Had a conversation that blew me away. It was with my 65 year-old mother, of all people.

She mentioned that she felt vulnerable as a woman in this country (the United States). I asked her what she thought women faced that men did not, and she brought up the wage gap. I asked "Do you think that might be as a result of women's choices, like making the choice to raise children, rather than a result of discrimination?" She said that felt like blaming women for social expectations placed on them to raise children.

I pointed out the insurance gap (i.e. that men are charged more for the same car insurance), and asked if that should make me feel vulnerable as a man in this country. It was like a switch went off, and suddenly it was "Well that's because men drive more dangerously. Of course they're going to be charged more," which sounds a lot to me like "That is the result of men's choices, like making the choice to take risks, rather than a result of discrimination."

Men, as a group, are to face the consequences of their actions, even if they do not personally engage in the sort of behavior that causes those consequences. Women, as a group, are not to face the consequences of their actions even if they do personally engage in the sort of behavior that causes those consequences.

(FYI: I didn't press the point. Don't fight your family members over shit that doesn't matter. My mother and I love each other, even if we don't agree on stuff like this. Family is more important than disagreements over societal attitudes.)