6 years ago. I was married with three kids. We had a home, dual incomes, a live-in au pair, and building the best possible life together. I was wrong and my ex was sleeping the au pair's friend.

5 years ago. I lost custody of my kids but still see them roughly half the time. I was super depressed at this time. I tried dating but that was just a horrible experience. The dating pool changed, and I didn't. As a dating candidate in my 30s, I honestly don't want to follow your social media and I'm not your source of entertainment.

4 years ago. I went full monk mode and worked completely on myself. I focused on my work, my kids, and saved up for a new home.

3 years ago. I responded to an ad on Reddit on a whim. I was fully expecting to be cat-fished, assaulted or robbed. Gotta take chances? Right? After a few weeks of chatting, we met in person. She seemed nice.

2 years ago. My finances have stabilized and I'm starting to rebuild my nest egg. During the divorce, my ex received 1/3, I received a 1/3 and the attorneys received a 1/3. Taking a 67% cut is not good, but it's repairable after everyone else was paid out.

1 year ago. Really nothing exciting, just keep working on myself.

This year. I went on a week-long vacation with my girlfriend of 3 years (same Redditor). She seems nice. My kids are doing well when they are at home with me.

Next 5 years? I plan to keep supporting my kids. At some point, I'll have to go back to court to deal with my ex but that'll happen in time. My 10 & 12 year olds absolutely hate living with their mom but she's their mom, so we talk and process feelings. As for my girlfriend, I hope we keep building a relationship. If not, then I really hope the best and I'll continue to garden with my overweight cat. I have built a nice life that I'd like to share it with someone special.

TLDR - In the past 6 years, I have survived and thrived from my unexpected divorce. Life happens but you build the life that you want. Give it time. Nothing happened for me overnight. Stay calm and the course.

Extra info. A different path in life.

My ex received full legal custody, sent the police multiple times to my home/work, received a restraining order against me, falsely claimed abuse for her and our children. The result after 6 years?

My ex is set to have her 6th child this year. That's 3 from me, 2 from her affair partner, and 1 from her current husband. Yes, my ex claimed in court that she barely knew the affair partner but then had 2 kids with him (?).

My ex is in massive debt and keeps trying to bribe our children with gifts & vacations. The current stepfather keeps buying new cars, new gadgets, purebred dogs, etc., without a job. Not sure the thought process here.

Our children absolutely despise their mother. Our 10 & 12 year olds open state that they want to live with me full time. Heck, one kid told multiple therapists and social workers that he is afraid of his mom and stepfather. Child protection services investigated and concluded that 'dad is influencing the children' and refuse to do anything at mom's home. My ex keeps changing providers when the kids open up to them and start to speak badly about my ex.

TLDR - My ex still blames me for everything wrong in her life and refuses to take any responsibility. Our children have taken notice and think it's weird. At some point, our kids will better understand their mother.