My STBX and I have filed for divorce. We had been separated, but still on very good terms. I was still very much inlove, and wanted her back. We spoke on the phone fairly regularly, and spent time together. She would often tell me how much she missed me and cared about me. I convinced her to go to marriage counseling with me, and shortly after we had a very nice dinner at the house. I told her I have a letter I had written her, but did not want to discuss the marriage that night. We had a long hug. A few days later i texted her about a female friend asking me to lunch, saying i wouldnt go if she didnt want to to. She said it was fine with her. (She had previously told me to have lunch and coffee, i knew she was atleast spending time with a guy she liked, but swore he didnt like her back and nothing had happened) I ultimately texted her that I wasnt going to go. The next few days she was being very cold to me. I came to visit her, and read her my letter. She said it exactly what she needed to hear. We had a great couple of days, and she wanted to get back together, but shortly after admitted that she slept with her "friend" after a texted her about the girl asking me to lunch. I couldnt deal with it and proceded with the divorce, which I previously never wanted. She put it right on me, saying if I had read her the letter before/ not sent that text it likely wouldnt have happened. Needless to say, this was all very disturbing to me, and has affected me quite a bit, but I have since come to the conclusion that we do not and can not control the actions of others. In hindsite, it sounds like a classic Grass is Greener tale. I found out later that they had in fact already been dating, but hadnt gone all the way untill that night. I wish she could have atleast been honest with me. I still love her, but we've both since moved on. I can't help thinking that a couple different moves at the end could have changed my life.