Men's struggle in a modern society is a big issue, but attacking women is the worst solution out there

600 points•209 comments•submitted by Radeck8bit to r/unpopularopinion3

Last discussion about the topic of men's struggles like mental health problems, societal expectations etc. had some very good points but also a lot of very bad ones. Seeing many people ranting on women’s rights movement this may be an unpopular opinion here. Attacking women and pointing fingers can lead only to conflict and would make the overall problem worse. In many effective movements the best solution was to strengthen the subject, not try to weaken others. There were exceptions of course, but in general women movement (how I understand it) is about empowering women, not diminishing men. Like the idea of Sisterhood and helping each other. The idea of positive Brotherhood is what present day men need in my opinion. Men being strong on our own, not being stronger than women. There were similarities in American civil rights movement for example.

I liked that (in)famous Gillete commercial where men were telling other men how to not be an a-hole. And it got backlash from some salty individuals. The same people are watching superheroes movies where heroes (men) are fighting with villains (also men) and are ok with it. Moreover, they are rooting for heroes to win. Why when we swap "let us violently stop this man from robbing banks or taking over the world" to "let us peacefully stop this man from sexually abusing others" then suddenly we've got a different reaction? I always ask myself: "What would Batman do?" And Batman would love that commercial.

I am a white male and I struggled economically, socially, with my mental health, with my physical health, with my jobs, with my identity, with my relationships and with many other things. But I'm not blaming anybody for it, especially not women. I overcame difficulties in my life (and I still do) by reinforcing and empowering myself. Not by putting others down. I also support others where I can on their road to self-improvement. That means also women.. I think men need some accurate term for our movement to better ourself. Maybe "mascutivity" (masculine+positivity)? I dunno something like that.

Also the thing with posts about men's problems are often not taken seriously is a lot of them smells like far-right, anti-women dog whistling. And that is a problem on its own. It's the same tactic like of Holocaust deniers: put an "innocent" question or point a "neutral" issue, and when people start debating it, the pack of denialist swarming with hate speech and fabricated accusations. The best way to counter it, is to dismiss it from the start. I don't want this to happen with posts about men well-being. My solution is to put some sort of assurance statement with every such post like: "this is not far-right dog whistling" or "don't want anti-women comments" or something like that.

Be safe and all the best for all men out there!

edit: Thank you all for positive responses! And not-thank you for all the misogynist crap. I will not respond individually for comments, but I will adress one thing:

Some guys wrote: "Gillette commercial said that all men are evil, toxic" etc. Well, no. Not at all. There is no such statement that ALL men are anything like that. There is no such statement that most men are anything like that. But men CAN be like that. If there is among you a man who never, ever in his entire life was toxic towards woman or anybody, let him first cast a stone.

Commercial just pointed out, that there are toxic men and bullies out there (fact) and that there are men, who are nothing like that (fact). If you are not toxic, if you are not a bully, then why are you offended? It is not about you.