Mothers be good to your sons. She is upset she grew up with a father who was narcissistic, judgmental, quick to anger and a nag. Irony police quick, over here

So growing up, my father was generally unpleasant. He could be narcissistic, demanding, controlling, judgmental, nagging, quick to anger, annoying, etc. While overall I'd say I had a pretty good childhood, he has definitely left some emotional scars. I struggle with social anxiety, which I'm currently seeing a therapist for, and even though he's definitely mellowed out in the past few months (he's getting quite old and it's showing), I still feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I'm alone with him.

Since leaving home for college a couple years ago, I've worked really hard to fully acknowledge and own all the pain he caused me, and I'm super proud of all the progress I've made in my mental health. But I'm also recognizing that growing up with him has had a large effect on how I relate to men in general. I immediately assume that any man I meet is going to be judgmental, harsh, and generally just mean. Intellectually, I know this isn't true, and I've in fact met a lot of nice men throughout my life, but there's just something in me that won't allow me to relax around them. I end up acting overly cautious and deferential, to the point where I don't even feel comfortable looking them in the eye.

I'm most afraid of how this will affect both my personal life. I'm 21 years old and have never had a boyfriend before. I don't even know how to approach a man in a casual setting. How will I ever be able to acquire and maintain a romantic relationship, if I can't even feel comfortable with my partner?

I always thought the term "daddy issues" was reductive and kind of misogynistic, but I don't know, I guess that's what I have?

Basically, I think it's important we recognize the importance of the father-daughter relationship (along with father-son relationships, of course). Because in most cases, a girl's father is her first experience with the patriarchy, and it's a shame that she should have to enter the real world already so fearful of it.