I’m leaving my husband

10,863 points•1,035 comments•submitted by DarkDirector19 to r/TrueOffMyChest2

He told me he wanted a break. I begged him to stay. We’ve been together for 15 years; he’s all I know. He agreed but has been distant ever since. He wants to have an open relationship; I do not. He wants to have sex with his co-worker because he’s attracted to her; I am obviously not okay with this. I asked him if he’s still in love with me. He gets mad that I keep asking questions and says yes, he loves me (but not that he’s in love with me). I feel like I have to tiptoe around him or else he gets mad. If I ask questions about (what I see as) his betrayal, he flies off the handle. He threatens to leave every other day. I have decided to leave him.

I’m looking for apartments behind his back while we make plans for our son’s birthday. He has no idea that while he’s at work tomorrow I will be looking at an apartment for me and my kids. We have several pets that he will have to deal with. He will have to pay the hydro bill and the gas bill. He will have to grocery shop for himself and cook for himself. But he says he’s lived on his own before so this shouldn’t be a problem for him, right?

It’s been 15 years of companionship. I don’t know how to live without him, but I’m going to have to try. I can’t keep going in this relationship. God help me.

Edit: there is a lot of talk about kidnapping and leaving while he’s not home. I should clarify. I am finding another place to live. Once that has been secured and I cannot back out (because this has happened before) I will sit down with him and talk to him and tell him we are leaving. If he doesn’t want the responsibilities of a married man and father, and he would rather be on his own to get drunk and sleep with other women, I will certainly not leave him to look after the kids. I will in no way stand in his way from seeing them, but he will not have custody.

As for the pets, he will look after them. They are his babies. They can be left alone for a few hours while he’s out partying and sleeping with other women. The children cannot.

Edit 2 because apparently I wasn’t clear enough: I am not “taking the children away from him”. They will live with me. I am home. My husband works swing shift and often doesn’t get home until 3 am. He will have full access to the kids whenever he (and they) want. By him not having custody I meant they will not live full time with him because of the reasons stated above.