Edit... I was very disappointed to see I was auto banned on ?/rape for posting here. Men's rights is needed. People need to be people. Fuck gender.. Gender haters need to fuck right off.. Men's rights gives balance to women's rights.. When its peoples rights.. Both should be banned.. Goes for race, religion, and orientation too..

I posted this in men get raped too, and mgtow.. Got some decent feed back.. Mgtow was supportive I guess.. But I think they mostly just hate women.. This sub was suggested.. It is long.. I will respond to all..

Around 2000, I start a relationship with a high school crush. The next year I have a workplace injury.  I ended up having to get a double fusion. It was 10 year ordeal getting better.  I got fat, dependant on opiates. We have a daughter in 2008.  I lose all my weight, get fit, and get off opiates. It was too late.  She started cheating with my friend I have known for 30 years that lives behind us.  Might have been happening for years.  Was with her for 14 years. Hurt, but I want her happy.  I move out, do not hassle her. Try to still be friends with him. But it was awkward and weird. I have my daughter most of the time, and pretty much get my shit together.  

Then I meet the mother of my boys…. I find her attractive, not just looks.  But I love that we both want to work our asses off to have a very basic life in the city we were born in.  It's a resort community now.  Houses are priced out of the range people that actually live here can afford.  I tell her everything.. I'm bisexual, I have a criminal record for dui when I was 20 and theft under for taking what I thought was construction waste with permission. I'm 25pc disabled.  Everything.. I want to be loved for who I am. I would rather scare a lady off, than have her think I'm somthing I'm not. I tell her I take Cialis because of my injury.  I have had trouble maintaing an erection since my fusion surgery. I wasn't really able to have sex from 21yo to 35yo, because of this I make it clear to her that I will not be happy in a sexless relationship.  She accepts all of this.  But immediately questions my Cialis use. Quote.. "does that mean you can't have kids?" I explain how it works.. She also knows I had a daughter post surgery.  She asks me what I want out of life.  I say just a home, a wife, a food garden, and maybe another kid or 2.  We figure we are on the same page.  Rent a home next block over from my brother, and make a date.  Decide to have a kid right away.  Might have been the best year of my life.  Life was good. 

She got pregnant right away.  No effort. She did not have a good pregnancy.  She was a bigger girl before.  I loved her as she was. She gained a lot of weight.  It really bothered her, I was fine with it. Started sleeping in the living room after 3 months. Np.. I get it.. It is more comfortable for her. I would massage her.. Get turned on.. She would do stuff to me.. It really seemed like she did not want to..  I would either go soft, or ask. Is this ok? She would say yes.  If you are doing something I don't want, I will tell you.  I found out she did not actually do that in the one therapy session we went to. Heartbreaking.. I feel violated, from I guess, violating her. She made it clear that she did not like I got turned on massaging her on the couch.  Her pregnancy was rough.  I felt so bad for her. She gained 60 to 80lbs.  Hated it.  Was in pain/uncomfortable all the time.  Horrible C section.. Got really infected. Took almost 2 years to fully heal.  Had to get her gall bladder removed not long after our first kid was born. It was rough.  

So rough, that my doctor decided I needed to quit my job at Purolator delivery.  I was too stressed working 12 hour days and home life.  Gave me medical leave.  My wife was convinced I did not want to marry her, or love her because I was a zombie at the wedding.. Baby, 60+ hours a week at work, and being up til 3am the night before setting up did me in, I was so tired. So we get married.  She's been sleeping in the living room for a year at this point.  Another 6 months pass… 

It was about 2 weeks after I took stress leave that she decided to come back into the bedroom. I was super excited. I figured the rest from time off had helped me, and I was able to help her with the baby, so she got more rest. At this point she had been sleeping in the living room apart from me, longer than she has slept in the same bed with me by a lot.  Things get sexy, having another kid is not on my mind.  We haven't talked about it.  Our relationship is roommate level at this point.  So I pull out. 

She immediately starts crying.  Saying that her doctor told her that she was ready.  I'm like.. I thought we would talk about this first, wait until your in better shape.  She insists we did talk about it, and thinks I have an issue with her weight.  When really I am thinking about the 2 surgeries that she is not quite healed from.  Or the fact I don't have a job, or that we need to work on our relationship.  She told me she had always planned on having 2 kids as close as possible. She makes it clear to me we won't  have a relationship if I don't get her pregnant.  That was our first time having sex as a married couple. 

I gave her what she wanted. I didn't want to get divorced.  I had just got married 6 months ago. I couldn't say no without things getting even worse than they were.  All I asked was for her to not make it a job.  It was a job.. She was not interested in me.  She just wanted to get pregnant.  It got progressively harder to perform.  Ending with her having to do oral and I would stuff my semi soft penis in when I was close.  As soon as she was pregnant, she was done with me.  We never had sex again. 

It destroyed me.  I could not understand.  It did not go well from there.  It was really hard to be loving and supportive.  She moved out once while she was pregnant.  I convinced her to come back.  She heard me out.  Agreed to work on things.  It failed.   Then she asked for a divorce.  Sure, I had no argument.   She said she wanted the house we were renting, wanted to start a daycare.  Ok.  I asked, more like begged her.  Please do not lose the house.  We will never be able to get a house at this price again.  She agreed.  So I sold or gave away most of my stuff, a whole house of stuff. Gave all my daughters stuff to her mom. She just took what she wanted.  Not much I can do.  I signed over full custody to her as I am going to be homeless now.  Brothers basement. 

The very first morning I am in the basement I get a call from her at 730 am.  She tells me she has big news.  Her parents surprise got her a trailer just then.  She gave notice on the house.  Great.  Homeless and limited kids for no reason.  All my stuff gone.  I was so pissed I didn't talk to her for a month.  Then my parents came.  I tried to get the boys for a visit.. I was told they haven't seen you in a month.  They won't remember you.  My mom called her and got them.  Eventually I got regular but hard to have access.  I was told not to drive them anywhere. Not having my own home made caring for them hard.  I never see my daughter now.  I don't have a room for her.  

The divorce was dumb.  She had two complaints.  I was irregular with child support.  The records show I was always a month ahead, and increased the amount as I could.  The other was denying my time with the children.  Twice I asked if she wanted to keep them because I had to work.  My brother and his wife could watch them.  But she made it clear she did not want them watching the boys. 

Then covid happened.  No court.  I can't get legal aid because I can't ask for custody without a home for them.  I don't have a home to house kids because there is no availability.  I can't afford a home let alone a lawyer.  There are no homes anyway.  Just $900 rooms in share houses. She refuses to negotiate anything.  I am paying her 660 a month.  She stays at 500.  They make threats.  I won't sign.  Then she stops letting me see the kids.  Covid she says.  11 months of not seeing them.  I send a bunch of pretty hostile emails to her lawyer.  She offers boys.. Promised to let me see them.  I sign.  As soon as papers are filed she takes them back.  

I block her.  Email only.  Now she wants to let me have them because she is vaccinated.  I don't want anything to do with her.  I told her at this point I will only work through a 3rd party.  I can't continue to let her do these things.  The only option is to break contact.  But then the boys basically get no dad.  Except I can see them from my work playing in the yard.  I drive by her house to and from work.  She is a 5 min walk from my house.  I can't really escape her.  I want to be a dad to those boys.  But I don't see that happening realistically.  There is no help.  

I have tried the ministry, various help lines, legal aid, community connections, Revelstoke community housing, bc housing, health unit, doctor, probably more.  No real help for anything. I am exercising almost everyday for hour plus.  Eating healthy.  Not drinking.  Trying to quit smoking.  I'm really trying to do all the good things I should.   I had a really great year long relationship with a great lady. I had to break it off when it became clear it was not gonna last. 

I could tell the police about the sexual assault.. But I think they won't care really either.. Plus it would hurt my kids.  She is a early childhood educator.   Getting charged for sexual assault probably would not be good for her job. 

Even if I reported it. I doubt much would happen.. It would also be bad for my kids.. What would you do?