How American Marriage is being ruined by American Parenting.

widdley · 2014-10-01T20:40:18+00:00

Children should never be the center of anyone's universe. That's how people grow up to be clueless and entitled. I have a strong dislike for any parent that turns into a 1-Up martyr (ie "no one knows how hard I have it" and "you think your life is stressful, I do all that and I have to raise a kid" type statements). Love your kid, but don't let them run your life.

It's irksome to see people conflate discipline and child-abuse as though they're the same thing. Discipline has become a dirty word that suggests everything from brutality to psychologically stamping out little Susie Q's childlike wonder. Responsibility, respect, discipline, and knowing the value of a job well-done are lessons that often get overlooked unfortunately.

/end ramble

Here's a link to the essay mentioned in the article, which I find rather loving and sensible.

And if my children resent having been moons rather than the sun? If they berate me for not having loved them enough? If they call me a bad mother?

I will tell them that I wish for them a love like I have for their father. I will tell them that they are my children, and they deserve both to love and be loved like that. I will tell them to settle for nothing less than what they saw when they looked at me, looking at him.

The author of the essay still has an active bedroom life even though she's a busy mother of four. She loves her kids, tends to them, looks after them, and plays with them - but they do not occupy the same space in her heart as her husband does. I see no problem with that. She loves her kids, but she loves her husband more.

ALadyLikeMe · 2014-10-02T06:38:54+00:00

My wise RP style grandmother definitely put her relationship before her children and tells me this proudly. She loved them all but Grandpa always came first and they are still madly in love over 60 years later. Considering that less than half that amount of time was spent raising their children, I'd say they made a good investment as they have eachother in their old age, and their marriage is really the nucleus of the entire extended family.

Only issue is that sometimes the kids took it a bit personally...there were 5 of them so grandma let the eldest do a lot of the rearing while she accompanied Captain grandpa to sailing events in the Caribbean. The older kids of course had a great time throwing wild house parties while the parents were out of town, while the younger ones got swept up in the ruckus. Even though they had great relationship role models, most of them have gone through divorces themselves now, though I feel this is mainly due to the cultural shift brought on by feminism.

mrp3anut · 2014-10-01T17:37:25+00:00

The world has always been child centric, always will be, and it should be. The issue is not that children are more important than adults but in what ways they are more important.

My father would eagerly give his life to save my sister or me from a murderer but he won't give us all his money so we can go party and such.

The future of humanity rest in children but being wise enough the realize spoiling children does not mean you value them is rare in our society.

Title	How American Marriage is being ruined by American Parenting.
Author	widdley
Upvotes	11
Comments	10
Date	October 1, 2014 4:56 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2i07jc/how_american_marriage_is_being_ruined_by_american/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-american-marriage-is-being-ruined-by-american.84922 https://theredarchive.com/post/84922

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