18.
/r/MGTOW18/07/18 01:39 PM
1

For science
/r/askTRP18/07/18 04:15 AM
3

Odd, I was thinking about getting a cat.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/18 04:03 AM
1

....but she is crying...so...she doesn't need to face her crimes. I can't imagine being the toddler that has to grow up knowing that someone tried to murder them and that person faced no prison sentence, just probation. You can get a prison sentence for vandalism but not attempted murder?
/r/MensRights17/07/18 08:37 AM
1

Reciprocity agreements.
/r/MGTOW16/07/18 10:38 PM
1

Please post link or pm me. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/18 06:43 PM
2

Ask your attorney to file a no response petition for divorce. If she doesn't respond in a set amount of days, you get what is spelled out in the petition. That is how it works in MN. I had to respond to my stbxw, disagreed with almost everything. If I didn't respond, the she would have everything and we would be divorced by now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/18 01:27 PM
8

Sit on your hand and then touch your pee-pee, it's about the same.
/r/MGTOW12/07/18 11:49 AM
4

Been there. Done that. Don't want to go back.
/r/MGTOW12/07/18 11:48 AM
1

*Alphabet, the parent company of Google
/r/askTRP12/07/18 11:40 AM
1

Where to go these stickers?
/r/MensRights12/07/18 06:24 AM
1

I love Kathy Griffin!
/r/MGTOW09/07/18 03:31 AM
9

This is what happened to me. Seriously. There is no support for men in the family court system. The most support is, "well, that sucks. I hope you pull through this."
/r/MGTOW09/07/18 01:45 AM
12

Yes, there is sexism. From management, co-workers, the patients and the patients' family. There is nothing you can do, at this point. Just laugh it off. Like water off a duck's back. Also, most men in nursing go into management or grad school. So, be on the look-out for co-workers that will look down on you for this potential career growth. Source: I was a CNA for a summer.
/r/askTRP09/07/18 01:01 AM
7

This hits too close to home. :(
/r/MGTOW07/07/18 03:21 AM
2

Not in public, Harold! Put that away!
/r/askTRP06/07/18 05:08 PM
1

This is likely wire fraud.
/r/MGTOW05/07/18 01:28 PM
2

What does a gender studies major actually intend to be employed as after graduation? Nurses goes to nursing school, etc.
/r/MGTOW05/07/18 01:18 PM
2

Probably. Take everything and divide by two.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/18 10:10 PM
10

My state's greatest embarrassment -NEVER UPDATING THIS MODEL. Sorry everyone. From everyone in Minnesota, we are sorry.
/r/MGTOW04/07/18 04:25 PM
1

I love to cook and I'm actually good at it.
/r/MGTOW03/07/18 11:27 PM
22

Honestly, that would be the best option. No work, free food and housing. Not a fan of prison rape, but gotta roll the dice.
/r/MGTOW30/06/18 09:57 PM
4

Exactly. Society likes to note that suicide is an irrational, emotional response to a temporary situation. On the contrary, Dads that lose in a custody battle are placed into a court-ordered slavery. No, they cannot see their kids but yes, they must pay for their ex-wives to sleep around and take their kids on expensive vacations. Sorry dad, you are only an ATM. Sorry dad, you cannot have a relationship with your own children.
/r/MGTOW30/06/18 12:50 PM
13

WTF. This happened to me, minus the long term homeless part. Yeah, I went from home owner to homeless in less than a week. I slept in my car, did Airbnb, and lived with a co-worker for a week, during the busy tax seadon. All because I confronted my then-wife about her boyfriend. Yeah, it's domestic abuse. The court system always goes to the victim and women are generally seen as the victim. How many women's shelters have you seen vs. men's shelters?
/r/MGTOW30/06/18 06:01 AM
7

Custody battles suck. I often ponder this as a valid option. Just imagine everyone you love is taken away from you. Now imagine that you have to pay most of your salary to the party that stole your kids from you. This is family court for dads.
/r/MGTOW30/06/18 05:47 AM
1

Depends on the parties. Divorces in the USA can be a simple form filing procedure or, a lengthy and costly battle.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/18 04:51 PM
37

What's all this commotion?
/r/MGTOW26/06/18 04:54 PM
1

What? How?
/r/MensRights26/06/18 04:53 PM
1

Is there a similar attorney in MN?
/r/MGTOW23/06/18 05:33 PM
2

Where is the best place to buy used Pokemon cards? My 6 year old son has really taken a likening to them.
/r/MGTOW23/06/18 02:17 PM
5

Pumps and dumps.
/r/MGTOW23/06/18 02:15 PM
2

Mom is always right.
/r/MensRights22/06/18 05:26 PM
1

Lark toys? In MN?
/r/MGTOW22/06/18 05:23 PM
4

metoo Does that work here?
/r/MGTOW21/06/18 08:00 PM
2

Going through a divorce, right now. Every decision, every court appearance, and every meeting, my ex has: Refused to look at me Always cried about being a victim Refused to provide details of her false claims, because she is too scared Always had a women's shelter advocate to cry with and sit next to. We are getting a divorce because she was caught cheating and now, tries to falsely invent a history of abuse. Reason: There is no incentive in the family court for my ex to be rationale, or even te…
/r/MGTOW21/06/18 07:56 PM
23

There is a loophole for 'if the person truly believes that her statements are true and/or would have no way of knowing of the falsehood.' I have a similar situation in a custody battle. My ex has lied under oath multiple times, even after we have showed her and the court documents contradicting her statements. Yes, she has lied under oath but we can't sue her for slander against me because she believes her lies are true and correct.
/r/MensRights21/06/18 07:38 PM
3

...giving birth to great music....
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/18 04:57 PM
5

Jackpot! I just sent them an email. Their website doesn't seem to be updated in a few years.
/r/MensRights12/06/18 05:43 PM
4

This only works if both sides want to dissolve the marriage in a logical manner. I will be in debt or broke after this divorce process. My ex wants 100% custody because she is the mom. She will not negotiate. As a result, I am signing over our kids' college funds to my legal team, just to be in my kids' lives.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/18 02:01 PM
2

The funny thing (ha ha..) is that I took the LSAT, applied and was accepted in law school several years ago. Instead, I chose to follow my ex's career... I've considered law school again in the future (employer paid fully). Not now.
/r/MensRights11/06/18 03:04 AM
2

I work from home. My employer provided a written statement indicating that I could watch the kids while working from home. My ex still refuses to agree to that arrangement (even though it would save us thousands). The reason is that my ex's whole reason for getting a divorce is that I am a 'bad dad'. If she would go with this option, then the truth would have to come out for the divorce ->> my ex was sleeping around and (later) had her boyfriend move in after I moved out.
/r/MensRights11/06/18 02:20 AM
3

your exes actions in unilaterally making this decision might work against her, but only if you play by the rules and don't give her legal team a means to use it against you Yes, this. I think that I will win in the short term but get screwed over in the long term. It is very disheartening and frustrating to get disregarded as a parent in family court. I need to have more patience with this process.
/r/MensRights11/06/18 02:09 AM
3

It's sad, real sad. Budgeting is also considered domestic abuse as you are limiting her spending abilities. I almost shit myself when our social workers told me this tidbit. I'm a CPA/MBA and they are social workers -> something doesn't add up.
/r/MensRights10/06/18 01:45 PM
4

The Duluth model is the only reason that I am ashamed of being from Minnesota. This was good for equal rights back in the 1970s but is outdated for today. According to this model, making decisions without your wife is considered domestic abuse as you 'are making decisions as a man.' Yet, it is still used in women's shelters (here in MN) as the gold standard.
/r/MensRights10/06/18 12:58 PM
229

This is very much like my ex ... not once has she referred to our children in court as "our" or "the" children but always 'my children.' Our family court judge had to remind her that it takes two to make a child and the father (me) has rights to the kids. Our local women's shelter tells my ex about 'her rights' and railroads me hard. *I am saying this because she has followed a common template to try to take our kids away from me, including inventing current and past abuse.
/r/MensRights10/06/18 12:22 PM
0

Everything can be leaked...
/r/MensRights07/06/18 02:46 PM
5

Arson? Call the police. Accidental lawnmower fires do not ignite the rear tires.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/18 12:22 AM
8

My man - Denzel Washington
/r/MGTOW03/06/18 03:34 AM
2

In MN, one person serves the papers to the other and the other person responds. There isn't a dual paper servicing. Also, only one parent needs to take the class on behalf of both parents. It's bonkers; my ex should take the course but is not required because I already taken the class to be the best single dad possible.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/18 03:17 AM
1

My ex has requested that I pay her legal fees, even though she earns significantly more than me. We are waiting patiently as her whole case is based on me being aggressive, so we will ask the court for her to cover our legal fees in the settlement. Any advice?
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/18 06:51 PM
1

Same here. My soon to be ex would expect me to make all of the plans and keep her happy. If I didn't, then apparently I didn't love her enough. It was exhausting, to say the least.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/18 10:22 AM
2

I love Norm, the more that I learn about him.
/r/MGTOW13/05/18 02:21 PM
7

Remember, you can be the most stable, rational person but it takes two to mediate. I have three toddlers, which mean the world to me. I also wanted 50/50 custody because that is the assumption and I love my kids. We mediated for three hours during the second week in December. We didn't even get to discuss parenting during Christmas break. My ex would not discuss anything until I admitted that I was the bad guy and the reason for all of her problems in life. The mediator would talk with me for 10…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/18 06:08 PM
1

A nice lawn is nice to watch.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/18 07:44 PM
1

I grew up in IA and currently live in MN. PM me if you want to vent.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/18 12:48 AM
1

Document everything that you do with the kids. 2. Document everything you do with your wife. 3. Talk to a lawyer for your options. It's tough now, but it will be helpful in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/18 12:54 AM
8

I agree with your statements, but I am speaking from the experience of the last several months of my life. I have had to talk with police and/or child protection services every week since Sept. to talk about her false allegations. Nothing ever specific but always vague enough to keep a file open. One child protection service worker, told me that we will keep meeting until I admit to the false abuse. Nope. I will do anything for my kids, even if I have meetings for the next 15 years We have three…
/r/MensRights16/04/18 10:08 AM
1

You could try but I don't think it would work. I was thinking something like a memo, letter, or something that states, 'here are your assets, here are mine, and we agree to split' with signatures and notaries. If you are unethical (I am not saying that you are, just mentioning), then perhaps you could also make some 'bad financial decisions' before filing. You don't have to actually make bad decisions, just make it appear reasonable. Then after the divorce, find a reasonable idea how you are now…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/18 03:58 PM
289

Our local women's shelters don't provide information on how to improve the lives of women who reach out for help. Rather, they provide pamphlets on how to claim to be a victim in order to 'receive their rightful share of child support and alimony.' I shit you not. They have templates on what to say to social services and how to remember things from their past. Sorry, I just venting.
/r/MensRights15/04/18 02:53 PM
3

Is anything in writing? Any agreement that she signed on the separation? Otherwise, it sounds like you are now dividing half of what is remaining.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/18 02:39 PM
3

Some libraries rent audio books for free.
/r/askTRP13/04/18 08:09 PM
23

In my city, there are more than a dozen women's shelters and no men's shelters.
/r/MGTOW13/04/18 07:14 PM
5

First, here is a ((hug)). Hugs always help in times like this. Second, honestly, the woman that I am divorcing is not the woman that I fell in love with and married. The woman that I am divorcing is not the happy mother and wife in our family photos. Yes, I can think of the great times we had in the past but that is not the present or future. It sucks and I hope the best for her but my wife is no longer there. Divorce is hard because you grieve the loss of a relationship, status, etc. The person…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/18 04:09 PM
1

Oh, God. I'm sorry, I'm tired. Yeah, if you make about the same, then you can't demand alimony (unless unusual circumstances). Yes, split the insurances seems reasonable but don't spend dollars over pennies.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/18 10:21 PM
1

Ok, I know in MN, the nights stayed with each parent determines the child support, custody, expense split, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/18 10:21 PM
1

Be careful with whom you rent. If you get a violent or a sex offender, then your ex could easily claim custody. Not sure what state you are in but I remember reading this bit of advice (when I was thinking the same thing). Best of luck!
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/18 10:03 PM
1

Can you demand alimony? This isn't gender specific, but usually tied to current earnings.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/18 09:59 PM
2

Demand that she pays you alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/18 08:02 AM
1

Hey, hang in there. Is it possible to take a few days or a week to do some solo-vacationing? Just a thought to help you set some long term goals.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/18 10:57 PM
6

By the end of 2018, I will have three options. I will be (1) broke, (2) dead, or (3) in prison. I don't have anything above a parking ticket on my record. I have a well respected, very stable job as a tax CPA. My ex had the affair and her boyfriend lives with her and our kids. Family court is based on 'mother knows best' and I have to prove that I am a great dad. I have met with the police or social services for every week since September 2017. My ex earns more than me but receives free resource…
/r/MensRights09/04/18 06:49 AM
1

Probably try the divorce sub.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/18 09:09 AM
1

Divorced men looking for divorced men?
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/18 02:12 AM
2

I have 3, 5 and 6 year old kids. Their mother had an affair and her boyfriend moved in shortly after I moved out. My 6 year old is being coached by his mother to claim that I am abusing him. It hurts my heart. I try to explain that mommy is doing something bad and not telling the truth is bad. I try to explain that most families don't have Social services highly involved in their lives. My 6 year old screams that is not true because that is not what his mommy's boyfriend said. All I am trying to…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/18 04:27 PM
2

One thought. If you decide to give her money for the kids, then write in big lettering in the memo line of the check "CHILD SUPPORT." Later, if she takes you to court, then you won't look like a deadbeat who won't pay child support. She will argue past unwritten debt or a gift, if you don't clearly note the payments are child support.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/18 02:53 PM
2

No.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/18 04:52 PM
1

Keep calm and document everything. Family court is a circus.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/18 07:48 PM
1

How did you the valuation? I left the home and my stbxw trashed it and did not maintain it. I've got a realtor that is undervaluing the home, based on current condition. My stbxw is claiming abuse (which is completely unfounded), so she probably also played the victim card to lower the price.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/18 05:06 PM
2

If you are seriously thinking about divorce, the consider which state is more friendly to your long term parental/relationship goals. For example, you may need to live in a state for 6 months before filing for divorce or moving to another state could be considered abandonment. Think about parenting and alimony concerns.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/18 11:21 PM
1

Document every parenting experience, every soccer game attendance, every med appointment, every family picnic, etc. If you decide to get a divorce, then be prepared for a possible emotional attack on your parenting. It may get ugly, or maybe not. Be prepared.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/18 09:46 PM
1

Memories fade over time and remember the bad with the good.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/18 10:00 PM
3

Congrats!?
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/18 03:06 AM
1

Hang in there. Denial sometimes makes people forget reality. We have to trust that judges will look at all of the facts and make a fair and wise decision. All divorce proceedings end, at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/18 04:28 PM
1

19 months in MN? I thought we had the fast track family court, where the max is 12 months. We filed in Sept., mediated in Dec., went to initial case management in Jan/Feb., and have a court date in July. How did you get 19 months? How did it get delayed? Our lawyers are happy to write each other letters for $300+ each.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/18 01:49 PM
1

In MN, if the parties don't agree, then the judge decides. The attorneys, in the mean time, rake in the dough during the non-decision time.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/18 11:31 PM
3

File a police report asap and bring as many details as possible. This is fraud. You need some sort of legal document showing that you did not authorize the signature.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/18 02:08 PM
2

Where?
/r/askTRP16/03/18 08:37 PM
2

You are the model for your children. Do what is best for them. Tough decisions but necessary. Get a great lawyer and the fog will lift to give you a better vision.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/18 11:19 PM
1

Well, there is legal action but it is generally not worth the effort.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/18 05:04 PM
2

Set up appointments with a few lawyers. Most lawyers schedule 1-2 months out, so nothing immediate is required from you. My biggest mistake was thinking that divorce attorneys are plentiful and available to talk today. Everything takes time, and a little preparation goes a long distance. Don't move out.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/18 04:36 PM
2

This hits close to home. Inflated costs plus asking for hand outs at the local shelter. She pulls in six figures by herself in a lcol area.
/r/MGTOW12/03/18 12:42 PM
2

The rule of thumb in MN is alimony runs until a reasonable person would be able to secure employment. That means a spouse may need to be compensated for taking courses to obtain skills for employment. Here, it is not a equalizing state, but rather a preparation state to get the spouse reasonably employed. I budgeted $30K for my divorce and I believe that I am a third of the way there.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/18 10:31 AM
3

Cue the Dave Chappell joke.
/r/MGTOW10/03/18 11:22 PM
3

Yes.
/r/askTRP10/03/18 11:15 PM
1

Best of advice for most situations.
/r/askTRP10/03/18 08:29 PM
6

Yes.
/r/askTRP09/03/18 09:05 PM
1

in the microwave
/r/MGTOW09/03/18 03:41 AM
10

And custody agreements... Hits home for me.....
/r/MGTOW08/03/18 02:26 PM
85

The rapist, therapist. Sometimes a little space goes a long way.
/r/MGTOW08/03/18 12:57 AM
1

American Express CEO.
/r/askTRP07/03/18 05:59 PM
16

I never found Peggy attractive
/r/MGTOW07/03/18 05:52 PM
2

Now?
/r/MGTOW06/03/18 07:41 AM
1

Is there any way to revisit the custody or is it worth waiting a few years when she is an adult to contact? Just some ideas. This hits me in the feels.
/r/MGTOW06/03/18 07:28 AM
3

It takes time. There will be ups and downs. I've felt ready to move on but then get pushed back. The waves get further apart.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/18 02:55 PM
16

I'm waiting for the vasalgel to be approved in the USA.
/r/MGTOW05/03/18 02:21 AM
3

I like soy milk. Great, now soy has another meaning to learn. Perhaps, I am too old.
/r/MGTOW01/03/18 12:59 AM
2

One would think that a guy who shows that he is a great dad, would also be a great mate.
/r/askTRP19/02/18 06:27 PM
1

Fap...fap...fap...the sound of the wind.
/r/askTRP18/02/18 01:29 PM
10

Some single mothers are good. I think the single mothers that put their own desires over the best interests of their kids are the ones that suck.
/r/MGTOW13/02/18 11:06 AM
9

My wife had the affair. I lost my house, my dogs, my van, my kids, and her boyfriend moved in. I am the abuser and am at fault. I need to pay her monthly in order for her to "maintain her life style as during the marriage." I still don't understand this logic. This makes me question life sometimes.
/r/MGTOW10/02/18 04:46 AM
1

I was thinking the same thing. A change in circumstances (such as losing a job) may be enough to change the order. Note, some states still have a minimum child support.
/r/MGTOW10/02/18 12:52 AM
3

What is worse, a few dancing courses of awkwardness or a lifetime of wondering 'what if'? It's really your decision. I would rather fail than not try.
/r/askTRP09/02/18 10:43 AM
3

Boyfriend doesn't mean married.
/r/askTRP09/02/18 10:29 AM
11

Tomorrow, get a lawyer. Don't do anything tonight, other than something you enjoy (e.g. watch a favorite movie). There are legal services available that can help. For me, the initial shock was the worst. It does get better.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/18 12:50 AM
2

(((Hugs))). Here is what I try to do, maybe it is helpful. I tell my kids to keep being great kids and that Mommy and Daddy love them very much. This is a issue between Mommy and Daddy, that we will figure out.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/18 12:10 AM
2

Oddly, I almost went to law school. Visited schools, took the LSAT, got recommendations, but never pulled the trigger. Perhaps, life would be different, if I just went to law school.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/18 10:47 AM
3

My attorney's advice for when I mentioned that I couldn't afford the settlement, "A lot of people get part-time jobs." In order to finance a life that I don't want, I have to work 70+ hours a week (45hrs main job plus 25hrs part time job).
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/18 12:39 AM
2

That's her logic, not reality.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/17 01:50 AM
1

Put nothing in writing until your lawyer reviews it. My ex wanted me to write apology letters, which I foolishly did to try and reconcile our marriage. Those apology letters (which were false) appear in court against me. I was dumb and in love. Please don't make my mistakes.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/17 05:06 PM
6

Start documenting everything. Now. The family court system favors women over men and you will need to prove that you are a great dad and the best interest of the kids is to stay with you. I know that I will get down voted for this comment. In my experience, I have had to prove that I am a great dad for the last 3 month, while my soon to be ex is assumed to be a great mom. She used to ask me to watch our kids (which I love to do) while she went out drinking and banging random dudes.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/17 05:04 PM
3

Thanks! I asked to see my kids last week during mediation and my ex wanted me to first falsely admit that I abused our kids. In the past, I would have agreed to anything to see my kids. Now, I am not playing her games anymore. I love my kids and am patient for the court system to do its job.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/17 05:01 PM
1

What is this??
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/17 08:00 AM
2

I hope you are right.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/17 02:53 AM
2

Yes, I have their name, title and phone number. In MN, if there is an immediate danger of a child, the child is removed from the accused by CPS with a police escort. The child lives with his mom and I have court-order visitation rights every other weekend (Sat. 9am - Sun. 4pm). I have court-ordered visitation right because the mother received an order for protection (OFP) against me due to emotional abuse. I yelled at her for having an affair and she called the police. The court used the police …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/17 02:52 AM
2

No, I didn't record the phone call. I was expecting a "case closed" phone call from CPS for prior false accusations. This was completely out of no where. I have met with CPS every week for the last 8 weeks to cover these prior false accusations and my case managers were strongly suggesting that they were approaching the end. Yes, the Police and CPS went to my oldest child's school to interview him over the accusations. I have no idea what these questions covered. I definitely didn't abuse any of…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/17 12:40 AM
2

Try taking a vacation by yourself for a few days. Think about life and the direction you want it to go. Think about your wife and kids. Think about your marriage and life in general. Once you start down the path of divorce, it is very difficult to change direction. Divorce may be the best path (or may not), but it is good to make sure this is the direction that you want.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/17 01:38 AM
1

For example in MN, you only need the 'reasonable assurance' that harm could happen to the person requesting the protective order. My wife told me she was blowing the neighbor and that was enough to issue a protective order. I am a non-violent person and never have been, but it is reasonable to believe the average person would cause her harm.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/17 01:34 AM
5

First, I am thinking positive thoughts for you. This is a difficult time and it is a process. Others have survived and so can you. Second, would you consider this emotional abuse? If the shoe was on the other foot, then how would she react? Some states have free resources for victims of emotional abuse. Third, think about the future. I know this is tough at this point but think about the future. Would you like to stay with someone that is sharing intimate communications with other men? Lastly, w…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/17 02:06 PM
3

It's hard but be strong. Divorce is the separation of futures. Everyday, you are growing apart so it will be easier.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/17 12:06 AM
1

Does your state have a guidelines for marital support and/or child support? Unless agreed otherwise, that should be the amount paid out.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/17 11:58 PM
2

Follow the divorce agreement, to the letter. Go to mediation, her refusal of mediation would not look good in court.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/17 01:02 AM
2

I guess another was of saying this is 'to make the best of a bad situation.'
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/17 10:59 PM
1

My STBXW tried to prevent me from seeing our kids during a court ordered visit. I called the police and requested a civil standby. I handed the police a copy of the court order. After 3.5 hours, my STBXW released our kids to me. The police did a great job.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/17 10:58 PM
2

Good advice. I plan to record all meetings going forward. I honestly didn't think I would be threatened by a social worker because of the prior friendly meetings, but I guess this is where I am at.
/r/askTRP04/11/17 01:47 PM
2

I work in tax, so my job is quite seasonal. I told my manager everything and she was supportive (can work from home, take PTO whenever, etc.). I do want to caution that not all managers are as supportive so, be careful.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/17 01:44 PM
1

I'm in the midwest. I'm budgeting $10K and 1 year for my dissolution. Not sure if helpful, but wanted to share.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/17 01:41 PM
1

Think of the long term. People tend to act in patterns over the long term. Be civil and positive. Eventually, her pattern of behavior will be evident as unreasonable to the average person working in the case.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/17 01:39 PM
2

Try Meetup. It's a wonderful app that matches you with people with similar hobbies/interests.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/17 01:37 PM
1

*Encourage and be supportive of her getting a job. It doesn't sound good to 'let her get a job' as that indicates personal control. At any rate, I am thinking positive thoughts for OP as getting a divorce is generally a difficult and long process.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/17 08:51 AM
1

Check out the value your insurance company places on the items in the house. If you are correct, then the insurance company would have a replacement value of zero for the items in the house. For me, I created a itemized list of everything in the house and an approximate replacement value. After a few hundred items in the list, the total became a material amount.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/17 08:49 AM
2

Do what you like to do. Work on you. For me, I am generally uncomfortable being around strangers. On the flip side, I know that if I sit by myself, I will just get sad/depressed thinking about the ongoing issues. One day at a time works for me but it is different for everyone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/17 08:45 AM
1

Jesus Christ - 'Out of the Fog' explains my estranged wife to a "T." Thank you so much for sharing this website, it is quite helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/17 10:56 PM
3

Stop paying it, unless you are legally required to do so. My estranged wife had a list of demands that she wanted me to pay every month. Everything from a shared Netflix account to auto insurance (and beyond). My attorney advised me that I could pay these individual bills but the court in my state would only acknowledge that I wasn't directly paying child/spousal support. In order words, I could pay all of these small bills in lieu but could be sued for not paying support (i.e. could be forced t…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/17 10:44 PM
3

This. Try Meetup. It is a fantastic way to meet people that like that same hobbies, activities, etc. For example, I found a group that does board games (and only board games). It's so wacky and fun. I would suggest trying Meetup.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/17 10:37 PM
2

My only option (e.g. ignoring her) is the correct answer. This advice is what I needed to hear. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/17 09:56 PM
2

Difficult decisions - I'm thinking positive thoughts for you. edit: spelling
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/17 08:00 AM
2

I go to a church affiliated counselor. He doesn't bring up religion unless I do. I really think it is on a case-by-case basis whether the religious group would be 'in-your-face' type religious.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/17 11:47 PM
1

Similar thing happened to me. My ex-wife would go out all night with 'friends' and the one night I go out for a few hours, then she loses it. I seriously think she has some control issues.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/17 11:44 PM
3

Be sure to get a great attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/17 11:42 PM
3

I found myself in a similar marital situation. I felt that we were staying together for the sake of the kids and that we could mutually separate after they all go off to college. My soon-to-be-ex-wife sped up the process by sleeping with the neighbor guy. I miss her but I also had to resign the fact that we don't really love each anymore and should go separate ways. Its tough but it gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/17 01:17 AM
1

These kinds words are really helpful to read. It does get better.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/17 01:09 AM
1

I was thinking the same thing. Even if you do everything right in the relationship, it takes two to make a relationship. The other party cannot be a scumbag.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/17 01:07 AM
1

Its tough. My soon-to-be-ex-wife did similar things. First, take care of yourself. You cannot control what she does or doesn't do. She could be having an affair or not. You don't know until she admits it or you discover it. Second, check with an attorney and counselor. My attorney noted that in my state, it doesn't really matter if my soon-to-be-ex-wife was having an affair. The court doesn't really care (e.g. its not illegal to have an affair). Thirdly, take care of your children. You and your …
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/17 12:50 AM
1

First, I am sorry to hear this news. Its difficult to get surprised by bad news. Second, ask your attorney about the difference between assets you owned before and during the marriage. Some states allow you to claim your assets that you owned before getting married.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/17 12:33 AM
1

Exactly. Focus on the current and future relationships with your children. Its tough to be away from the mother, but the children need for you to be there.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/17 12:28 AM
2

I had to Google what NSA sex meant ... we are off to a good start.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/17 10:23 PM
1

Thanks; this is really helpful. I'm currently in counselling. My soon-to-be ex wife wouldn't let me hug her since June. She said it made her feel like she wanted to vomit. Thinking about this, that is about the same time she was banging the neighbor guy. I think I want to take anything right now slow, maybe a 'few beers and laughs' type relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/17 12:47 AM
1

Yes, this. God damn it! . In my state, all you need if reasonable fear of danger to have a protective order issued. I went to the hearing and the judge even noted that I am a good dad but because my wife had two affairs, it was reasonable that I could cause harm to her and issued the protective order.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/17 12:29 PM
1

How did you go about valuing the house?
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/17 12:27 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter