Dating post divorce

Bedsweater · 2020-05-25T05:19:50+00:00

it's too soon mate. also the thing you have to realize is even when you are ready to move on people are going to look at you as 'damaged goods'.

I had a girl I was talking to and we had some dates. she seemed nice and I liked her. she was a bit pushy on the sex part and I had to hold my hand up and say 'hey let's get to know each other first, I'm not looking for a hookup'.

but then when she found out I was divorced she checked out on the spot. we were at a bar having a good time and she just shut down. her exact words was 'oh so this is a rebound?' I told her no not at all but it made no difference.

on the positive side you will move on from this! It sucks and it's gunna take time but it will get better.

Igleslogle · 2020-05-25T03:51:51+00:00

Theres levels to it . The thoughts only go away with time . I was straight up w the woman i spoke to online but i would get into these I thought i was ready for a new relationship but then i withdrew .. not nice on my part but it never felt right so I would end it . I would take a couple months off dating but then get lonely. Always still in love with the fantasy of the ex but that ship sailed so This last time i dated this girl for 6 months it was better but she was shady still talking to her baby daddy and whatever so i cut that one off . It gets better man but the fantasy of what we all once had always creeps in your thoughts. Its normal but it lessens after time . Even after 2 +years its hard .

CoatedWinner · 2020-05-25T12:58:49+00:00

Do whatever makes you happy. Be upfront and honest about it with yourself. Dont push yourself too hard and dont expect anything serious right off the bat.

Its a grieving process for many, if not most. It gets easier with time. Much like losing a loved one (which is divorce in many cases) - you dont ever truly forget or simply stop thinking about them immediately but over time things get a bit easier and you focus on your current world with more clarity. Your marriage was a big event in your life you put a lot of energy into and it shaped you. Your divorce is an equally big event that shapes who you are.

Just take time you need. No guidebook exists, but if you are appreciating conversation for taking your mind off of things, keep doing that.

gmack2547 · 2020-05-25T10:31:26+00:00

It's different for everyone, you'll see with those apps you can move as fast or slow as you'd like. More often than not if you don't move fast they'll move on anyway. If you want, use the apps and let the women help gauge when to be ready. It's a whole new world out here from what I used to know man. It seems like the app/messaging is how you'll meet, and get to know the women, most likely see them naked for the first time etc. It's weird meet ups are sexually based. Then back to messaging. Rarely phone calls etc. No real intimacy very little human contact in my opinion these days.

Bobfrom815 · 2020-05-26T01:42:59+00:00

I'm in a different position. My divorce has just started and I'm excited to meet new people, of the opposite sex, too hang out with. I'm only looking for new friendships. My STBXW was starting an argument with me earlier and I told her under no uncertain terms how excited I am to meet someone that shared my interests and had a positive influence on me. Shockingly, she's been nice to me the rest of the day.

jeffrrw · 2020-05-26T15:02:05+00:00

I think it's a mistake, especially if you have not gotten over the ex, but I think it's a mistake that you have to learn from going through it and no amount of internet strangers words is really going to sink it in.

Women are generally much better emotional communicators and will pick up on your wandering thoughts and feelings and will break it off with you. If you start verbally comparing your ex and the new flame, that new flame is going to run for the hills.

Once your heart is broken again you'll really see the light and start working on yourself and your feelings hopefully

MNCPA · 2020-05-26T01:53:22+00:00

It'll hurt for a while. It sucks when you go on a date and all you have is memories of your ex. I just felt bad for the person sitting on the other side of the table. Often times, I just went on a date for the fancy food at high end restaurants (I'm a foodie).

The thing is that everyone has baggage from prior relationships. The key point, in my opinion, is whether you want to think about memories or make new memories.

It's tough for guys. We need to show confidence and take the lead.

My advice: figure out what you want or what you like and go after it. It is easier to build confidence in a hobby than a new relationship.

Title	Dating post divorce
Author	yawnoc1977
Upvotes	20
Comments	7
Date	May 25, 2020 3:35 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/gq3n6c/dating_post_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dating-post-divorce.818196 https://theredarchive.com/post/818196

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