I want to learn how to process anger and sorrow in a healthy way.

Maviarab · 2021-05-18T23:24:25+00:00

Everyone is different I'm afraid and what works for one may not for another. However, things you can try to calm your mind are:

Meditation
Yoga/Tai Chi
Breathing exercises
Actual exercise
Doing what you've just done. Write out your thoughts.

One thing I like is reading a passage daily from the Tao Te Ching (Book of the Way)...amazing book, opens your mind to things and gives you different perspective. Read one page (poem) a day...reflect on it.

Hope you find something that works for you.

mikesteane · 2021-05-19T00:01:07+00:00

Some people characterise communication into 4 groups: 1. Aggressive (trying to push others around) 2. Passive (getting pushed around) 3. Passive-aggressive (not standing up for yourself, reacting by, for example, walking away muttering instead of being upfront about dissatisfaction.) This is what you are doing e.g the silent treatment. 4. Assertive, healthy expression in a fair-minded manner. The only healthy style of the four listed.

If you search for "assertiveness" you will probably be able to find tips on how to how to get there. Try watching Jordan Peterson dealing with unreasonable people. When someone asks him a provocative question, stop and think about how you would deal with it. Then watch him.

Because you have had to withdraw into yourself to such a degree, you will have developed an ability to ponder things internally and the skill here is use that ability to 1. be clear in your own head and know the relevant facts before speaking. State your case clearly and minimally, i.e. don't load it with emotion and say only what needs to be said. Then let the other person have space. If necessary, just keep repeating yourself calmly, you don't need to come up with something new if the other person has not met your previous comment.

SamaelET · 2021-05-18T23:52:44+00:00

Martial arts helped me a lot when I was younger.

Odd_Cryptographer492 · 2021-05-19T05:49:56+00:00

Get therapy to sort your emotions learn that your circumstances as a child wasn't in your control grown up. When you feel angry and want fuck something up go to the gym or boxing. Your sorrow doesn't have to define your life work to be the best version of yourself as a man

Blutarg · 2021-05-19T01:05:39+00:00

I'm sorry you went through that. My childhood was similar in that I was basically not allowed to express anger so I have years of it stored up, waiting to break out. Maybe writing a letter to one of your family members would help you process your feelings. You wouldn't have to give it to them, you could burn it when it's done, but writing might bring some closure.

WorldisaCosmicGhetto · 2021-05-19T01:18:22+00:00

Read Will to power by Nietzsche Or Ride the tiger (Evola). Two good philosophy books.

Aggressive_Ad1680 · 2021-05-19T17:13:30+00:00

I would also check out the Human Givens approach. Its a newer psychotherapy model that aims at understanding our symptoms from the perspective of having our needs met. The suggestions are very practical.

https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/blog/the-primal-human-needs

Often anger occurs when our boundaries are violated. Assertive communication will help you establish boundaries. (Also don’t forget to listen and ask someone you respect for advice, those of us with abusive pasts can be really bad at having an innate understanding of healthy boundaries)

As someone who has gone through years of counseling I would expect some pain when healing the emotional wounds from your past, but if you are feeling intense pain you may want to look for a better way.

To let out the anger and process i would suggest talking to someone who is willing to listen or if you dont want to share with someone, journal.

(I second what others have said about assertive communication)

drinkingisruiningme · 2021-05-19T00:11:21+00:00

For emotional processing, I would advise counselling therapy. It allows for and open space to process difficult emotions and come to terms with painful past events.

Title	I want to learn how to process anger and sorrow in a healthy way.
Author	sarkdiedonce
Upvotes	30
Comments	15
Date	May 18, 2021 11:15 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/nfpcl0/i_want_to_learn_how_to_process_anger_and_sorrow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-want-to-learn-how-to-process-anger-and-sorrow-in.828077 https://theredarchive.com/post/828077

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