When will I learn?

whitehat2222 · 2020-04-21T11:50:01+00:00

100%. I've made this mistake a few times. I think it's natural to think the person you were with, who knows you better than anyone will be able to understand what you are going through. I wasn't asking to come back just letting her know I wasn't in a good place.

She did a great job of making me think she still cared and then the following day she screwed me over once again!

I guess it's all part of the learning process, but in fact I think after the last time she actually did me a huge favour. The person I married is gone, the person I'm dealing with now is a self centered stranger that I have no interest in being friends with. She's just a women that I have some kids with.

MNCPA · 2020-04-21T13:25:27+00:00

The person you married is not the person you divorce.

jpgtsi · 2020-04-21T15:47:32+00:00

I made this mistake too many times also. When it is over it is over. I cant be friends or have any truthful relationship with my ex either. I believe in karma.

LordDeathstrike · 2020-04-21T17:54:05+00:00

These are the people that know you best and how to manipulate you and press all your buttons. Anything you say to them in private will be used against you. Never tell them how you feel or what you are thinking. Keep things civil and do not argue. If you need to discuss why you wish them a slow painful death hire a therapist

4agreements · 2020-04-21T14:23:22+00:00

We’ve all done this. We’re human.

derelictherds · 2020-04-21T16:58:00+00:00

Been there for sure. Especially tempting to share when she breaks the silence and comes to me for emotional support or seeking advice. Try writing or typing your thoughts and wait a day to see if you still feel like sharing with her. Works for me most of the time. Open up to a close friend for family member if that doesn't work.

Good luck

SpacemanLost · 2020-04-21T23:41:32+00:00

I noticed this tendency with my ex. Things said innocently years prior would be twisted and trotted out to be used against me in any way she could. Context would be invented.

It seems like women are more likely to invest in their verbal and social manipulation skills, but I'm sure it isn't exclusive to them. I wish more people knew (going into relationships) that it's a serious red flag behavior to look out for.

Title	When will I learn?
Author	hehimhissheshimshis
Upvotes	23
Comments	10
Date	April 21, 2020 11:42 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/g5doyv/when_will_i_learn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-will-i-learn.818313 https://theredarchive.com/post/818313

Comments